okay.. so wow this is gonna be a long question.
i've been friend with ';kara'; for like two years. we went to different junior highs but hung out on weekends and got to be way tight and i started hanging out with her and her friends. she liked this kid ';luke'; for like a week and then they were together. thats just how her life goes if she likes a guy they automatically like her back :P bleh. anyway haha so she had told me about him a lot and i finally met him at the end of school last year and he was so nice and so friendly and right away i knew i was falling for him but i was trying not to and all summer we texted till like four in the morning and all day while we were at work and stuff. but i just kept telling myself that we were just freinds but i really think it was more than that. and like sometimes he would invite me to hang out at his house and not invite kara..
so now we're in high school and i see them all the time and at first it was great but kara sees luke and i together a lot and she realized that i like him so much. we text a lot too and like hang out and have a crazy awesome time but kara just wants luke to sit on the couch and cuddle and he doesn't want to he wants to like run around and flirt and not be boring. so now, she won't let me be alone with him. ever. if luke and i are talking she just stands there to make sure nothing happens. gay? yes it is.
i wouldnt even believe she would do that but she's talked to other people about it and like seriously i haven't talked to him alone in like a week unless its texting. and its so akward when i'm with kara because she wants to act like we are best friends and stuff but i can't make myself act like that so it makes her mad and just makes things worse!
i wish i could just stop liking luke but its so hard cuz i've liked him so much for so long aghh. this sucks. :( kara keeps saying luke likes her but like she has always been kinda a liar so i dont know if i really believe her. also like i would just ask him but how would i do that without sounding weird? it just seems like so elementry schoolish..
anyway what should i do? any help is awesome cuz so far i am just ignoring it and its just getting worse. its like breaking my heart in two places cuz i love kara and we have been friends for so long and i really really like luke and he acts like he likes me!Friend/relationship advice..? please help!?
Well you should Just ask him if he really likes her,
'Cause from what your saying , it seems like he doesn't.
And if she was a good friend she wouldn't care about you being alone with him, and she would trust you.
Its your Choice in the end, but you should do what you want, Hang out with this luke kid when you want to and don't let her tell you what to do. If she tells to to bug off, tell her no.
Its 'Luke's' and your choice if you guys want to hang out. Not hers.
Friend/relationship advice..? please help!?
she was your friends boyfriend, in girl world he's off limits forever. either dump the boy or dump your friend. cause you can't have both.
put it behind you
You all got problems........get an education
Chicks before d**ks. Seriously I was in your same situation and it's not worth losing your best friend. I lost mine for three years and now I finally have her back and it was all because of my ';super great boyfriend';. Just explain it to Luke and Try to fix thisngs with Kara. I hope this helps even though I know it will be hard if you do it.
Talk to your high school counselor. They can usually help you sort this stuff out. Or you could even commit the highest of teenager sins...talk to your parents about it! (cue dramatic music). Look, in reality this is just a bunch of high school drama. What is more important to you, some guy you have a crush on, or your best friend? It doesn't seem that hard to figure this one out. This whole thing is extremely childish, you wanna know why? Because you are still practically a child. You are in high school, get an education. Don't let this stupid **** distract you, just focus on your studies, get into a good college, study some more and get a life.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Need relationship advice?
my boyfriend and i had a talk last night. a serious one. he is the sweetest guy but his phone was always off and he would cancel our plans without telling me. he always had a valid reason. i dont know if it is just that he doesnt get it or if he is purposely doing it.
i broke up with him last night. i wasnt ready to. i am still so in love and so is he. we decided to stay together because we are happy when we are together. its just when he does these stupid things we arent happy. he isnt very romantic or passionate but he says he loves me so much.
i believe him.....but im afraid he will never give me what i need.
am i stupid for staying?? we both cannot picture our lives with anyone else.Need relationship advice?
Love is which returns back to you, if he returns he is all yours and if not then you made a mistake in choosing the right partner.....well, there may be valid reasons but not everytime it may happen, ther may be an ';atleast'; limit for picking your phone and making you feel love, so moral just be patient and leave him for a week or two, lets see if he comes back and explains you everything...if not then forget him, you may still have better loving people around you...so all d bestNeed relationship advice?
you should clear out topics with him...
the best advice is communication...
without it is impossiple for a relationship to survive...
tell him that he should tell you in advance when he needs to cancel any plans...
and to call you back when he's phone is off...
That's hard :/
You have to do what you think is best for you, and you sorta sound like you're doubting your relationship with him. Relationships, serious ones, are not made for doubts, and so I think you need to reflect on WHAT you love about your relationship with him. You also need to tell him that if he wants to be with you, he needs to be more sensitive, and stop leaving his phone off and cancelling plans.
Good luck! :)
u r actually smart for staying because that shows your love for him tell him that he needs to be a lil more passionate about things showing that he cares for you both of you should find ways to show ur love in a non-sexual way
i know what you mean... i have a girlfiend and can't pictue her with anyone else but me and yet every time we try to break up the breaking up gets canceled
If you really believe he loves you then the two of you have to work together to come up with a plan that both can accept. He need to turn his phone on or put it on viberate, and he need to do better at remembering plans. You need to remind him. My husband was like that although not as bad. He would forget but he does not turn his phone off so I could always reach him. Things got a lot better after we got married because he's always there. I would remind him a day before of the plans we made. And every weekend we would discuss our plans. And sometimes, I just have to accept that he just forgot and move on.
i was in the exact same position a few years ago- after 4 years i realized he just doesnt have passion in him like i do and he doesnt feel the need for romance like i do, and it hurt to leave but i found a guy who is in to all of that and it was SO the right move. Don't settle for less than you want. Being picky and expecting more are two very different things.
If you are going to trust what he says ,then you have to do that. If you are in question of his loyalty, tell him. Its a common courtesy to call and or be available to the one you are committed to. Maybe he doesn't have this mature social skill developed yet. You are not stupid you are being cautious, Keep a good boundary, and you will be fine.
i broke up with him last night. i wasnt ready to. i am still so in love and so is he. we decided to stay together because we are happy when we are together. its just when he does these stupid things we arent happy. he isnt very romantic or passionate but he says he loves me so much.
i believe him.....but im afraid he will never give me what i need.
am i stupid for staying?? we both cannot picture our lives with anyone else.Need relationship advice?
Love is which returns back to you, if he returns he is all yours and if not then you made a mistake in choosing the right partner.....well, there may be valid reasons but not everytime it may happen, ther may be an ';atleast'; limit for picking your phone and making you feel love, so moral just be patient and leave him for a week or two, lets see if he comes back and explains you everything...if not then forget him, you may still have better loving people around you...so all d bestNeed relationship advice?
you should clear out topics with him...
the best advice is communication...
without it is impossiple for a relationship to survive...
tell him that he should tell you in advance when he needs to cancel any plans...
and to call you back when he's phone is off...
That's hard :/
You have to do what you think is best for you, and you sorta sound like you're doubting your relationship with him. Relationships, serious ones, are not made for doubts, and so I think you need to reflect on WHAT you love about your relationship with him. You also need to tell him that if he wants to be with you, he needs to be more sensitive, and stop leaving his phone off and cancelling plans.
Good luck! :)
u r actually smart for staying because that shows your love for him tell him that he needs to be a lil more passionate about things showing that he cares for you both of you should find ways to show ur love in a non-sexual way
i know what you mean... i have a girlfiend and can't pictue her with anyone else but me and yet every time we try to break up the breaking up gets canceled
If you really believe he loves you then the two of you have to work together to come up with a plan that both can accept. He need to turn his phone on or put it on viberate, and he need to do better at remembering plans. You need to remind him. My husband was like that although not as bad. He would forget but he does not turn his phone off so I could always reach him. Things got a lot better after we got married because he's always there. I would remind him a day before of the plans we made. And every weekend we would discuss our plans. And sometimes, I just have to accept that he just forgot and move on.
i was in the exact same position a few years ago- after 4 years i realized he just doesnt have passion in him like i do and he doesnt feel the need for romance like i do, and it hurt to leave but i found a guy who is in to all of that and it was SO the right move. Don't settle for less than you want. Being picky and expecting more are two very different things.
If you are going to trust what he says ,then you have to do that. If you are in question of his loyalty, tell him. Its a common courtesy to call and or be available to the one you are committed to. Maybe he doesn't have this mature social skill developed yet. You are not stupid you are being cautious, Keep a good boundary, and you will be fine.
Boyfriend/Relationship Advice...Kinda Long/?
So My bf and I have been dating for 4 years. He broke up with me 2 days ago. I didnt know what to do or where to start.. So Last nite..(We still live together)...We had sex... and afterwards he flipped out on me... When he was about to *** I held him.. yo it was like a total joke and he thought I was like trying to get preg so he'd stay with me...I wasn't..I'm 19 and I dont want a baby. It was literatly a JOKE! Anyways he steals MY car and leaves and comes bak like 2 hours later wanting to talk. And of course I was willing.. cause I wanted em bak. Well. He ended up telling me everythin I needed to change for him.. Like I feel that I always need to be in contact with him. I'll text him and if he doesnt send bak I'll just like freak out on em and start saying crap about him with being with girls...Which he rarley hangs out with girls. He also said I needed to change by NOT bringing up this chick he cheated on me with. [[there is more..hold up]]Boyfriend/Relationship Advice...Kinda Long/?
Well, when u have a man who tells u that u are the ones who has to change so u can be together, thats not gonna be a happy relationship. Unless u feel like these are changes that u want to make for yourself, u are going to end up resenting him, trust me i know. And dont u deserve someone who doesnt cheat on you? I know ur young, but you have to show whoever ur with what u will and will not tolerrate. u have to show them what ur worth.Boyfriend/Relationship Advice...Kinda Long/?
OMG, HE OESNT EVEN HAVE HIS OWN CAR. ARE YOU ALSO PAYING THE RENT TOO?
let him go, 4 years is not long considering that you have the rest of your life ahead of you, let him go-what a user.
you and i both kno hel cheat again. its jus a matter of time
Ummm
why are you still living with your ex after two years?
anyways, i think despite what he says next, you should tell him how you feel and see how he reacts to that
Please answer mine: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Sounds like you both need a time out...If he is who you want and he wants to be with you...it will work out. Maybe try counseling.
......';)
oh well... i guess you know the answer by now... from what youre telling us... i guess its time to BREAK UP and MOVE ON... he is just using you... and the fact that he cheated on you means he can do it again in the future...
and youre PAYING the rent and he is USING your car really makes him dependable on you... another reason why you should break up on him...
another is... he does not trust you and you dont... either way... its not working for you guys... so i suggest that you break up with him... he is not worth all those troubles if he cannot support you in any way possible...stop pimples
Well, when u have a man who tells u that u are the ones who has to change so u can be together, thats not gonna be a happy relationship. Unless u feel like these are changes that u want to make for yourself, u are going to end up resenting him, trust me i know. And dont u deserve someone who doesnt cheat on you? I know ur young, but you have to show whoever ur with what u will and will not tolerrate. u have to show them what ur worth.Boyfriend/Relationship Advice...Kinda Long/?
OMG, HE OESNT EVEN HAVE HIS OWN CAR. ARE YOU ALSO PAYING THE RENT TOO?
let him go, 4 years is not long considering that you have the rest of your life ahead of you, let him go-what a user.
you and i both kno hel cheat again. its jus a matter of time
Ummm
why are you still living with your ex after two years?
anyways, i think despite what he says next, you should tell him how you feel and see how he reacts to that
Please answer mine: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Sounds like you both need a time out...If he is who you want and he wants to be with you...it will work out. Maybe try counseling.
......';)
oh well... i guess you know the answer by now... from what youre telling us... i guess its time to BREAK UP and MOVE ON... he is just using you... and the fact that he cheated on you means he can do it again in the future...
and youre PAYING the rent and he is USING your car really makes him dependable on you... another reason why you should break up on him...
another is... he does not trust you and you dont... either way... its not working for you guys... so i suggest that you break up with him... he is not worth all those troubles if he cannot support you in any way possible...
Help- relationship advice for my mother!?
Ok, my mum got with her 1st girlfriend 8 yrs ago and after all of this time she has told my mum that she was seeing someone else for 4 years of their relationship! this broke my mums heart! my mums stopped seeing her and has now found someone else (a very lovely woman) but now this woman has been getting prank calls-like 60 odd a day- from mums ex telling her rubbish to try and put her off! its all so childish and she refuses to change her number. but you can tell its hurting her! my mums done everything she can to tell her to stay away and she just wont! how can they get through this? is there a way of making her stay away (my mums fed up and its killing her new relationship, she's too old to play games and feels that she will now loose new girlfriend because of her harassing ex!) is there anything the police can do? we cant prove she is calling as she hides her no, but its her voice at the end of the line!)
thanksHelp- relationship advice for my mother!?
buy a new sim card ,Help- relationship advice for my mother!?
Thanks everyone! she reported the phone calls, its not yet been proven to be her but the calls havnt came from only one place (the ex is a delivery driver) so..... now the police are waiting to catch her, the phone calls will go to them and she will be done and charged once caught :) thanks :) Report Abuse
record the messages and take to the police dept. to file complaints. File a restraining order as well. You can have the telephone company install the ';block'; feature for a monthly fee. Add her number to the list and she can't call anymore.
You could secretly tell the police for harrasment and they could then track the line, so they can hear what she says. Just make sure and do everything you can so your Mum's ex don't find out!
If its your mums exs voice then you can file a complaint with the police or apply for an injuntion to stop her harrassing them
Someone had to have given the ex the name and/or phone number...
Perhaps your mother?
If your mom needs relationship advice, she's quite capable of asking for it on her own.
thanksHelp- relationship advice for my mother!?
buy a new sim card ,Help- relationship advice for my mother!?
Thanks everyone! she reported the phone calls, its not yet been proven to be her but the calls havnt came from only one place (the ex is a delivery driver) so..... now the police are waiting to catch her, the phone calls will go to them and she will be done and charged once caught :) thanks :) Report Abuse
record the messages and take to the police dept. to file complaints. File a restraining order as well. You can have the telephone company install the ';block'; feature for a monthly fee. Add her number to the list and she can't call anymore.
You could secretly tell the police for harrasment and they could then track the line, so they can hear what she says. Just make sure and do everything you can so your Mum's ex don't find out!
If its your mums exs voice then you can file a complaint with the police or apply for an injuntion to stop her harrassing them
Someone had to have given the ex the name and/or phone number...
Perhaps your mother?
If your mom needs relationship advice, she's quite capable of asking for it on her own.
Online Relationship Advice?
I told him I was not ready for a relationship, but I wanted to be friends.
Mostly, we talked on the phone. He said he hopes I change my mind, he still care for me, and I am close to his heart. He wanted to meet me. I told him I was not ready to meet.
However, I got upset when he said he would give me a call but don't. We met online and I have not met him. He wished me a happy birthday. After eight months, I did not wish him a birthday because I felt like he not calling me so why should I. He called me the day after his birthday. I did not give him a call back. He is 23 and I am 22.
My dad was against me talking to someone online, so I am not sure if I want to meet and commit myself. I did not tell him that I liked him.
Four months has passed, I keep thinking about him. I miss him. He spoke to my mother but she is more supportive.
Now I called him twice but he ignored me. I still like him. I have known him for more than a year.Online Relationship Advice?
I think one of the most important thing about a good relationship is to tell your friend or bf or gf how much u love them! why didint u say that when u really liked him? saying u love or like someone to them will make ur relationship stranger and with more love:)
Hope u tell this to him,maybe he waited to hear this from u all the time.
xoxo
wish u good luck dear;)Online Relationship Advice?
i talk with women online that live in different places. we keep it as friends though. wow this one is tough cause there are alot of creep jobs out there. but maybe he has found someone that lives in his area thats why he doesnt call. i dont know did you two ever discusss meeting each other face to face? but i dont know you just have to use caution
Why continue to play games, if you're interested be interested, if not then don't and move on.....make a decision.
?
Mostly, we talked on the phone. He said he hopes I change my mind, he still care for me, and I am close to his heart. He wanted to meet me. I told him I was not ready to meet.
However, I got upset when he said he would give me a call but don't. We met online and I have not met him. He wished me a happy birthday. After eight months, I did not wish him a birthday because I felt like he not calling me so why should I. He called me the day after his birthday. I did not give him a call back. He is 23 and I am 22.
My dad was against me talking to someone online, so I am not sure if I want to meet and commit myself. I did not tell him that I liked him.
Four months has passed, I keep thinking about him. I miss him. He spoke to my mother but she is more supportive.
Now I called him twice but he ignored me. I still like him. I have known him for more than a year.Online Relationship Advice?
I think one of the most important thing about a good relationship is to tell your friend or bf or gf how much u love them! why didint u say that when u really liked him? saying u love or like someone to them will make ur relationship stranger and with more love:)
Hope u tell this to him,maybe he waited to hear this from u all the time.
xoxo
wish u good luck dear;)Online Relationship Advice?
i talk with women online that live in different places. we keep it as friends though. wow this one is tough cause there are alot of creep jobs out there. but maybe he has found someone that lives in his area thats why he doesnt call. i dont know did you two ever discusss meeting each other face to face? but i dont know you just have to use caution
Why continue to play games, if you're interested be interested, if not then don't and move on.....make a decision.
?
Need relationship advice. Does anyone have this going on?
I can't even talk to my boyfriend anymore. When he gets home from work i totally understand he wants to just relax but he always wants to be left alone, which is fine too, but i mean he hardly even talks to me the whole night. Like today I went an hour out of my way to bring him lunch to his work, he couldnt talk to me cause he had to work (which is fine too), but then he hardly talked to me when he got home. The problem i had is he told me he's a little bit sexually frustrated cause i dont ...do stuff enough, but its like i just have no motivation to. My only motivation is so he doesnt cheat, and lately i like dont even care. He never talks to me, I NEVER EVER EVER get any sex EVER...(its always me going down on him). We've been dating 7 years and we live together and it just sucks. Can you give me any advice? I just told him i'm sad and im gonna go in the other room lol and he just stayed in his room and doesnt care....he just seems to be caring less and less about me. What should i do here? This is a really long relationship that i dont want to just end, although its been on my mind a lot.Need relationship advice. Does anyone have this going on?
I believe that people now-a-days put to much concertraion on how long they have been with someone. U should realize that it doesnt matter if it has been 2 week, 2 months, 2 years, or even 7 years... If its not working and their is no sign of it getting better then its not working.Need relationship advice. Does anyone have this going on?
Both of you seem to be frustrated with each other and have taken each other for granted. Your relation is too complicated. if you want to continue it then talk with your boyfriend and see his point of view and both of you adjust accordingly. if you have made your mind to end your relation then just go ahead and do it. it will seen difficult. but the longer you hurt yourself by staying in this relation it will hurt more.
well I think he needs a vacantion,and try to not stay in his way and try a day or 2 day to not talk with him maybe he will oberve that something is happening,but if not u will have to talk with him and tell him everything u have in your heart,good luck and be strong in a couple this kind of situation is very offten
Sounds exactly like how my relationship was before it ended. He might just think its not gonna work or something and subconsciuosly distancing himself from you. You deserve better, and considering you said you don't really care care, you should have no problem leaving. Find someone who cares, and is.. lets say, satisfying.
A friend once told me, ';if you imagine someone else with him %26amp; you don't care it's time to end things';. I know 7 yrs is a long time but if you can't talk %26amp; work it out, you need to remember you want to be happy for the rest of your life. Hope this helps.
He hates his job and it is destroying his spirit. He hopes you can give him an escape from his misery at home but U do not seem up to that. The last thing he needs is to deal with everything at work and then come home and deal with your dissatisfaction.
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My best advice is to find a grrl friend you can share your dissatisfaction with and perhaps you and she can lift each other's spirits and deal with the situation until it passes.
*
Maybe you need to talk him into finding a different job. Maybe you should make money to help take the pressure off him.
*
At any rate, how do the weekends go, I think given two days you should be able to motivate him for sex.
Dear Neglected,
It is not uncommon for a relationship to fall into regularity and lose its fire. It is even more common for the man to lose interest first.
Counseling is usually the best solution to this problem, though it is not uncommon for the man to be hesitant or completely opposed to engaging in that solution. The reason that counseling is so important is that it forces both parties to engage in communication that is lacking in the relationship. In your case, you seem to be making an effort at communicating, but your significant other is lacking.
One do it at home solution is to try to rekindle the fire yourself using a few different methods. One simple, short term solution is trying to take a small trip or vacation together. This gets the couple out of the regular scheme of things and will make communication necessary. You might be able to (which could be used during/after your trip when communication is improved) convince your partner to engage in some new activity. For example, you could take language lessons, scuba, sky diving, tennis, exercising, etc. together. Engaging in physical activities together usually will require communication and even increase the libido, which brings me to my next point.
As for sex, it should not be a chore, though sometimes it turns out that way for men. If it is possible to open the lines of communication, you should discuss each others fantasies or even try new things that seem different to you. There has to be mutual consent however and sympathy for each others desires. Recently, I had a friend of mine tell me that she does a lot of different stuff with her boyfriend. They are very open about what they want and find themselves laughing at times while they have good sex. Yeah, I'm throwing up with jealousy too, but I think there is that potential for all of us!
i was in the SAME situation. We were in college and had no time bc studying or whatever, but he was also being rude by playing games and spending time on other things than me when he was home. Unfortunately, it ended bc i couldnt take being alone, and that is when he decided to change. but it was too late, at least for me, bc i was tired of explaining myself. have u tried to tell him? maybe he doesnt realize it? and u should open yourself in everyway to him- espcly sex bc that is SO important for relationships. once that is gone, everything falls apart, in my experience, so maybe you should spark a light again?
My Mother once told me, '; I gave you live son, you have to make the rest of it work yourself, I only promised you life';
I believe you have to talk this out with him, pick a weekend when work is not part of the problem. I understand a investment in time, but if it is not working and you can't talk, then you can't fix the problem.
as for your sexual problem. If is is tired your the pressure release for him. And this is fair as long as it works both ways too. Like going to a shower together and then to bed a hour or so early on a Friday night and playing for about before you get down to the needs of adults.
good luck
Johnny
I think you should try to do something new. maybe he is bored in this relationship so try to cheer him up.
there's obviously sth wrong with him. he might be depressed. u need to take serious action and talk to a therapist. he might be over this relationship, but before going for the break up option, u'd better make sure he's mentally fine, he may need help.
if his sex drive is affected, (and we consider he's not cheating) then depression is very much of an option.
breaking up is the last option in ur case. so be strong and step fwd to work this out instead of acting passive aggressive.
If he was all fine, then go for break up and saving ur self-steem !
i like all the answers from the girl's point of view but i agree with the one guys, if it's not working, then it's not working. if he wanted it to work, he'd be trying to talk with you. maybe try to talk to him once, maybe mention it a second time, then leave. you're better than that and after seven years, he should know when you're sad or worried or want to talk. maybe after you say something he'll get the hint then and it'll all work out, and maybe he'll say it's not meant to be anymore, help you move and invite you not to come back. you never know until you say something.
good luck tho, in any case.
Sounds to me like he's apathetic and depressed. You're going to have to make him talk to you. Ask him how he feels about you, if he still loves you. You should explain your feelings to him too. If you can't get him to talk, write him a LONG letter and put sneak it into his lunch box. Put it in the same bag as his sandwich (he can't miss it there). I would suggest at the end of the letter you give him some options of what he needs to do if he wants to this to work. All else fails, he needs to see a therapist or if you are friends with one of his buddies, ask him to talk to your boyfriend and see what you can find out.
Wish the best for you!
Your boyfriend doesn't appreciate you the way he maybe did when you guys first started dating. From reading your post, it seems as if you do everything to keep him happy at the expense of your own happiness. If it hasn't already, this will turn into a destructive, unfulfilling relationship. It's hard for me to say this, because I love a good BJ, but don't give him anything until you guys come to an understanding. Obviously, you two are bound because you're living together, but you're not married. So, in order to make progress, and to get things to work for you as well (whatever the outcome may be couple/breakup), you need to speak to him, and express your feelings. You shouldn't be afraid to hold back. Actually, it should be easier for you because you've been together for seven years. Best wishes for your happiness!
I believe that people now-a-days put to much concertraion on how long they have been with someone. U should realize that it doesnt matter if it has been 2 week, 2 months, 2 years, or even 7 years... If its not working and their is no sign of it getting better then its not working.Need relationship advice. Does anyone have this going on?
Both of you seem to be frustrated with each other and have taken each other for granted. Your relation is too complicated. if you want to continue it then talk with your boyfriend and see his point of view and both of you adjust accordingly. if you have made your mind to end your relation then just go ahead and do it. it will seen difficult. but the longer you hurt yourself by staying in this relation it will hurt more.
well I think he needs a vacantion,and try to not stay in his way and try a day or 2 day to not talk with him maybe he will oberve that something is happening,but if not u will have to talk with him and tell him everything u have in your heart,good luck and be strong in a couple this kind of situation is very offten
Sounds exactly like how my relationship was before it ended. He might just think its not gonna work or something and subconsciuosly distancing himself from you. You deserve better, and considering you said you don't really care care, you should have no problem leaving. Find someone who cares, and is.. lets say, satisfying.
A friend once told me, ';if you imagine someone else with him %26amp; you don't care it's time to end things';. I know 7 yrs is a long time but if you can't talk %26amp; work it out, you need to remember you want to be happy for the rest of your life. Hope this helps.
He hates his job and it is destroying his spirit. He hopes you can give him an escape from his misery at home but U do not seem up to that. The last thing he needs is to deal with everything at work and then come home and deal with your dissatisfaction.
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My best advice is to find a grrl friend you can share your dissatisfaction with and perhaps you and she can lift each other's spirits and deal with the situation until it passes.
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Maybe you need to talk him into finding a different job. Maybe you should make money to help take the pressure off him.
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At any rate, how do the weekends go, I think given two days you should be able to motivate him for sex.
Dear Neglected,
It is not uncommon for a relationship to fall into regularity and lose its fire. It is even more common for the man to lose interest first.
Counseling is usually the best solution to this problem, though it is not uncommon for the man to be hesitant or completely opposed to engaging in that solution. The reason that counseling is so important is that it forces both parties to engage in communication that is lacking in the relationship. In your case, you seem to be making an effort at communicating, but your significant other is lacking.
One do it at home solution is to try to rekindle the fire yourself using a few different methods. One simple, short term solution is trying to take a small trip or vacation together. This gets the couple out of the regular scheme of things and will make communication necessary. You might be able to (which could be used during/after your trip when communication is improved) convince your partner to engage in some new activity. For example, you could take language lessons, scuba, sky diving, tennis, exercising, etc. together. Engaging in physical activities together usually will require communication and even increase the libido, which brings me to my next point.
As for sex, it should not be a chore, though sometimes it turns out that way for men. If it is possible to open the lines of communication, you should discuss each others fantasies or even try new things that seem different to you. There has to be mutual consent however and sympathy for each others desires. Recently, I had a friend of mine tell me that she does a lot of different stuff with her boyfriend. They are very open about what they want and find themselves laughing at times while they have good sex. Yeah, I'm throwing up with jealousy too, but I think there is that potential for all of us!
i was in the SAME situation. We were in college and had no time bc studying or whatever, but he was also being rude by playing games and spending time on other things than me when he was home. Unfortunately, it ended bc i couldnt take being alone, and that is when he decided to change. but it was too late, at least for me, bc i was tired of explaining myself. have u tried to tell him? maybe he doesnt realize it? and u should open yourself in everyway to him- espcly sex bc that is SO important for relationships. once that is gone, everything falls apart, in my experience, so maybe you should spark a light again?
My Mother once told me, '; I gave you live son, you have to make the rest of it work yourself, I only promised you life';
I believe you have to talk this out with him, pick a weekend when work is not part of the problem. I understand a investment in time, but if it is not working and you can't talk, then you can't fix the problem.
as for your sexual problem. If is is tired your the pressure release for him. And this is fair as long as it works both ways too. Like going to a shower together and then to bed a hour or so early on a Friday night and playing for about before you get down to the needs of adults.
good luck
Johnny
I think you should try to do something new. maybe he is bored in this relationship so try to cheer him up.
there's obviously sth wrong with him. he might be depressed. u need to take serious action and talk to a therapist. he might be over this relationship, but before going for the break up option, u'd better make sure he's mentally fine, he may need help.
if his sex drive is affected, (and we consider he's not cheating) then depression is very much of an option.
breaking up is the last option in ur case. so be strong and step fwd to work this out instead of acting passive aggressive.
If he was all fine, then go for break up and saving ur self-steem !
i like all the answers from the girl's point of view but i agree with the one guys, if it's not working, then it's not working. if he wanted it to work, he'd be trying to talk with you. maybe try to talk to him once, maybe mention it a second time, then leave. you're better than that and after seven years, he should know when you're sad or worried or want to talk. maybe after you say something he'll get the hint then and it'll all work out, and maybe he'll say it's not meant to be anymore, help you move and invite you not to come back. you never know until you say something.
good luck tho, in any case.
Sounds to me like he's apathetic and depressed. You're going to have to make him talk to you. Ask him how he feels about you, if he still loves you. You should explain your feelings to him too. If you can't get him to talk, write him a LONG letter and put sneak it into his lunch box. Put it in the same bag as his sandwich (he can't miss it there). I would suggest at the end of the letter you give him some options of what he needs to do if he wants to this to work. All else fails, he needs to see a therapist or if you are friends with one of his buddies, ask him to talk to your boyfriend and see what you can find out.
Wish the best for you!
Your boyfriend doesn't appreciate you the way he maybe did when you guys first started dating. From reading your post, it seems as if you do everything to keep him happy at the expense of your own happiness. If it hasn't already, this will turn into a destructive, unfulfilling relationship. It's hard for me to say this, because I love a good BJ, but don't give him anything until you guys come to an understanding. Obviously, you two are bound because you're living together, but you're not married. So, in order to make progress, and to get things to work for you as well (whatever the outcome may be couple/breakup), you need to speak to him, and express your feelings. You shouldn't be afraid to hold back. Actually, it should be easier for you because you've been together for seven years. Best wishes for your happiness!
Post relationship advice needed?
I was involved with this girl for more than 2 year. I have been doing everything I can to show my faith in the relationship, to care for her and her future. But throughout the whole time, she kept staying in her own world of thinking. She has accused me of being with her b/c I want to have sex with her, accused me of breaking apart of her family, she accused of selfish, superficial, etc. I swallowed all those and stayed with her. It is the time that I was considering her future and her career success, and she told me I was not worth, not once, but twice on my face thar drove me to make a decision of leaving. She even said that I pretend to be nice %26amp; my true goal was just breaking up with her.
Then after a while, she said she realized what she did %26amp; wanted forgiveness from me. And she said I would always be her good friend. My thought is, she has done enough damage on my life, I can never pretend nothing has happened. When I tried to explain my thoughts to her. She thought I wanted to get back to her and said ';I can get back with u b/c the economy is so bad.'; nothing made sense to me from her. It is not that I don't want to forgive but I am scared if she is going to do the same thing to me again once I agree to be friend with her and establish normal contact. Deep in my thought, she isnot a bad person, but should I risk my self-eestem %26amp; self-respect again to give her a chance? And she seems to really understand she was wrong. I am just confused.Post relationship advice needed?
U just be a friend.. Give her second chance and see. If she does the same thing, then u can say gud bye to her.. It will not hurt u.. Otherwise, whole life u will be thinking, u should have given her a chance.. Gud luck..Post relationship advice needed?
Forget her and find someone that really deserves your love and respect. It sounds like she has got some issues
Wow... She emotionally abused you to no end. If you get back with her, she's just going to keep it up. I don't think you deserve anymore of this from her.
Get a girl that'll treat you right.
Kinda funny I can give you that advice but I'm going through a similar situation and my only thought is to give her a second chance if she would comeback.
Good Luck
Then after a while, she said she realized what she did %26amp; wanted forgiveness from me. And she said I would always be her good friend. My thought is, she has done enough damage on my life, I can never pretend nothing has happened. When I tried to explain my thoughts to her. She thought I wanted to get back to her and said ';I can get back with u b/c the economy is so bad.'; nothing made sense to me from her. It is not that I don't want to forgive but I am scared if she is going to do the same thing to me again once I agree to be friend with her and establish normal contact. Deep in my thought, she isnot a bad person, but should I risk my self-eestem %26amp; self-respect again to give her a chance? And she seems to really understand she was wrong. I am just confused.Post relationship advice needed?
U just be a friend.. Give her second chance and see. If she does the same thing, then u can say gud bye to her.. It will not hurt u.. Otherwise, whole life u will be thinking, u should have given her a chance.. Gud luck..Post relationship advice needed?
Forget her and find someone that really deserves your love and respect. It sounds like she has got some issues
Wow... She emotionally abused you to no end. If you get back with her, she's just going to keep it up. I don't think you deserve anymore of this from her.
Get a girl that'll treat you right.
Kinda funny I can give you that advice but I'm going through a similar situation and my only thought is to give her a second chance if she would comeback.
Good Luck
Dating/Relationship Advice?
Let's talk about me first.. I am 14 years old, freshman, 6'1';.. I play basketball, baseball, and get straight a's... Nice to most people and I have never had a girlfriend.. Like everyone I can think of has either had a boyfriend or girlfriend but not me..
School just started and I have noticed 2 sophmores and and 2 freshman checking me out.. I just don't know how to go up to them and start a conversation.. Since I have never had a girlfriend.. That is what I need help with.. Thanks! I'll post a picture of me..
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage%26amp;friendID=166930854%26amp;albumID=430002%26amp;imageID=32433009Dating/Relationship Advice?
well your good looking =] ...I suggest if you see a girl staring at you smile back at her or even wave at her...then she will know you are interested...so she might come up and talk to you =] or even approach her and say ';hey whats up?' because then it shows you have confidence in your self girls like this so try to show it =]
School just started and I have noticed 2 sophmores and and 2 freshman checking me out.. I just don't know how to go up to them and start a conversation.. Since I have never had a girlfriend.. That is what I need help with.. Thanks! I'll post a picture of me..
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage%26amp;friendID=166930854%26amp;albumID=430002%26amp;imageID=32433009Dating/Relationship Advice?
well your good looking =] ...I suggest if you see a girl staring at you smile back at her or even wave at her...then she will know you are interested...so she might come up and talk to you =] or even approach her and say ';hey whats up?' because then it shows you have confidence in your self girls like this so try to show it =]
Need Relationship Advice? I dated this girl for 3 yrs and it was very secret!?
We had our ups and downs and we broke it off last year. She kept coming back and we tried so save the friendship. But I couldn't trust her she lied to me when we were together about who she was with and things like that. I been honest with her and been there for her. This yr has been terrible for me with job loss, car accident and sickness she banish and left me to deal with it myself. I miss her and still love her but I don't know what to do. I'm planning to move to UTah soon and I want to find out if she has moved on and tell her how I feel but she wont return my phone calls. I know I shouldn't bother with someone like her she has been unfaithful and not a good friend. But I am in love and need your help please give me advice on this matter this is my first love and i feel like Im breaking inside!!Need Relationship Advice? I dated this girl for 3 yrs and it was very secret!?
Aw, first love often sucks. Sorry to hear about your situation.
Do not trust her, do not be friends. Cut ties completely. Not what you want, but what you need to heal %26amp; find your way.Need Relationship Advice? I dated this girl for 3 yrs and it was very secret!?
id say if you don't trust her dontt bother it is not worth it and is NOT healthy . Also if she hasn't returned your phone calls don't bother. Stop calling her u r giving her the satisfactionn that u still care so she will hurt u more if you keep giving her the satisfactionn
Honestly there is only one way to get over your first love. You need to hook up with someone else. You need to avoid this person at all costs. You should avoid even thinking about her, because this will not allow you to move forward with your life. Try looking at this relationship in 3rd person, wouldn't you consider the person in your shoes pathetic?
You had a tough year and she didn't even help or stand by you. DUMP HER!! she sounds like a ***** and you deserve better! GO UTAH!!! I hear there are some hot mormon babes out there!! :)stop pimples
Aw, first love often sucks. Sorry to hear about your situation.
Do not trust her, do not be friends. Cut ties completely. Not what you want, but what you need to heal %26amp; find your way.Need Relationship Advice? I dated this girl for 3 yrs and it was very secret!?
id say if you don't trust her dontt bother it is not worth it and is NOT healthy . Also if she hasn't returned your phone calls don't bother. Stop calling her u r giving her the satisfactionn that u still care so she will hurt u more if you keep giving her the satisfactionn
Honestly there is only one way to get over your first love. You need to hook up with someone else. You need to avoid this person at all costs. You should avoid even thinking about her, because this will not allow you to move forward with your life. Try looking at this relationship in 3rd person, wouldn't you consider the person in your shoes pathetic?
You had a tough year and she didn't even help or stand by you. DUMP HER!! she sounds like a ***** and you deserve better! GO UTAH!!! I hear there are some hot mormon babes out there!! :)
Need relationship advice! HELP!!!?
I just broke up with my boyfriend today because I feel it was the right thing to do.. you tell me if I was in the wrong.
He lives in AR and I live in IL. I was visiting him for our one year anniversary and he told me that he had bought me a ring. I was planning on moving there in July and he knows that I want to marry him, I know that he wants to marry me. Anyways, The 3rd day I was there, the day after our anniversary, we got in a fight. I was looking on his computer and he had pictures(gross, nasty ones) of his ex-g/f still. I brought it up to him and I was pretty mad, but then we ended up working it all out. He forgot they were on there, and I honestly believe he did forget. I've done things like that before and he is forgetful. Ok so we made up and everything was good. He still had not proposed yet and I was beginning to worry. Well the last day I'm there comes around and still NOTHING! We ended up going out to dinner with all of his friends and then to a movie by ourselves. I was so furious at that point that I just went to sleep when we got back to his house because I realyl didn't have anything to say to him. Well then in the morning(5am) as he was driving me to the airport he asked me what was wrong, and I had told him ';That I'm going home as only your girlfriend once again.. you bought me a ring, you said you wanted to marry me before, and still I get nothing.'; Oh and by the way, I didn't get anything from him for our anniversary. Well then he said ';I just want to make sure that you trust me 100% before I ask you.'; That was because of the other night. And I ended it with I'm not moving here only being your g/f. I feel stupid telling people I'm moving to another state to be with my b/f. And then I left and told him I didn't want to talk to him. After I got off the plane, I let him know I got there safe and thanked him for everything. Oh and I got him a new dryer and I made him a pillow for our anniversary. He didn't even give me a card. Guys--I could realyl use some advice! Please help me! Am I in the wrong? Am I being stubborn? Or do you think I'm right?Need relationship advice! HELP!!!?
I know i'm not a guy but still..Your right..he's a jerk...i really really doubt he forgot those pictures were on his computer %26amp; he probably was lieing about why he didnt ask you %26amp; furthermore it takes a major prick to let you buy him something (anniversary or not) %26amp; not even give you a CARD!!! dont go back hun!Need relationship advice! HELP!!!?
That was really shitty of him. But still I don't think breaking up was the right choice! You guys were really close to making a big decision and giving up now wouldn't be right! If you do get married things will get a lot bumpier along the way but you wouldn't give up then right ? If you see a future with this guy tell him how you feel and give him a chance to make this right. If you see no future then you made a good choice and ditch that scum bag !
He lives in AR and I live in IL. I was visiting him for our one year anniversary and he told me that he had bought me a ring. I was planning on moving there in July and he knows that I want to marry him, I know that he wants to marry me. Anyways, The 3rd day I was there, the day after our anniversary, we got in a fight. I was looking on his computer and he had pictures(gross, nasty ones) of his ex-g/f still. I brought it up to him and I was pretty mad, but then we ended up working it all out. He forgot they were on there, and I honestly believe he did forget. I've done things like that before and he is forgetful. Ok so we made up and everything was good. He still had not proposed yet and I was beginning to worry. Well the last day I'm there comes around and still NOTHING! We ended up going out to dinner with all of his friends and then to a movie by ourselves. I was so furious at that point that I just went to sleep when we got back to his house because I realyl didn't have anything to say to him. Well then in the morning(5am) as he was driving me to the airport he asked me what was wrong, and I had told him ';That I'm going home as only your girlfriend once again.. you bought me a ring, you said you wanted to marry me before, and still I get nothing.'; Oh and by the way, I didn't get anything from him for our anniversary. Well then he said ';I just want to make sure that you trust me 100% before I ask you.'; That was because of the other night. And I ended it with I'm not moving here only being your g/f. I feel stupid telling people I'm moving to another state to be with my b/f. And then I left and told him I didn't want to talk to him. After I got off the plane, I let him know I got there safe and thanked him for everything. Oh and I got him a new dryer and I made him a pillow for our anniversary. He didn't even give me a card. Guys--I could realyl use some advice! Please help me! Am I in the wrong? Am I being stubborn? Or do you think I'm right?Need relationship advice! HELP!!!?
I know i'm not a guy but still..Your right..he's a jerk...i really really doubt he forgot those pictures were on his computer %26amp; he probably was lieing about why he didnt ask you %26amp; furthermore it takes a major prick to let you buy him something (anniversary or not) %26amp; not even give you a CARD!!! dont go back hun!Need relationship advice! HELP!!!?
That was really shitty of him. But still I don't think breaking up was the right choice! You guys were really close to making a big decision and giving up now wouldn't be right! If you do get married things will get a lot bumpier along the way but you wouldn't give up then right ? If you see a future with this guy tell him how you feel and give him a chance to make this right. If you see no future then you made a good choice and ditch that scum bag !
Need relationship advice?
This is going to be a long story...so i hope you stick around to read it.
First of all, i have been dating this buy for 3 and a half years. He is 20, and i am 19. His name is Josh. We live together and have been living together for over a year.
For the last approx. 8 moths, things have changed, and not for the better. He seemed to stop loving me. He would refuse to have conversations with me, saying ';i dunno'; or ignoring me completly. He would refuse to kiss me back or even say i love you. Never wanted to hug.
I had tried so many times to fix things, bringing up my concerns just o have him say that I am wrong or ignore me while i cry myself to sleep.
I began a new job a few moths ago, and have made a lot of friends, including one that has gotten very close to me. His name is Matt. He and I have been talking, and I am having very strong feelings for him. He is also having them for me.
About two weeks ago, i gave up on trying to fix my current relationship. I drifted away, and it took Josh a while to notice anything was wrong, and when he did he broke down.
He cried, and begged me to stay. I told him that I still love him, but its not that easy. I have felt like a piece of furniture for the last 8 months...I told him that i love him, but did not know if i was in love with him anymore...or if i ever could be again. I also told him about Matt.
At first, he blaimed himself, saying that he was being dumb, and he cant see how he could have done that. He cried for days. And then he turned on me. He started saying that I went out looking for someone and that this is all my fault. He also went to the doctor and got some blood work done. The blood work came back that he has had mono for the last 6 moths, and it is now a healed infection. He says the mono made him treat me like he did. That he was too tired from the mono to care...
Matt wants me to leave, and I want to leave...but i am afraid.
There are even more complications. Josh has bought me so many things...a tv, a ps3, a car...he has spent so much money one me and he wont let me forget it. He constantly brings it up, acting like I owe him and have to stay.
I want to be happy. He does not understand that I would rather give it all back if it could mean happiness for me.
The other day josh and I got into a fight early in the morning and I wanted to leave...he would not let me. He pushed me back and blocked the door. I told him i needed to get out to think and he said i couldnt take my car...and it was pouring but i agreed to walk. Eventually he let me go, and take my car...but he was not happy. He told me to call him later. I agreed.
After about 1.5 hours i got a horrible feeling in my stomach. I text him and no answer...i called him a few times and no answer...i paniced.
I called his best friend, who went over to our apt to check on him. He had been talking about hurting himself for the last few weeks and that he couldnt live without me. He wouldnt answer the door or his best friends phone calls, or mine. I called over 20 times.
When we opened the door, he wasnt there. His car was still parked outside, but he was gone. I was so afraid. I called the police and they sent someone over. I called everyone i knew, all of his family. They did not know where he was.
As i was wrapping up things with the police, we got a call from Joshs mom. She said he was with his brother-in-law and that he told her not to tell me that he was ok, or where he was....WTF. Needless to say, the cop, me and Josh's best friend were pissed. It had been 4 hours of us calling and looking for him and he only answered for his mom.
I know that i should follow my heart. If you feel like something is wrong, then there is something wrong...But i dont know what i feel. I feel like Josh and I are just friends, and Matt and I are more, and can be more. I am so afraid of making the wrong choice...
I have no idea what to do. Can someone please help meNeed relationship advice?
well...
you can't really ask random people on yahoo answers.. there are some choices you have to make yourself.
but as for what josh keeps saying about buying you stuff.. just give them back. you can't buy a relationship.. and just to let you know, if you're 'in love' with both guys, then you're obviously not in love with either of them...
and you can't really make a wrong choice in this situation..
they both seem like great guys who really care about you..
but good luck.Need relationship advice?
I have been on Josh's side of this story and I can tell you first hand that you need to get out of this relationship.
Josh has problems that he needs to work out and granted at one time you did have a good relationship, it is not one now. At this point things will never be the same and you have also started to pull away because you know this isn't what you want.
The only thing you can do besides leaving, is to talk to his parents and his friends and tell them your concerns. You need to tell Josh that he needs to get help and that the both of you need to part ways until he gets better. Chances are if he does get help, his life will already be moving in a different direction as yours and it will just be one more chapter in your book of life.
Trust me, Josh needs to get help and you need to move on with your life because you already have. Don't let someone elses sickness become your own.
Wow...that's a tough situation. My advice is to leave Josh, no matter what he says to you. It is wrong of him to guilt you into staying with him. Gifts are gifts...and though they are nice gifts, that is not a reason for you to stay with him. He was the one who chose to give you those gifts...and now they belong to you.
He seems to be doing everything he can to get you to stay, and it's really unfair to you. You need to worry about you...and ONLY you. You can't worry that he's going to harm himself (which is a terrible thing for him to put on you!!!) or that he paid for so many nice things for you while you were together.
If he does anything to hurt himself, remember that it's NOT your fault. He is the one who will be choosing to do so...and he can't keep you out of guilt. You will never be happy with someone who pretty much forces you to stay with him! I hope you can get out of the lease with him, and move elsewhere...and start dating Matt. Even if it doesn't work out with Matt, Josh sounds like a toxic person to be with. You need to completely cut him out of your life. You also should suggest he get therapy b/c threatening to hurt himself if you end things is a HUGE cry for help!!!
You can't fix someone. You know that. It's unfortunate that things have gone the way they have, but you already know what you want, and it is not a relationship with Josh. He needs professional help. And his mother, as co-conspirator, is not doing him any favors.
Move out. Even if things don't work out with Matt ...and they may not ... it doesn't sound like the relationship you have with Josh is a healthy one any longer.
Hiya,
I think you should leave, you dont really love your man anymore it seem. go back and live with your mum or a friend for at least a month, not seeing anyone. to get your head right. then if u wanna get back with your man or see the new man at work then cool.
you need time away from both of them to sort your head out. its not fair on your man, u need to be able to look him straight in the face and say im willing to work on this or its over too much hurt has been done.
then the new man at work, thats tricky coz hes properbly not that great hes just been a souce of comfort and attraction when your low, so if after about a month hes willing to wait for you to sort your head out and you still like him and have sorted out your man then cool, go for it. you shouldnt leave your man for him, you should leave cause you dont want to be with him any more.
i know a LOT about this, i was in the same position about 2 years ago, incase your wondering. i left my man of 5 years, went with the work man, he just liked the chase didnt want me when he could have me. now im with a great man. leaving my ex was the best thing i ever did, i was so unhappy with him and i learnt a lot about myself too. its very very hard tho, so take your time out and sort your head out and right a list of pros and cons. hope this helps x
leave him
he is abusive and you need to get away
you dont want to be with him so why be with him
leave if thats going to make you happy
he is trying to make you feel bad so you will stay
Are you willing to put up with this and more of this type of behavior along the road in this relationship you have with Josh? Ask yourself that question and it should allow you to understand that the relationship is not only dead, but its not healthy. In order for it to be a happy and healthy relationship, both parties must be happy. You must move out and move on without looking back, but if you feel like you can stay longer, than stay and try to continue to work things out (although from what I read, there really isnt any improvement). Either way, I wish you the best of luck.
Go. By holding the gifts he gave you over your head and physically trying to keep you from leaving, Josh is showing signs of being dangerously controlling. He's also refusing to take responsibility for his part in the relationship's deterioration, which means he's not going to be able to work on those problems and fix things with you even if you do decide to stay. Give him his stuff back if that's what it takes to get him to understand that you're serious, but find a place to stay (preferably not Matt's) and end things before they spiral even further out of control.
Leave Josh. He screwed up by ignoring you. Move on.
If he gives you crap - leave the stuff he gave you. But a gift is a gift and should come without strings attached. I am always careful about accepting gifts from guys. I don't want to feel like I owe them anything later.
I've been in your situation. I moved in with a guy who I thought I was totally in love with. But after living together for a while, we just didn't have the same relationship. You might not be able to see this, but at your age, you are changing into a completely different person than you were in high school. So is he. It is part of growing up. You both start finding new interests and new friends-and you will be attracted to other guys. It seems like suddenly you are going in opposite directions. But you are so used to being in this relationship, that you keep trying to make it work. Neither of you are the same person you were when you first got together.
This is where you have to be strong. The two of you need some time apart to sort out your feelings. It is a tough thing to do because you share an apartment and have this long history together, but you have to find a way to do it. You need to think about what your feelings are right now, not what they were 6 months ago. You need to think about your priorities, and what you want your life to be like. You may not want to break up with him, but it may be the best choice for both of you. In the future, you'll realize that you needed this experience to be able to grow as a person. And you'll find that each new relationship is better than the last one because of the things you've learned.
It seems like Josh has a few issues. You seem to like Matt so now your more motivated to leave Josh. If Matt wasn't in the picture then you would be focused on Josh. My advise....Matt's just a guy, put him on the back burner until you work out your situation with Josh. If you stay with Josh or not...you should work it out without Matt in the picture. I don't think this whole relationship is just one sided. Look nobody on here really knows the truth. As I said... work out your situation with Josh because for right now that is who your involved with. Keep close friends with Matt. Right now...Matt has bad timing.
First of all, i have been dating this buy for 3 and a half years. He is 20, and i am 19. His name is Josh. We live together and have been living together for over a year.
For the last approx. 8 moths, things have changed, and not for the better. He seemed to stop loving me. He would refuse to have conversations with me, saying ';i dunno'; or ignoring me completly. He would refuse to kiss me back or even say i love you. Never wanted to hug.
I had tried so many times to fix things, bringing up my concerns just o have him say that I am wrong or ignore me while i cry myself to sleep.
I began a new job a few moths ago, and have made a lot of friends, including one that has gotten very close to me. His name is Matt. He and I have been talking, and I am having very strong feelings for him. He is also having them for me.
About two weeks ago, i gave up on trying to fix my current relationship. I drifted away, and it took Josh a while to notice anything was wrong, and when he did he broke down.
He cried, and begged me to stay. I told him that I still love him, but its not that easy. I have felt like a piece of furniture for the last 8 months...I told him that i love him, but did not know if i was in love with him anymore...or if i ever could be again. I also told him about Matt.
At first, he blaimed himself, saying that he was being dumb, and he cant see how he could have done that. He cried for days. And then he turned on me. He started saying that I went out looking for someone and that this is all my fault. He also went to the doctor and got some blood work done. The blood work came back that he has had mono for the last 6 moths, and it is now a healed infection. He says the mono made him treat me like he did. That he was too tired from the mono to care...
Matt wants me to leave, and I want to leave...but i am afraid.
There are even more complications. Josh has bought me so many things...a tv, a ps3, a car...he has spent so much money one me and he wont let me forget it. He constantly brings it up, acting like I owe him and have to stay.
I want to be happy. He does not understand that I would rather give it all back if it could mean happiness for me.
The other day josh and I got into a fight early in the morning and I wanted to leave...he would not let me. He pushed me back and blocked the door. I told him i needed to get out to think and he said i couldnt take my car...and it was pouring but i agreed to walk. Eventually he let me go, and take my car...but he was not happy. He told me to call him later. I agreed.
After about 1.5 hours i got a horrible feeling in my stomach. I text him and no answer...i called him a few times and no answer...i paniced.
I called his best friend, who went over to our apt to check on him. He had been talking about hurting himself for the last few weeks and that he couldnt live without me. He wouldnt answer the door or his best friends phone calls, or mine. I called over 20 times.
When we opened the door, he wasnt there. His car was still parked outside, but he was gone. I was so afraid. I called the police and they sent someone over. I called everyone i knew, all of his family. They did not know where he was.
As i was wrapping up things with the police, we got a call from Joshs mom. She said he was with his brother-in-law and that he told her not to tell me that he was ok, or where he was....WTF. Needless to say, the cop, me and Josh's best friend were pissed. It had been 4 hours of us calling and looking for him and he only answered for his mom.
I know that i should follow my heart. If you feel like something is wrong, then there is something wrong...But i dont know what i feel. I feel like Josh and I are just friends, and Matt and I are more, and can be more. I am so afraid of making the wrong choice...
I have no idea what to do. Can someone please help meNeed relationship advice?
well...
you can't really ask random people on yahoo answers.. there are some choices you have to make yourself.
but as for what josh keeps saying about buying you stuff.. just give them back. you can't buy a relationship.. and just to let you know, if you're 'in love' with both guys, then you're obviously not in love with either of them...
and you can't really make a wrong choice in this situation..
they both seem like great guys who really care about you..
but good luck.Need relationship advice?
I have been on Josh's side of this story and I can tell you first hand that you need to get out of this relationship.
Josh has problems that he needs to work out and granted at one time you did have a good relationship, it is not one now. At this point things will never be the same and you have also started to pull away because you know this isn't what you want.
The only thing you can do besides leaving, is to talk to his parents and his friends and tell them your concerns. You need to tell Josh that he needs to get help and that the both of you need to part ways until he gets better. Chances are if he does get help, his life will already be moving in a different direction as yours and it will just be one more chapter in your book of life.
Trust me, Josh needs to get help and you need to move on with your life because you already have. Don't let someone elses sickness become your own.
Wow...that's a tough situation. My advice is to leave Josh, no matter what he says to you. It is wrong of him to guilt you into staying with him. Gifts are gifts...and though they are nice gifts, that is not a reason for you to stay with him. He was the one who chose to give you those gifts...and now they belong to you.
He seems to be doing everything he can to get you to stay, and it's really unfair to you. You need to worry about you...and ONLY you. You can't worry that he's going to harm himself (which is a terrible thing for him to put on you!!!) or that he paid for so many nice things for you while you were together.
If he does anything to hurt himself, remember that it's NOT your fault. He is the one who will be choosing to do so...and he can't keep you out of guilt. You will never be happy with someone who pretty much forces you to stay with him! I hope you can get out of the lease with him, and move elsewhere...and start dating Matt. Even if it doesn't work out with Matt, Josh sounds like a toxic person to be with. You need to completely cut him out of your life. You also should suggest he get therapy b/c threatening to hurt himself if you end things is a HUGE cry for help!!!
You can't fix someone. You know that. It's unfortunate that things have gone the way they have, but you already know what you want, and it is not a relationship with Josh. He needs professional help. And his mother, as co-conspirator, is not doing him any favors.
Move out. Even if things don't work out with Matt ...and they may not ... it doesn't sound like the relationship you have with Josh is a healthy one any longer.
Hiya,
I think you should leave, you dont really love your man anymore it seem. go back and live with your mum or a friend for at least a month, not seeing anyone. to get your head right. then if u wanna get back with your man or see the new man at work then cool.
you need time away from both of them to sort your head out. its not fair on your man, u need to be able to look him straight in the face and say im willing to work on this or its over too much hurt has been done.
then the new man at work, thats tricky coz hes properbly not that great hes just been a souce of comfort and attraction when your low, so if after about a month hes willing to wait for you to sort your head out and you still like him and have sorted out your man then cool, go for it. you shouldnt leave your man for him, you should leave cause you dont want to be with him any more.
i know a LOT about this, i was in the same position about 2 years ago, incase your wondering. i left my man of 5 years, went with the work man, he just liked the chase didnt want me when he could have me. now im with a great man. leaving my ex was the best thing i ever did, i was so unhappy with him and i learnt a lot about myself too. its very very hard tho, so take your time out and sort your head out and right a list of pros and cons. hope this helps x
leave him
he is abusive and you need to get away
you dont want to be with him so why be with him
leave if thats going to make you happy
he is trying to make you feel bad so you will stay
Are you willing to put up with this and more of this type of behavior along the road in this relationship you have with Josh? Ask yourself that question and it should allow you to understand that the relationship is not only dead, but its not healthy. In order for it to be a happy and healthy relationship, both parties must be happy. You must move out and move on without looking back, but if you feel like you can stay longer, than stay and try to continue to work things out (although from what I read, there really isnt any improvement). Either way, I wish you the best of luck.
Go. By holding the gifts he gave you over your head and physically trying to keep you from leaving, Josh is showing signs of being dangerously controlling. He's also refusing to take responsibility for his part in the relationship's deterioration, which means he's not going to be able to work on those problems and fix things with you even if you do decide to stay. Give him his stuff back if that's what it takes to get him to understand that you're serious, but find a place to stay (preferably not Matt's) and end things before they spiral even further out of control.
Leave Josh. He screwed up by ignoring you. Move on.
If he gives you crap - leave the stuff he gave you. But a gift is a gift and should come without strings attached. I am always careful about accepting gifts from guys. I don't want to feel like I owe them anything later.
I've been in your situation. I moved in with a guy who I thought I was totally in love with. But after living together for a while, we just didn't have the same relationship. You might not be able to see this, but at your age, you are changing into a completely different person than you were in high school. So is he. It is part of growing up. You both start finding new interests and new friends-and you will be attracted to other guys. It seems like suddenly you are going in opposite directions. But you are so used to being in this relationship, that you keep trying to make it work. Neither of you are the same person you were when you first got together.
This is where you have to be strong. The two of you need some time apart to sort out your feelings. It is a tough thing to do because you share an apartment and have this long history together, but you have to find a way to do it. You need to think about what your feelings are right now, not what they were 6 months ago. You need to think about your priorities, and what you want your life to be like. You may not want to break up with him, but it may be the best choice for both of you. In the future, you'll realize that you needed this experience to be able to grow as a person. And you'll find that each new relationship is better than the last one because of the things you've learned.
It seems like Josh has a few issues. You seem to like Matt so now your more motivated to leave Josh. If Matt wasn't in the picture then you would be focused on Josh. My advise....Matt's just a guy, put him on the back burner until you work out your situation with Josh. If you stay with Josh or not...you should work it out without Matt in the picture. I don't think this whole relationship is just one sided. Look nobody on here really knows the truth. As I said... work out your situation with Josh because for right now that is who your involved with. Keep close friends with Matt. Right now...Matt has bad timing.
I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
Ok so I have this friend who I met and we hit it off great at first there was no way I would hook up with him, he was not my type at all. After a few weeks of him texting me non-stop we started getting closer and we have been having a sexual relationship. We both are somewhat unsure if we would call ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend and he is the type to hide his feelings. So far he has taken me out to a movie, spent a weekend away from where we live together,and took me out to a nice restaurant. We got into an argument which he called it quits but then 2 days latter he is apologizing and wanting to talk and make up. Now he has invited me to his friends place for cook outs and started hanging out with my kids and playing with them, he took them to the park and spent a good amount of time with them a few weekends ago when we were all at a friends house for dinner.
Thing is he is in his early 20's and i am in my late 20's, neither of us really know what to call our relationship he says he just lets things naturally happen, but I feel like I need answers. Does this seem like a possible relationship? I do know he has talked to his friends and family about me and personally I do not believe he has had a real relationship before. What is he waiting on? am I just wasting my time or should I just be a bit more patient?I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
Does this seem like a possible relationship?
I don't think so because women became aged faster than men.
soon he will be in the height of his youth and you will be old like his mother beside him
don't get annoyed with me but i try to give you advice.I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
There is definitely something there. I think sometimes, women too often get too preoccupied with titles and labels. What you're describing sounds like a relationship to me, and a pretty good one, so you shouldn't really pressure him to call it that. Especially if this is one of his first real relationships, he'll get there. :)
No, this is not a relationship, forget it. The fact that you are even asking the question '; is this a possible relationship?'; means that is not. I only briefly read what you wrote an I spotted the words ';we got into an argument'; that immediately spells doom. Just forget it. You dated a bit it didn't work out, just go back to your lives.
I was faced with the same problem recently; but I solved it in a very easy AND INEXPENSIVE WAY!!!!!!
I have been married twice and the only way I was able to do this was by doing a little ';pregnancy scare.';
BEST WISHES!
If he is involved with your kids then he is probably considering you to be his girlfriend. Although I suppose he could be keeping up the appearance of 'boyfriend' to continue the sexual relationship, but it seems that he wouldn't put this much effort into it if he weren't serious about you. Is he a nice guy? Good person? Or does he have kind of a jerky nature? If he is a decent person, then I would go ahead and assume that he is not using you.
It seems that the two of you could definitely have a relationship if he would just admit his feelings. He wants to take things slow in that regard, so if you care for him you will be patient. He is young so the possibility of having met 'the one' (for lack of better terminology) is probably a little frightening for him.
If he plays games with you, ditch him, but if he seems sincere and isn't seeing anyone else, and is good with your children, and you want the relationship to evolve, then keep seeing him.
It doesn't seem to have the makings of a casual sex relationship.
Thing is he is in his early 20's and i am in my late 20's, neither of us really know what to call our relationship he says he just lets things naturally happen, but I feel like I need answers. Does this seem like a possible relationship? I do know he has talked to his friends and family about me and personally I do not believe he has had a real relationship before. What is he waiting on? am I just wasting my time or should I just be a bit more patient?I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
Does this seem like a possible relationship?
I don't think so because women became aged faster than men.
soon he will be in the height of his youth and you will be old like his mother beside him
don't get annoyed with me but i try to give you advice.I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
There is definitely something there. I think sometimes, women too often get too preoccupied with titles and labels. What you're describing sounds like a relationship to me, and a pretty good one, so you shouldn't really pressure him to call it that. Especially if this is one of his first real relationships, he'll get there. :)
No, this is not a relationship, forget it. The fact that you are even asking the question '; is this a possible relationship?'; means that is not. I only briefly read what you wrote an I spotted the words ';we got into an argument'; that immediately spells doom. Just forget it. You dated a bit it didn't work out, just go back to your lives.
I was faced with the same problem recently; but I solved it in a very easy AND INEXPENSIVE WAY!!!!!!
I have been married twice and the only way I was able to do this was by doing a little ';pregnancy scare.';
BEST WISHES!
If he is involved with your kids then he is probably considering you to be his girlfriend. Although I suppose he could be keeping up the appearance of 'boyfriend' to continue the sexual relationship, but it seems that he wouldn't put this much effort into it if he weren't serious about you. Is he a nice guy? Good person? Or does he have kind of a jerky nature? If he is a decent person, then I would go ahead and assume that he is not using you.
It seems that the two of you could definitely have a relationship if he would just admit his feelings. He wants to take things slow in that regard, so if you care for him you will be patient. He is young so the possibility of having met 'the one' (for lack of better terminology) is probably a little frightening for him.
If he plays games with you, ditch him, but if he seems sincere and isn't seeing anyone else, and is good with your children, and you want the relationship to evolve, then keep seeing him.
It doesn't seem to have the makings of a casual sex relationship.
Christian relationship Advice!!?
My recent boyfriend and I decided to call it quits after a recent conversation. I asked where he thought we stood and he said he did not know. He's divorced and has been for about 2 years now. He claims he would not go back to his ex-wife but I asked him if she were saved would he go back to her and he said yes. I asked him if he was over his divorce and he said no. I did not have a problem with this per se. I just wish he would have considered these things before he asked me out. Because he said he would go back to her if she were saved this would mean I'd be out of the picture. So I asked him if he was filling a void and he said he didn't know how to answer this question. His ex is engaged to marry someone else. Also when we met I asked him if he was over her and he said he did not want to go back to her but this came out recently. Anyway any insight --anyone been through this. I've been crying over this. It hurt more than I thought it wouldChristian relationship Advice!!?
He's not over her. It sounds like she might always be in the back of his mind. You deserve to be somebody's #1, not a replacement. Break it off and find someone who appreciates you and loves you.Christian relationship Advice!!?
Are you satisfied with being the second choice?
The answer to that should guide your way.
Ditch him.
His attitude demonstrates quite clearly that he doesn't value people for their own values, but only for their adherance to his own twisted ideals.
It demonstrates in no uncertain terms that he does not value you as a person.... as an individual.
People coming out of divorces, especially if they didn't want the divorce are screwed up and it takes time to get back to reality. At least he's being straightforward with you. You should probably let him go
If it's a recent engagement, maybe your guy is just feeling bad. You know, wondering what could have been.
He obviously isn't over his ex and it was wrong of him to ask you out when he still had all this emotional baggage from his previous relationship. Its easy to say cut your loses, but much harder to do i know, but this man isn't worth your tears. Find someone who wants the commitment and that will treat you in the way you deserve. He also doesn't seem particularly sound on the religous front if he can't even treat you with the respect you deserve...steer clear of that one and remember there are loads of great guys out there...so go meet them!
I am sorry it has to come to this. Clearly your boyfriend is very confused about the whole thing. Maybe it is a good advice that you should have a break.
I wonder why he wasn't over her. I wonder what was the reason behind the divorce. Maybe it was nothing to do with the religion difference.
I know you are hurting, and I really feel for you. With what you said about his ex getting married, that makes me think even if he were over her, this would set off some emotional feelings that he needs to deal with.
I'm not sure that God is shutting this door just yet, but it sounds like he needs time and prayer in order to see more clearly the road ahead. If it is a door shutting, on this relationship, there will be another opening. Stay strong and in the word. God listens and is the perfect comforter. I'm sorry I can't say anything to take your pain away.
dont put too much hope on him because he still loves his ex-wife, he just doesn't wanna admit it
Move on, honey. He needs to work out his own issues. And God will provide you with someone who will devote the PROPER amount of emotion and affection to YOU and you alone. Do not worry.
I know it's hard, but I really do think you should move on, and let him figure his heart out. It's between him and God, and perhaps his ex.
God Bless.
It seems that he is telling you the truth... don't force the realtionship. If it is meant to be it will be if it is not then it won't... but either way life will go on. Maybe he just needs time. Ask him if he loves you and sees a future with you. If hw says no, then you've got your answer fair and square. If he says I don't know... give him space to figure things out and go on with your life in the meantime! Don't wait around for him by any means... it's not fair to you... you will only become more attached to a ambiguous situation.
Pray for strength to move on and peace with whatever decision you make!
.
Sweetie, you don't need Christian advice on this. Just human. Let him go, he's not ready for a new relationship yet. It doesn't seem to be about you, you know?
You poor thing! You are definitely doing the right thing ending it. You deserve to be with someone who won't compare you or put you second to any other woman. It sounds as though he has a lot of guilt over his divorce. Even if she marries someone else, you shouldn't consider getting back together with him. He's hurt you enough.
While I don't believe that relationships are intended to be perfect, I do think that you deserve to be with some one who recognizes that what you have is the best relationship he's been in. I think it is dishonest to yourself and to what a true relationship is to settle for something less than this. He should have considered these things before he asked you out. If he was being a good Christian, but it's possible that he wasn't fully aware of what level of emotional intimacy a good relationship should entail. God bless.
He's not over her. It sounds like she might always be in the back of his mind. You deserve to be somebody's #1, not a replacement. Break it off and find someone who appreciates you and loves you.Christian relationship Advice!!?
Are you satisfied with being the second choice?
The answer to that should guide your way.
Ditch him.
His attitude demonstrates quite clearly that he doesn't value people for their own values, but only for their adherance to his own twisted ideals.
It demonstrates in no uncertain terms that he does not value you as a person.... as an individual.
People coming out of divorces, especially if they didn't want the divorce are screwed up and it takes time to get back to reality. At least he's being straightforward with you. You should probably let him go
If it's a recent engagement, maybe your guy is just feeling bad. You know, wondering what could have been.
He obviously isn't over his ex and it was wrong of him to ask you out when he still had all this emotional baggage from his previous relationship. Its easy to say cut your loses, but much harder to do i know, but this man isn't worth your tears. Find someone who wants the commitment and that will treat you in the way you deserve. He also doesn't seem particularly sound on the religous front if he can't even treat you with the respect you deserve...steer clear of that one and remember there are loads of great guys out there...so go meet them!
I am sorry it has to come to this. Clearly your boyfriend is very confused about the whole thing. Maybe it is a good advice that you should have a break.
I wonder why he wasn't over her. I wonder what was the reason behind the divorce. Maybe it was nothing to do with the religion difference.
I know you are hurting, and I really feel for you. With what you said about his ex getting married, that makes me think even if he were over her, this would set off some emotional feelings that he needs to deal with.
I'm not sure that God is shutting this door just yet, but it sounds like he needs time and prayer in order to see more clearly the road ahead. If it is a door shutting, on this relationship, there will be another opening. Stay strong and in the word. God listens and is the perfect comforter. I'm sorry I can't say anything to take your pain away.
dont put too much hope on him because he still loves his ex-wife, he just doesn't wanna admit it
Move on, honey. He needs to work out his own issues. And God will provide you with someone who will devote the PROPER amount of emotion and affection to YOU and you alone. Do not worry.
I know it's hard, but I really do think you should move on, and let him figure his heart out. It's between him and God, and perhaps his ex.
God Bless.
It seems that he is telling you the truth... don't force the realtionship. If it is meant to be it will be if it is not then it won't... but either way life will go on. Maybe he just needs time. Ask him if he loves you and sees a future with you. If hw says no, then you've got your answer fair and square. If he says I don't know... give him space to figure things out and go on with your life in the meantime! Don't wait around for him by any means... it's not fair to you... you will only become more attached to a ambiguous situation.
Pray for strength to move on and peace with whatever decision you make!
.
Sweetie, you don't need Christian advice on this. Just human. Let him go, he's not ready for a new relationship yet. It doesn't seem to be about you, you know?
You poor thing! You are definitely doing the right thing ending it. You deserve to be with someone who won't compare you or put you second to any other woman. It sounds as though he has a lot of guilt over his divorce. Even if she marries someone else, you shouldn't consider getting back together with him. He's hurt you enough.
While I don't believe that relationships are intended to be perfect, I do think that you deserve to be with some one who recognizes that what you have is the best relationship he's been in. I think it is dishonest to yourself and to what a true relationship is to settle for something less than this. He should have considered these things before he asked you out. If he was being a good Christian, but it's possible that he wasn't fully aware of what level of emotional intimacy a good relationship should entail. God bless.
*help* relationship advice?
Hi all,
I really need some help figuring out my situation...I need good unbiased advice, from non-family or friends.
OK so I recently became a mother for the 1st time and 2 weeks after my child was born his father decided to tell me that he was ';in-love with his ex';.
Now this came @ a shock to me and I was silent for a few days and cried my eyes out. I never knew I would react like this @ all I thought to myself if we split I could handle it. I decided to take myself and my child 50 miles from where me and him was living and to go spend time at my family home, with my loved ones.
I received a text message from him at this point which sounded somewhat regretful as I sent him one along the lines of it's me and my child against the world.
I spent a few days away and had to go back to see the health visitor...by this point I had got over the initial shock and this turned into wanting answers and I asked him why he waited so long to tell me and if he didn't want to be with me why lead me on. He said to me that these feelings just came back suddenly. I asked for the reasons as to why he didn't want to be with me he had no answer.
My initial questioning of the situation turned into anger as I wasn't getting any answers as to why and all he could say was he made his decision and that was his reason for screwing up the relationship.
Anyways I was curious as to what she looked like and found her last name on his facebook page in his friends list (crazy I know) I managed to find a pic of her and I was shocked to see how ugly and manly this girl was...I just couldn't understand the attraction he had 4 her in the 1st place...I know looks aint everything but if u saw her you would question his sexuality.
He got me so made one day that I told him I saw her pic and I told him that she was ugly and manly and basically called him gay...I wanted 2 hurt him like he hurt me. His reply 2 my statement was ';I haven't seen her done up'; correct me if i'm wrong but if your in a relationship with someone and even if you knew that they wasn't the most attractive person, wouldn't you defend them regardless?
So after the anger came the calm on my side we started to get along and he told me he wanted to hug me, so I allowed him to and he started to cry...he gave me signs of him being regretful of his actions but I wasn't prepared to put myself out their to get hurt again. A day passed with us getting along and I think I heard him say ';I love you' to her now after the events the day before I was mad and told him I heard him say I love you to her and he said ';what's the difference between saying it and feeling it'; I flipped and felt so disrespected as he had only left me a week or so ago...he had shown signs of moving on from me in this week but this was the last straw.
I did more things out of anger...no I look back and think why, but people can push you 2 do crazy things.
So we started to get on again as I am able to forgive his wrong doings so quickly (I think that's because we have a child together).
We hug numerous times over the next few days and at this point the way he hugs me is like his holding on for dear life...he squeezes me tightly and at this time he also gets an erection every time we have this physical contact..which I find a little odd as you said you want to be with someone else...infact he said he's in-love with this person (why would you allow your self to get an erection if your in love with someone else?)
I'm going to fast forwards to what happened this week...I'm now living back at my family home...he's moved to the city aswell and he comes and gets his son to spend sometime eith him when he has his days off.
I wrote him a letter expressing my feelings and I asked him to be honest with me as I he owes me that much...
Anyways I read the letter to him when he brought our child back and he said he had to go and he will write me a reply.
So the following day he read his reply...it basically said what he believes is love and it's about finding a companion...etc and he said he needs to figure out the feelings he left unresolved for his ex...etc and things about us.
I then went onto ask him questions and he told me that some days he wants to be with me more than he wants to be with her and it changes on a daily basis. I also asked him if he loves her and he said that you can't just get back with someone after time apart and love them (then why did he do all this?).
He had to go to work and time was cutting short and I drove him a good 3 miles to a bus stop that would allow him enough time to get to work. When I was driving him he spilled he let me in a little more and he said he thinks he wants to be with me...I ignored him as he know where I stand if I take him back he has to be sure he wants and needs me and has dealt with his issue regarding the ex.
I forgot to mention a significant event...I had to go back 2 the city we where living together in and the baby wasn't w*help* relationship advice?
Ok he either wants to be with you or he doesn't. Stop writing him notes and move on. Things will never resolve themselves until you make a clean break from him, child or no child. Stick to your convictions and break free of this immature relationship. Devote your time and energy with your child as he is the most important thing right now. This guy doesn't know what he wants so quit doing things for him and stay away, quit contacting him. He will never figure out what he wants until you are done!
I really need some help figuring out my situation...I need good unbiased advice, from non-family or friends.
OK so I recently became a mother for the 1st time and 2 weeks after my child was born his father decided to tell me that he was ';in-love with his ex';.
Now this came @ a shock to me and I was silent for a few days and cried my eyes out. I never knew I would react like this @ all I thought to myself if we split I could handle it. I decided to take myself and my child 50 miles from where me and him was living and to go spend time at my family home, with my loved ones.
I received a text message from him at this point which sounded somewhat regretful as I sent him one along the lines of it's me and my child against the world.
I spent a few days away and had to go back to see the health visitor...by this point I had got over the initial shock and this turned into wanting answers and I asked him why he waited so long to tell me and if he didn't want to be with me why lead me on. He said to me that these feelings just came back suddenly. I asked for the reasons as to why he didn't want to be with me he had no answer.
My initial questioning of the situation turned into anger as I wasn't getting any answers as to why and all he could say was he made his decision and that was his reason for screwing up the relationship.
Anyways I was curious as to what she looked like and found her last name on his facebook page in his friends list (crazy I know) I managed to find a pic of her and I was shocked to see how ugly and manly this girl was...I just couldn't understand the attraction he had 4 her in the 1st place...I know looks aint everything but if u saw her you would question his sexuality.
He got me so made one day that I told him I saw her pic and I told him that she was ugly and manly and basically called him gay...I wanted 2 hurt him like he hurt me. His reply 2 my statement was ';I haven't seen her done up'; correct me if i'm wrong but if your in a relationship with someone and even if you knew that they wasn't the most attractive person, wouldn't you defend them regardless?
So after the anger came the calm on my side we started to get along and he told me he wanted to hug me, so I allowed him to and he started to cry...he gave me signs of him being regretful of his actions but I wasn't prepared to put myself out their to get hurt again. A day passed with us getting along and I think I heard him say ';I love you' to her now after the events the day before I was mad and told him I heard him say I love you to her and he said ';what's the difference between saying it and feeling it'; I flipped and felt so disrespected as he had only left me a week or so ago...he had shown signs of moving on from me in this week but this was the last straw.
I did more things out of anger...no I look back and think why, but people can push you 2 do crazy things.
So we started to get on again as I am able to forgive his wrong doings so quickly (I think that's because we have a child together).
We hug numerous times over the next few days and at this point the way he hugs me is like his holding on for dear life...he squeezes me tightly and at this time he also gets an erection every time we have this physical contact..which I find a little odd as you said you want to be with someone else...infact he said he's in-love with this person (why would you allow your self to get an erection if your in love with someone else?)
I'm going to fast forwards to what happened this week...I'm now living back at my family home...he's moved to the city aswell and he comes and gets his son to spend sometime eith him when he has his days off.
I wrote him a letter expressing my feelings and I asked him to be honest with me as I he owes me that much...
Anyways I read the letter to him when he brought our child back and he said he had to go and he will write me a reply.
So the following day he read his reply...it basically said what he believes is love and it's about finding a companion...etc and he said he needs to figure out the feelings he left unresolved for his ex...etc and things about us.
I then went onto ask him questions and he told me that some days he wants to be with me more than he wants to be with her and it changes on a daily basis. I also asked him if he loves her and he said that you can't just get back with someone after time apart and love them (then why did he do all this?).
He had to go to work and time was cutting short and I drove him a good 3 miles to a bus stop that would allow him enough time to get to work. When I was driving him he spilled he let me in a little more and he said he thinks he wants to be with me...I ignored him as he know where I stand if I take him back he has to be sure he wants and needs me and has dealt with his issue regarding the ex.
I forgot to mention a significant event...I had to go back 2 the city we where living together in and the baby wasn't w*help* relationship advice?
Ok he either wants to be with you or he doesn't. Stop writing him notes and move on. Things will never resolve themselves until you make a clean break from him, child or no child. Stick to your convictions and break free of this immature relationship. Devote your time and energy with your child as he is the most important thing right now. This guy doesn't know what he wants so quit doing things for him and stay away, quit contacting him. He will never figure out what he wants until you are done!
More relationship advice please....?
My bf and I have been fighting a lot lately. He claims that he doesn't want to break up, but of course neither of us want to be unhappy. We've been together about 8 months now, and I have a child from a previous relationship. This is his first relationship where a child has been involved, so I know it's difficult for him. He says that maybe we moved too fast. But we dated two months before he even met my son. What does that mean, moved to fast. When I have said that in relationships it has meant that I wanted out. He says he doesn't want out. Lately one of us is always in a bad mood. We never even fought until 3 weeks ago. How can we both get out of our mood and on with our lives. Should we take time apart? I love him and he's worth fighting for. Until we started fighting, he was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I still feel that he is, but I can't stay with someone that I fight with everyday. How can we put all this aside and move on together? Any suggestionMore relationship advice please....?
it is common for couples to start fighting at about this time because as people like to call it you are out of the honey moon stage. just try and ride it out try to do more activities together instead of just staying home and watching tv. i dont know if you guys see eachother every day, but if you do you might like try to see eachother every other day or something. relationships take a lot of work and a lot of bitting your tounge and if thats what it takes to make it work and if your willing to do that than stay with him, however it has to go both ways. just work on it and pray.More relationship advice please....?
Newsflash - fighting doesn't mean a relationship is bad. ALL couples have arguments. It's okay.
Work it out together. You've only been together 8 months - take it slow. Moving too fast means just that - he isn't ready for marriage. He isn't ready to move in together.
Work it out together. Go to a professional.
You CAN'T just put it all aside. This is real - this a problem. You need to solve it as a COUPLE and move on.
';but I can't stay with someone that I fight with everyday';... isn't that a bit premature? I mean, it point to breaking up already. Is that a secret desire or are you just expressing you desperately would like to find a solution?
You are looking for answers. These will only come if you settle down to talk honestly about the issues that are bugging you both. That means learning how to listen to one another. Good luck.
If you guys aren't living together, don't see eachother for a week or two. Things will be good once you guys start missing eachother. You won't want to fight so you don't have to stop hanging out again. Don't call it a ';break'; or a split. Just say that you need to not be around eachother for a week but that you guys are still exclusive.
Sounds like you guys needs to communicate better and do things that remind you of why you love each other. My boyfriend (of 2 years) and I were having a bad couple of weeks and I came up with the idea for us each to plan a special secret date to take each other on. This gives you a chance to show each other an intimate part of yourself, and how thoughtful you can be.
Seems that one of you (or both of you) have some doubts about your future together. And you are not communicating them (which is hard, I know). Try to remember anything he has said in the past for hints on what his doubts might be. Ask him? 8 months is not too soon, many people can decide whether the relationship has future or not within the first 6 months.
first do you look like a southern bell? (hit me back with that answer) but i don't really know what or how to tell you. everybody in relationship fight, but when it gets out of hard or when someone is always moody it time to start look outside the box. how long is this goin to go on...... or you can come see me and i will show you how a lady needs to be handled.... feel free to drop a few line on my ques.
ok i think he means yes you guys went fast at first but the thing is he needs to go slower than you guys did at first!
Well i've been in a situation similar to yours where me %26amp; my bf were constantly fighting but I think its just a phase through the relationship. There were times that I just felt like giving up but we never did and now things are perfect. Yea theres a little fight now and then but I could say things are good. Maybe he's just insecure with the whole you having a baby and stuff but if he's still there it's for a reason. I think you guys should just talk about things and try to have a civilized conversation without being angry all the time.
Remember, you choose to get mad or not. You could always prevent it. That would helpt out a lot.
Couples do fight every now and then though, it's normal!
I hope my advice worked. Good Luck!
The number one reason relationships die is money. number two is jealousy. In this economic situation this whole world is in and in America even worse as our dollar is deflating because we keep printing money to offset the hole the current leaders are digging us into. But you want to know how to improve your relationship and I would say lack of quality attention wanting to please your partner is one thing but getting it done has to come together from both parties if its over its over learn and move on.
Hello my dear friend ,
chat on: Yahoo! Messenger: egyptianman1967
LOVE IS THE BEST THING IN THE LIFE
I am looking for true love and happy marriage.
Hi, Fall greetings from Egypt and from me to you!.Is not it nice to have someone so far away looking for you ?!. My name is Mohamed El-Sayad, Egyptian man, handsome,good looking, attractivemy birth date is 27th January, 1967, I am 185 Cm.tall, I do not smoke nor drink, my health is very sound and strong, I have so high energy and very much vitality,hardworking, super active, I love make love and make sex xxx oh too much, just only with my lover and future wife.so I am hungry and have sexual power. I am single and free. I am Muslim and religious person. Looking for good woman.
My interests are music, reading, traveling, nature, culture, history, decoration art, arts,crafts, handcraft, gardening, photography, cooking, and exchange holidays. I am very romantic, warm, caring, kind, serious, understanding, open minded, loving, honest, confident, sincere, honest, romantic, humorous, honesty, faithful, caring, funny, humorous, patient, smart, intelligent, ambitious, cultured,positive, generous and creative man . I have good warm clean heart like baby heart and I have big grow up mind like mind of wise%26amp;philosopher man. I have a house of four floors and I live alone, I speaks English and Arabic, I am university graduate, I have got B.A. in sociology, also I have got introductory of master's degree, I am social specialist at school, also I like free work, so I work as a businessman, export';Egyptian%26amp;touristic products'; all over the world, the goods including: Papyrus paintings, home decor products, statues,ceramics copper plates, perfume bottles (antique glass marbles-blown Pyrex), crystal, ornaments, accessories, jewelry (pendants, amulets, silver, stone and other), inlaid jewelry boxes, cotton clothing (Egyptian women galabia, scarves, T-shirts, shirts, men socks, underwear, cotton towels, belly dance accessories), wool clothes( sweaters), natural leather goods (shoes, belts, gentlemen wallets, ladies purse, lady bags), Egyptian gifts, furniture,hanging hand made carpets ( rugs), herbs and more. I can help you, I have very good job for you*(as part time), I want good agent and representative for my company( EGYPTIAN SOUVENIRS CO.) to work with me in your city and country, you will get good money for you and get good money for buy air ticket to visit Egypt too. also you can visit me in my house, I have eampty flat 5 rooms ready with new furniture for you, friends, and your family to stay in with eat good Egyptian home foods, full staying. (welcome to Egypt%26amp;my city%26amp;home soon).
all you do now collect some address from news papers, magazines, and from advertisements of shops, stores and import companies and contact managers%26amp;owners of shops and stores, directly face to face and meet and talk with them and contact by E-Mail,internet, telephone and contact them directly to tell them about Egyptian %26amp; tourstic products, please write to me which goods the shops and people in your city and country wants it like leather goods, cotton goods,...etc you will have catalog and 2 web site let the managers see it show it to them, I am sure you are smart woman and you will be successful in this work and get good money .please tell me every thing about work by E-Mail and visit my web site. I am waiting your reply by E-Mail: welcometoegypt@gawab.com
Mohamed
Tel: + 2050 6951468
web site1: http://egyptiansouvenirs.8m.com
website2: http://egyptianproducts.8m.com
website3: http://egyptiancompany.8m.com
web site4: http://egyptiangift.8m.com
for more information contact me now E-Mail: egyptmail@gawab.com
Tel: 0020506951468
I am successful in my work and I like it.
Mit Ghamr, where I live is small city it just on the river Nile bank, it is not far from Cairo for the crossing take roughly one hour and quarter, about the weather in Egypt, its very fine, nice and sunny, Egypt is famous for its year round temperate weather.
Really I have not any girl friend or wife, I had searched for my dream girl as a wife since many years ago, but I can not found her, How can I do this? you will never know how much of love in deep inside in whole my heart, but where is my love? I can not find';THE TRUE LOVE'; until now, I have too much love, but where is my dream girl? I am dying for find her, when I find her I will do my best to care and make her happy during all circumstances and give her my mind and heart and she will be the whole world to me, my love, friend, family, life partner and wife. cheer her up when she weak and be there for her at all times. I believe the most important thing in the life is LOVE and friendship. I mean the true and clean love, no life without love, the love is life and the life is love, nothing is more valuable than love in the life the love can change everything, we love ourself and the life more when love somebody ales in my opinion we can feel very happy indeed when we have lover and good friend(wife). seeking to make friends. I am looking for true love and happy marriage. Are you single or married? 賸What is your country where are you live? What is your job?
Really I hope we can be very very good friends and more.......please send me your photos.
I am longing for know everything about you. I am awaiting your reply with great interest.
with my best wishes to you
Yours
Mohamed
My address
MR. MOHAMED EL-SAYAD
43 MALIK FAISSAL STREET,
MIT GHAMR 35611, DAKAHLIA,
EGYPT.
Tel: + 2050 6951468
E-Mail: welcometoegypt@gawab.com
E-Mail: egyptmail@gawab.com
E-Mail: okegypt@gawab.com
website1: http://egyptiansouvenirs.8m.com
web site2: http://egyptianproducts.8m.com
web site3: http://egyptiancompany.8m.com
web site4: http://egyptiangift.8m.com
web site5: http://egyptianhandcrafts.8m.com
seeking to make friends. I am looking for true love and happy marriage.
Add me to your friend list on yahoo messenger and chating with me now:
Yahoo! Messenger: egyptianman1967
chat on: Yahoo! Messenger: egyptianman1967
Yahoo! egyptianman1967's profile http://profiles.yahoo.com/egyptianman1967
chat on windows Live Messenger(msn): okegypt@hotmail.comstop pimples
it is common for couples to start fighting at about this time because as people like to call it you are out of the honey moon stage. just try and ride it out try to do more activities together instead of just staying home and watching tv. i dont know if you guys see eachother every day, but if you do you might like try to see eachother every other day or something. relationships take a lot of work and a lot of bitting your tounge and if thats what it takes to make it work and if your willing to do that than stay with him, however it has to go both ways. just work on it and pray.More relationship advice please....?
Newsflash - fighting doesn't mean a relationship is bad. ALL couples have arguments. It's okay.
Work it out together. You've only been together 8 months - take it slow. Moving too fast means just that - he isn't ready for marriage. He isn't ready to move in together.
Work it out together. Go to a professional.
You CAN'T just put it all aside. This is real - this a problem. You need to solve it as a COUPLE and move on.
';but I can't stay with someone that I fight with everyday';... isn't that a bit premature? I mean, it point to breaking up already. Is that a secret desire or are you just expressing you desperately would like to find a solution?
You are looking for answers. These will only come if you settle down to talk honestly about the issues that are bugging you both. That means learning how to listen to one another. Good luck.
If you guys aren't living together, don't see eachother for a week or two. Things will be good once you guys start missing eachother. You won't want to fight so you don't have to stop hanging out again. Don't call it a ';break'; or a split. Just say that you need to not be around eachother for a week but that you guys are still exclusive.
Sounds like you guys needs to communicate better and do things that remind you of why you love each other. My boyfriend (of 2 years) and I were having a bad couple of weeks and I came up with the idea for us each to plan a special secret date to take each other on. This gives you a chance to show each other an intimate part of yourself, and how thoughtful you can be.
Seems that one of you (or both of you) have some doubts about your future together. And you are not communicating them (which is hard, I know). Try to remember anything he has said in the past for hints on what his doubts might be. Ask him? 8 months is not too soon, many people can decide whether the relationship has future or not within the first 6 months.
first do you look like a southern bell? (hit me back with that answer) but i don't really know what or how to tell you. everybody in relationship fight, but when it gets out of hard or when someone is always moody it time to start look outside the box. how long is this goin to go on...... or you can come see me and i will show you how a lady needs to be handled.... feel free to drop a few line on my ques.
ok i think he means yes you guys went fast at first but the thing is he needs to go slower than you guys did at first!
Well i've been in a situation similar to yours where me %26amp; my bf were constantly fighting but I think its just a phase through the relationship. There were times that I just felt like giving up but we never did and now things are perfect. Yea theres a little fight now and then but I could say things are good. Maybe he's just insecure with the whole you having a baby and stuff but if he's still there it's for a reason. I think you guys should just talk about things and try to have a civilized conversation without being angry all the time.
Remember, you choose to get mad or not. You could always prevent it. That would helpt out a lot.
Couples do fight every now and then though, it's normal!
I hope my advice worked. Good Luck!
The number one reason relationships die is money. number two is jealousy. In this economic situation this whole world is in and in America even worse as our dollar is deflating because we keep printing money to offset the hole the current leaders are digging us into. But you want to know how to improve your relationship and I would say lack of quality attention wanting to please your partner is one thing but getting it done has to come together from both parties if its over its over learn and move on.
Hello my dear friend ,
chat on: Yahoo! Messenger: egyptianman1967
LOVE IS THE BEST THING IN THE LIFE
I am looking for true love and happy marriage.
Hi, Fall greetings from Egypt and from me to you!.Is not it nice to have someone so far away looking for you ?!. My name is Mohamed El-Sayad, Egyptian man, handsome,good looking, attractivemy birth date is 27th January, 1967, I am 185 Cm.tall, I do not smoke nor drink, my health is very sound and strong, I have so high energy and very much vitality,hardworking, super active, I love make love and make sex xxx oh too much, just only with my lover and future wife.so I am hungry and have sexual power. I am single and free. I am Muslim and religious person. Looking for good woman.
My interests are music, reading, traveling, nature, culture, history, decoration art, arts,crafts, handcraft, gardening, photography, cooking, and exchange holidays. I am very romantic, warm, caring, kind, serious, understanding, open minded, loving, honest, confident, sincere, honest, romantic, humorous, honesty, faithful, caring, funny, humorous, patient, smart, intelligent, ambitious, cultured,positive, generous and creative man . I have good warm clean heart like baby heart and I have big grow up mind like mind of wise%26amp;philosopher man. I have a house of four floors and I live alone, I speaks English and Arabic, I am university graduate, I have got B.A. in sociology, also I have got introductory of master's degree, I am social specialist at school, also I like free work, so I work as a businessman, export';Egyptian%26amp;touristic products'; all over the world, the goods including: Papyrus paintings, home decor products, statues,ceramics copper plates, perfume bottles (antique glass marbles-blown Pyrex), crystal, ornaments, accessories, jewelry (pendants, amulets, silver, stone and other), inlaid jewelry boxes, cotton clothing (Egyptian women galabia, scarves, T-shirts, shirts, men socks, underwear, cotton towels, belly dance accessories), wool clothes( sweaters), natural leather goods (shoes, belts, gentlemen wallets, ladies purse, lady bags), Egyptian gifts, furniture,hanging hand made carpets ( rugs), herbs and more. I can help you, I have very good job for you*(as part time), I want good agent and representative for my company( EGYPTIAN SOUVENIRS CO.) to work with me in your city and country, you will get good money for you and get good money for buy air ticket to visit Egypt too. also you can visit me in my house, I have eampty flat 5 rooms ready with new furniture for you, friends, and your family to stay in with eat good Egyptian home foods, full staying. (welcome to Egypt%26amp;my city%26amp;home soon).
all you do now collect some address from news papers, magazines, and from advertisements of shops, stores and import companies and contact managers%26amp;owners of shops and stores, directly face to face and meet and talk with them and contact by E-Mail,internet, telephone and contact them directly to tell them about Egyptian %26amp; tourstic products, please write to me which goods the shops and people in your city and country wants it like leather goods, cotton goods,...etc you will have catalog and 2 web site let the managers see it show it to them, I am sure you are smart woman and you will be successful in this work and get good money .please tell me every thing about work by E-Mail and visit my web site. I am waiting your reply by E-Mail: welcometoegypt@gawab.com
Mohamed
Tel: + 2050 6951468
web site1: http://egyptiansouvenirs.8m.com
website2: http://egyptianproducts.8m.com
website3: http://egyptiancompany.8m.com
web site4: http://egyptiangift.8m.com
for more information contact me now E-Mail: egyptmail@gawab.com
Tel: 0020506951468
I am successful in my work and I like it.
Mit Ghamr, where I live is small city it just on the river Nile bank, it is not far from Cairo for the crossing take roughly one hour and quarter, about the weather in Egypt, its very fine, nice and sunny, Egypt is famous for its year round temperate weather.
Really I have not any girl friend or wife, I had searched for my dream girl as a wife since many years ago, but I can not found her, How can I do this? you will never know how much of love in deep inside in whole my heart, but where is my love? I can not find';THE TRUE LOVE'; until now, I have too much love, but where is my dream girl? I am dying for find her, when I find her I will do my best to care and make her happy during all circumstances and give her my mind and heart and she will be the whole world to me, my love, friend, family, life partner and wife. cheer her up when she weak and be there for her at all times. I believe the most important thing in the life is LOVE and friendship. I mean the true and clean love, no life without love, the love is life and the life is love, nothing is more valuable than love in the life the love can change everything, we love ourself and the life more when love somebody ales in my opinion we can feel very happy indeed when we have lover and good friend(wife). seeking to make friends. I am looking for true love and happy marriage. Are you single or married? 賸What is your country where are you live? What is your job?
Really I hope we can be very very good friends and more.......please send me your photos.
I am longing for know everything about you. I am awaiting your reply with great interest.
with my best wishes to you
Yours
Mohamed
My address
MR. MOHAMED EL-SAYAD
43 MALIK FAISSAL STREET,
MIT GHAMR 35611, DAKAHLIA,
EGYPT.
Tel: + 2050 6951468
E-Mail: welcometoegypt@gawab.com
E-Mail: egyptmail@gawab.com
E-Mail: okegypt@gawab.com
website1: http://egyptiansouvenirs.8m.com
web site2: http://egyptianproducts.8m.com
web site3: http://egyptiancompany.8m.com
web site4: http://egyptiangift.8m.com
web site5: http://egyptianhandcrafts.8m.com
seeking to make friends. I am looking for true love and happy marriage.
Add me to your friend list on yahoo messenger and chating with me now:
Yahoo! Messenger: egyptianman1967
chat on: Yahoo! Messenger: egyptianman1967
Yahoo! egyptianman1967's profile http://profiles.yahoo.com/egyptianman1967
chat on windows Live Messenger(msn): okegypt@hotmail.com
Serious Relationship Advice?
I met a wonderful and perfect guy for me at the beginning of the year and he's friends with my brother which isn't the problem at all. He has a girlfriend, but when i talk to him it sounds like he likes me but I can never tell. Sometimes he texts or talks like he's flirting but other times he specifically says friend i think to let me know. I can't stop thinking about him and I'm going away to college this fall. He's going to be gone for most of the summer so I'll never see him, but we keep in contact a lot. he is a very different guy, and very respectful, but it's the fact that he has a girlfriend that is really bugging me. I keep getting mixed signals from him.
He's a great friend and I don't want to mess things up with him, but i think there's something there and i don't want to regret not doing anything about it before i leave. What should i do???Serious Relationship Advice?
The best thing would be to wait until you come back. I think you might feel guilty for getting involved with him when he has a girlfriend, not to mention why start a relationship with him when you are moving. It would just distract you from school because all you would be thinking about is him. I know that is what I would do (if it were a girl).
Yet at the same time I would think twice about pursuing this relationship, because if he kicks this girl to the curb for you and is flirting with you while he is with her, it would make me think he may do the same thing to you.Serious Relationship Advice?
If you were his girlfriend and he was talking to another girl like he talks to you, would that upset you? I would judge his character based on how he treats the girlfriend that he already has. Even if you think he is the one for you, I would move on. Especially if your going to school, you WILL meet somebody else. He is taken, I say move on.
Stay away from him, he has girlfriend, imagine if you were that girl. Would u want your boyfriend to be talking to another girl? So don't interfere in his current relationship. If ya'll are meant to be toghether it will happen no matter what. :-)
Let him know how you feel. Tell him that hes sending you mixed feelings and you wanna know whats up. Like you said, you dont wanna regret not finding out. Then again, long distance relationships almost always never work out.
Don't do anything. If you make a move, it could be the wrong one and then it could just mess everything up between you two. Keep in touch with him while you're gone. You guys could still text and write.
your opinions DO NOT MATTER AT ALL HERE. LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. STAY OUT OF IT. there are plenty of others guys out there who are SINGLE. are you insane????????? move on .
Stay friends with him, but don't move on him.
You're going off to college; you may discover new things about yourself, new sides of yourself that you wish to cultivate, and there may be wonderful people you haven't met yet. If he is someone who would be good to be with, then you can be friends and simply be there and wait for the right time to tell him that you're not only interested in him as a friend. I have had several lovers who were and remain my friends, and the friendship makes dating easier, because they aren't someone weird or new, just themselves.
He's a great friend and I don't want to mess things up with him, but i think there's something there and i don't want to regret not doing anything about it before i leave. What should i do???Serious Relationship Advice?
The best thing would be to wait until you come back. I think you might feel guilty for getting involved with him when he has a girlfriend, not to mention why start a relationship with him when you are moving. It would just distract you from school because all you would be thinking about is him. I know that is what I would do (if it were a girl).
Yet at the same time I would think twice about pursuing this relationship, because if he kicks this girl to the curb for you and is flirting with you while he is with her, it would make me think he may do the same thing to you.Serious Relationship Advice?
If you were his girlfriend and he was talking to another girl like he talks to you, would that upset you? I would judge his character based on how he treats the girlfriend that he already has. Even if you think he is the one for you, I would move on. Especially if your going to school, you WILL meet somebody else. He is taken, I say move on.
Stay away from him, he has girlfriend, imagine if you were that girl. Would u want your boyfriend to be talking to another girl? So don't interfere in his current relationship. If ya'll are meant to be toghether it will happen no matter what. :-)
Let him know how you feel. Tell him that hes sending you mixed feelings and you wanna know whats up. Like you said, you dont wanna regret not finding out. Then again, long distance relationships almost always never work out.
Don't do anything. If you make a move, it could be the wrong one and then it could just mess everything up between you two. Keep in touch with him while you're gone. You guys could still text and write.
your opinions DO NOT MATTER AT ALL HERE. LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. STAY OUT OF IT. there are plenty of others guys out there who are SINGLE. are you insane????????? move on .
Stay friends with him, but don't move on him.
You're going off to college; you may discover new things about yourself, new sides of yourself that you wish to cultivate, and there may be wonderful people you haven't met yet. If he is someone who would be good to be with, then you can be friends and simply be there and wait for the right time to tell him that you're not only interested in him as a friend. I have had several lovers who were and remain my friends, and the friendship makes dating easier, because they aren't someone weird or new, just themselves.
Best relationship advice, please look?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS??
No matter how much you like someone, there is alway somebody better out there.
Don't ever go into a relationship with the additude that he/she is the best one out there for you. It will only lead to disapointment when you realize that you were wrong.
Find a girl/guy that makes you happy and you think you can spend the rest of your life with. don't get discouraged when you meet someone who is a better match for you.
As long as your both happy, you shouldn't ever consider ending a good thing. If both of you can live by these simple guidlines, your relationship will last forever.....
WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?????Best relationship advice, please look?
I totally agree but to add to what you said I think if you mget to know the person first as friends you stand the chance of being together a little longer too.Best relationship advice, please look?
I don't totally agree with all. Withthe first part it kind of gives the impression that you are encouraging couples to cheat on their significant other. And telling them why bother with him/her eventullay you will find the one??????
besides ifyou find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, why would you leave for a better match if he/she makes you happy and satisfies your needs??????????
And at he end you totally contradict your self, cause you say if you are happy then don't end it, but at first you say end it when you find someone better. So WTF are you trying to say..........
Well here is what I think. People always think the grass is always greener on the other side and it don't always turn out that way. See if we find that perfect person that person that makes out heart skip that beat you need to stay with that person if he/she loves you the way you are then he/she is a keeper. The only time I think you should find someone else is if the person you are is abusing you in any kind of way. And remember this the family that prays together stays together.
i hope your wrong..
but yeah i think its good advice
and i think its wrong on my part
I think that's partly correct
No matter how much you like someone, there is alway somebody better out there.
Don't ever go into a relationship with the additude that he/she is the best one out there for you. It will only lead to disapointment when you realize that you were wrong.
Find a girl/guy that makes you happy and you think you can spend the rest of your life with. don't get discouraged when you meet someone who is a better match for you.
As long as your both happy, you shouldn't ever consider ending a good thing. If both of you can live by these simple guidlines, your relationship will last forever.....
WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?????Best relationship advice, please look?
I totally agree but to add to what you said I think if you mget to know the person first as friends you stand the chance of being together a little longer too.Best relationship advice, please look?
I don't totally agree with all. Withthe first part it kind of gives the impression that you are encouraging couples to cheat on their significant other. And telling them why bother with him/her eventullay you will find the one??????
besides ifyou find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, why would you leave for a better match if he/she makes you happy and satisfies your needs??????????
And at he end you totally contradict your self, cause you say if you are happy then don't end it, but at first you say end it when you find someone better. So WTF are you trying to say..........
Well here is what I think. People always think the grass is always greener on the other side and it don't always turn out that way. See if we find that perfect person that person that makes out heart skip that beat you need to stay with that person if he/she loves you the way you are then he/she is a keeper. The only time I think you should find someone else is if the person you are is abusing you in any kind of way. And remember this the family that prays together stays together.
i hope your wrong..
but yeah i think its good advice
and i think its wrong on my part
I think that's partly correct
Serious Relationship Advice?
I met a wonderful and perfect guy for me at the beginning of the year and he's friends with my brother which isn't the problem at all. He has a girlfriend, but when i talk to him it sounds like he likes me but I can never tell. Sometimes he texts or talks like he's flirting but other times he specifically says friend i think to let me know. I can't stop thinking about him and I'm going away to college this fall. He's going to be gone for most of the summer so I'll never see him, but we keep in contact a lot. he is a very different guy, and very respectful, but it's the fact that he has a girlfriend that is really bugging me. I keep getting mixed signals from him.
He's a great friend and I don't want to mess things up with him, but i think there's something there and i don't want to regret not doing anything about it before i leave. What should i do???Serious Relationship Advice?
The best thing would be to wait until you come back. I think you might feel guilty for getting involved with him when he has a girlfriend, not to mention why start a relationship with him when you are moving. It would just distract you from school because all you would be thinking about is him. I know that is what I would do (if it were a girl).
Yet at the same time I would think twice about pursuing this relationship, because if he kicks this girl to the curb for you and is flirting with you while he is with her, it would make me think he may do the same thing to you.Serious Relationship Advice?
If you were his girlfriend and he was talking to another girl like he talks to you, would that upset you? I would judge his character based on how he treats the girlfriend that he already has. Even if you think he is the one for you, I would move on. Especially if your going to school, you WILL meet somebody else. He is taken, I say move on.
Stay away from him, he has girlfriend, imagine if you were that girl. Would u want your boyfriend to be talking to another girl? So don't interfere in his current relationship. If ya'll are meant to be toghether it will happen no matter what. :-)
Let him know how you feel. Tell him that hes sending you mixed feelings and you wanna know whats up. Like you said, you dont wanna regret not finding out. Then again, long distance relationships almost always never work out.
Don't do anything. If you make a move, it could be the wrong one and then it could just mess everything up between you two. Keep in touch with him while you're gone. You guys could still text and write.
your opinions DO NOT MATTER AT ALL HERE. LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. STAY OUT OF IT. there are plenty of others guys out there who are SINGLE. are you insane????????? move on .
Stay friends with him, but don't move on him.
You're going off to college; you may discover new things about yourself, new sides of yourself that you wish to cultivate, and there may be wonderful people you haven't met yet. If he is someone who would be good to be with, then you can be friends and simply be there and wait for the right time to tell him that you're not only interested in him as a friend. I have had several lovers who were and remain my friends, and the friendship makes dating easier, because they aren't someone weird or new, just themselves.
He's a great friend and I don't want to mess things up with him, but i think there's something there and i don't want to regret not doing anything about it before i leave. What should i do???Serious Relationship Advice?
The best thing would be to wait until you come back. I think you might feel guilty for getting involved with him when he has a girlfriend, not to mention why start a relationship with him when you are moving. It would just distract you from school because all you would be thinking about is him. I know that is what I would do (if it were a girl).
Yet at the same time I would think twice about pursuing this relationship, because if he kicks this girl to the curb for you and is flirting with you while he is with her, it would make me think he may do the same thing to you.Serious Relationship Advice?
If you were his girlfriend and he was talking to another girl like he talks to you, would that upset you? I would judge his character based on how he treats the girlfriend that he already has. Even if you think he is the one for you, I would move on. Especially if your going to school, you WILL meet somebody else. He is taken, I say move on.
Stay away from him, he has girlfriend, imagine if you were that girl. Would u want your boyfriend to be talking to another girl? So don't interfere in his current relationship. If ya'll are meant to be toghether it will happen no matter what. :-)
Let him know how you feel. Tell him that hes sending you mixed feelings and you wanna know whats up. Like you said, you dont wanna regret not finding out. Then again, long distance relationships almost always never work out.
Don't do anything. If you make a move, it could be the wrong one and then it could just mess everything up between you two. Keep in touch with him while you're gone. You guys could still text and write.
your opinions DO NOT MATTER AT ALL HERE. LEAVE HIM ALONE. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. STAY OUT OF IT. there are plenty of others guys out there who are SINGLE. are you insane????????? move on .
Stay friends with him, but don't move on him.
You're going off to college; you may discover new things about yourself, new sides of yourself that you wish to cultivate, and there may be wonderful people you haven't met yet. If he is someone who would be good to be with, then you can be friends and simply be there and wait for the right time to tell him that you're not only interested in him as a friend. I have had several lovers who were and remain my friends, and the friendship makes dating easier, because they aren't someone weird or new, just themselves.
I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
Ok so I have this friend who I met and we hit it off great at first there was no way I would hook up with him, he was not my type at all. After a few weeks of him texting me non-stop we started getting closer and we have been having a sexual relationship. We both are somewhat unsure if we would call ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend and he is the type to hide his feelings. So far he has taken me out to a movie, spent a weekend away from where we live together,and took me out to a nice restaurant. We got into an argument which he called it quits but then 2 days latter he is apologizing and wanting to talk and make up. Now he has invited me to his friends place for cook outs and started hanging out with my kids and playing with them, he took them to the park and spent a good amount of time with them a few weekends ago when we were all at a friends house for dinner.
Thing is he is in his early 20's and i am in my late 20's, neither of us really know what to call our relationship he says he just lets things naturally happen, but I feel like I need answers. Does this seem like a possible relationship? I do know he has talked to his friends and family about me and personally I do not believe he has had a real relationship before. What is he waiting on? am I just wasting my time or should I just be a bit more patient?I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
Does this seem like a possible relationship?
I don't think so because women became aged faster than men.
soon he will be in the height of his youth and you will be old like his mother beside him
don't get annoyed with me but i try to give you advice.I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
There is definitely something there. I think sometimes, women too often get too preoccupied with titles and labels. What you're describing sounds like a relationship to me, and a pretty good one, so you shouldn't really pressure him to call it that. Especially if this is one of his first real relationships, he'll get there. :)
No, this is not a relationship, forget it. The fact that you are even asking the question '; is this a possible relationship?'; means that is not. I only briefly read what you wrote an I spotted the words ';we got into an argument'; that immediately spells doom. Just forget it. You dated a bit it didn't work out, just go back to your lives.
I was faced with the same problem recently; but I solved it in a very easy AND INEXPENSIVE WAY!!!!!!
I have been married twice and the only way I was able to do this was by doing a little ';pregnancy scare.';
BEST WISHES!
If he is involved with your kids then he is probably considering you to be his girlfriend. Although I suppose he could be keeping up the appearance of 'boyfriend' to continue the sexual relationship, but it seems that he wouldn't put this much effort into it if he weren't serious about you. Is he a nice guy? Good person? Or does he have kind of a jerky nature? If he is a decent person, then I would go ahead and assume that he is not using you.
It seems that the two of you could definitely have a relationship if he would just admit his feelings. He wants to take things slow in that regard, so if you care for him you will be patient. He is young so the possibility of having met 'the one' (for lack of better terminology) is probably a little frightening for him.
If he plays games with you, ditch him, but if he seems sincere and isn't seeing anyone else, and is good with your children, and you want the relationship to evolve, then keep seeing him.
It doesn't seem to have the makings of a casual sex relationship.
Thing is he is in his early 20's and i am in my late 20's, neither of us really know what to call our relationship he says he just lets things naturally happen, but I feel like I need answers. Does this seem like a possible relationship? I do know he has talked to his friends and family about me and personally I do not believe he has had a real relationship before. What is he waiting on? am I just wasting my time or should I just be a bit more patient?I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
Does this seem like a possible relationship?
I don't think so because women became aged faster than men.
soon he will be in the height of his youth and you will be old like his mother beside him
don't get annoyed with me but i try to give you advice.I need some relationship advice, is this a possible relationship?
There is definitely something there. I think sometimes, women too often get too preoccupied with titles and labels. What you're describing sounds like a relationship to me, and a pretty good one, so you shouldn't really pressure him to call it that. Especially if this is one of his first real relationships, he'll get there. :)
No, this is not a relationship, forget it. The fact that you are even asking the question '; is this a possible relationship?'; means that is not. I only briefly read what you wrote an I spotted the words ';we got into an argument'; that immediately spells doom. Just forget it. You dated a bit it didn't work out, just go back to your lives.
I was faced with the same problem recently; but I solved it in a very easy AND INEXPENSIVE WAY!!!!!!
I have been married twice and the only way I was able to do this was by doing a little ';pregnancy scare.';
BEST WISHES!
If he is involved with your kids then he is probably considering you to be his girlfriend. Although I suppose he could be keeping up the appearance of 'boyfriend' to continue the sexual relationship, but it seems that he wouldn't put this much effort into it if he weren't serious about you. Is he a nice guy? Good person? Or does he have kind of a jerky nature? If he is a decent person, then I would go ahead and assume that he is not using you.
It seems that the two of you could definitely have a relationship if he would just admit his feelings. He wants to take things slow in that regard, so if you care for him you will be patient. He is young so the possibility of having met 'the one' (for lack of better terminology) is probably a little frightening for him.
If he plays games with you, ditch him, but if he seems sincere and isn't seeing anyone else, and is good with your children, and you want the relationship to evolve, then keep seeing him.
It doesn't seem to have the makings of a casual sex relationship.
Christian relationship Advice!!?
My recent boyfriend and I decided to call it quits after a recent conversation. I asked where he thought we stood and he said he did not know. He's divorced and has been for about 2 years now. He claims he would not go back to his ex-wife but I asked him if she were saved would he go back to her and he said yes. I asked him if he was over his divorce and he said no. I did not have a problem with this per se. I just wish he would have considered these things before he asked me out. Because he said he would go back to her if she were saved this would mean I'd be out of the picture. So I asked him if he was filling a void and he said he didn't know how to answer this question. His ex is engaged to marry someone else. Also when we met I asked him if he was over her and he said he did not want to go back to her but this came out recently. Anyway any insight --anyone been through this. I've been crying over this. It hurt more than I thought it wouldChristian relationship Advice!!?
He's not over her. It sounds like she might always be in the back of his mind. You deserve to be somebody's #1, not a replacement. Break it off and find someone who appreciates you and loves you.Christian relationship Advice!!?
Are you satisfied with being the second choice?
The answer to that should guide your way.
Ditch him.
His attitude demonstrates quite clearly that he doesn't value people for their own values, but only for their adherance to his own twisted ideals.
It demonstrates in no uncertain terms that he does not value you as a person.... as an individual.
People coming out of divorces, especially if they didn't want the divorce are screwed up and it takes time to get back to reality. At least he's being straightforward with you. You should probably let him go
If it's a recent engagement, maybe your guy is just feeling bad. You know, wondering what could have been.
He obviously isn't over his ex and it was wrong of him to ask you out when he still had all this emotional baggage from his previous relationship. Its easy to say cut your loses, but much harder to do i know, but this man isn't worth your tears. Find someone who wants the commitment and that will treat you in the way you deserve. He also doesn't seem particularly sound on the religous front if he can't even treat you with the respect you deserve...steer clear of that one and remember there are loads of great guys out there...so go meet them!
I am sorry it has to come to this. Clearly your boyfriend is very confused about the whole thing. Maybe it is a good advice that you should have a break.
I wonder why he wasn't over her. I wonder what was the reason behind the divorce. Maybe it was nothing to do with the religion difference.
I know you are hurting, and I really feel for you. With what you said about his ex getting married, that makes me think even if he were over her, this would set off some emotional feelings that he needs to deal with.
I'm not sure that God is shutting this door just yet, but it sounds like he needs time and prayer in order to see more clearly the road ahead. If it is a door shutting, on this relationship, there will be another opening. Stay strong and in the word. God listens and is the perfect comforter. I'm sorry I can't say anything to take your pain away.
dont put too much hope on him because he still loves his ex-wife, he just doesn't wanna admit it
Move on, honey. He needs to work out his own issues. And God will provide you with someone who will devote the PROPER amount of emotion and affection to YOU and you alone. Do not worry.
I know it's hard, but I really do think you should move on, and let him figure his heart out. It's between him and God, and perhaps his ex.
God Bless.
It seems that he is telling you the truth... don't force the realtionship. If it is meant to be it will be if it is not then it won't... but either way life will go on. Maybe he just needs time. Ask him if he loves you and sees a future with you. If hw says no, then you've got your answer fair and square. If he says I don't know... give him space to figure things out and go on with your life in the meantime! Don't wait around for him by any means... it's not fair to you... you will only become more attached to a ambiguous situation.
Pray for strength to move on and peace with whatever decision you make!
.
Sweetie, you don't need Christian advice on this. Just human. Let him go, he's not ready for a new relationship yet. It doesn't seem to be about you, you know?
You poor thing! You are definitely doing the right thing ending it. You deserve to be with someone who won't compare you or put you second to any other woman. It sounds as though he has a lot of guilt over his divorce. Even if she marries someone else, you shouldn't consider getting back together with him. He's hurt you enough.
While I don't believe that relationships are intended to be perfect, I do think that you deserve to be with some one who recognizes that what you have is the best relationship he's been in. I think it is dishonest to yourself and to what a true relationship is to settle for something less than this. He should have considered these things before he asked you out. If he was being a good Christian, but it's possible that he wasn't fully aware of what level of emotional intimacy a good relationship should entail. God bless.
He's not over her. It sounds like she might always be in the back of his mind. You deserve to be somebody's #1, not a replacement. Break it off and find someone who appreciates you and loves you.Christian relationship Advice!!?
Are you satisfied with being the second choice?
The answer to that should guide your way.
Ditch him.
His attitude demonstrates quite clearly that he doesn't value people for their own values, but only for their adherance to his own twisted ideals.
It demonstrates in no uncertain terms that he does not value you as a person.... as an individual.
People coming out of divorces, especially if they didn't want the divorce are screwed up and it takes time to get back to reality. At least he's being straightforward with you. You should probably let him go
If it's a recent engagement, maybe your guy is just feeling bad. You know, wondering what could have been.
He obviously isn't over his ex and it was wrong of him to ask you out when he still had all this emotional baggage from his previous relationship. Its easy to say cut your loses, but much harder to do i know, but this man isn't worth your tears. Find someone who wants the commitment and that will treat you in the way you deserve. He also doesn't seem particularly sound on the religous front if he can't even treat you with the respect you deserve...steer clear of that one and remember there are loads of great guys out there...so go meet them!
I am sorry it has to come to this. Clearly your boyfriend is very confused about the whole thing. Maybe it is a good advice that you should have a break.
I wonder why he wasn't over her. I wonder what was the reason behind the divorce. Maybe it was nothing to do with the religion difference.
I know you are hurting, and I really feel for you. With what you said about his ex getting married, that makes me think even if he were over her, this would set off some emotional feelings that he needs to deal with.
I'm not sure that God is shutting this door just yet, but it sounds like he needs time and prayer in order to see more clearly the road ahead. If it is a door shutting, on this relationship, there will be another opening. Stay strong and in the word. God listens and is the perfect comforter. I'm sorry I can't say anything to take your pain away.
dont put too much hope on him because he still loves his ex-wife, he just doesn't wanna admit it
Move on, honey. He needs to work out his own issues. And God will provide you with someone who will devote the PROPER amount of emotion and affection to YOU and you alone. Do not worry.
I know it's hard, but I really do think you should move on, and let him figure his heart out. It's between him and God, and perhaps his ex.
God Bless.
It seems that he is telling you the truth... don't force the realtionship. If it is meant to be it will be if it is not then it won't... but either way life will go on. Maybe he just needs time. Ask him if he loves you and sees a future with you. If hw says no, then you've got your answer fair and square. If he says I don't know... give him space to figure things out and go on with your life in the meantime! Don't wait around for him by any means... it's not fair to you... you will only become more attached to a ambiguous situation.
Pray for strength to move on and peace with whatever decision you make!
.
Sweetie, you don't need Christian advice on this. Just human. Let him go, he's not ready for a new relationship yet. It doesn't seem to be about you, you know?
You poor thing! You are definitely doing the right thing ending it. You deserve to be with someone who won't compare you or put you second to any other woman. It sounds as though he has a lot of guilt over his divorce. Even if she marries someone else, you shouldn't consider getting back together with him. He's hurt you enough.
While I don't believe that relationships are intended to be perfect, I do think that you deserve to be with some one who recognizes that what you have is the best relationship he's been in. I think it is dishonest to yourself and to what a true relationship is to settle for something less than this. He should have considered these things before he asked you out. If he was being a good Christian, but it's possible that he wasn't fully aware of what level of emotional intimacy a good relationship should entail. God bless.
*help* relationship advice?
Hi all,
I really need some help figuring out my situation...I need good unbiased advice, from non-family or friends.
OK so I recently became a mother for the 1st time and 2 weeks after my child was born his father decided to tell me that he was ';in-love with his ex';.
Now this came @ a shock to me and I was silent for a few days and cried my eyes out. I never knew I would react like this @ all I thought to myself if we split I could handle it. I decided to take myself and my child 50 miles from where me and him was living and to go spend time at my family home, with my loved ones.
I received a text message from him at this point which sounded somewhat regretful as I sent him one along the lines of it's me and my child against the world.
I spent a few days away and had to go back to see the health visitor...by this point I had got over the initial shock and this turned into wanting answers and I asked him why he waited so long to tell me and if he didn't want to be with me why lead me on. He said to me that these feelings just came back suddenly. I asked for the reasons as to why he didn't want to be with me he had no answer.
My initial questioning of the situation turned into anger as I wasn't getting any answers as to why and all he could say was he made his decision and that was his reason for screwing up the relationship.
Anyways I was curious as to what she looked like and found her last name on his facebook page in his friends list (crazy I know) I managed to find a pic of her and I was shocked to see how ugly and manly this girl was...I just couldn't understand the attraction he had 4 her in the 1st place...I know looks aint everything but if u saw her you would question his sexuality.
He got me so made one day that I told him I saw her pic and I told him that she was ugly and manly and basically called him gay...I wanted 2 hurt him like he hurt me. His reply 2 my statement was ';I haven't seen her done up'; correct me if i'm wrong but if your in a relationship with someone and even if you knew that they wasn't the most attractive person, wouldn't you defend them regardless?
So after the anger came the calm on my side we started to get along and he told me he wanted to hug me, so I allowed him to and he started to cry...he gave me signs of him being regretful of his actions but I wasn't prepared to put myself out their to get hurt again. A day passed with us getting along and I think I heard him say ';I love you' to her now after the events the day before I was mad and told him I heard him say I love you to her and he said ';what's the difference between saying it and feeling it'; I flipped and felt so disrespected as he had only left me a week or so ago...he had shown signs of moving on from me in this week but this was the last straw.
I did more things out of anger...no I look back and think why, but people can push you 2 do crazy things.
So we started to get on again as I am able to forgive his wrong doings so quickly (I think that's because we have a child together).
We hug numerous times over the next few days and at this point the way he hugs me is like his holding on for dear life...he squeezes me tightly and at this time he also gets an erection every time we have this physical contact..which I find a little odd as you said you want to be with someone else...infact he said he's in-love with this person (why would you allow your self to get an erection if your in love with someone else?)
I'm going to fast forwards to what happened this week...I'm now living back at my family home...he's moved to the city aswell and he comes and gets his son to spend sometime eith him when he has his days off.
I wrote him a letter expressing my feelings and I asked him to be honest with me as I he owes me that much...
Anyways I read the letter to him when he brought our child back and he said he had to go and he will write me a reply.
So the following day he read his reply...it basically said what he believes is love and it's about finding a companion...etc and he said he needs to figure out the feelings he left unresolved for his ex...etc and things about us.
I then went onto ask him questions and he told me that some days he wants to be with me more than he wants to be with her and it changes on a daily basis. I also asked him if he loves her and he said that you can't just get back with someone after time apart and love them (then why did he do all this?).
He had to go to work and time was cutting short and I drove him a good 3 miles to a bus stop that would allow him enough time to get to work. When I was driving him he spilled he let me in a little more and he said he thinks he wants to be with me...I ignored him as he know where I stand if I take him back he has to be sure he wants and needs me and has dealt with his issue regarding the ex.
I forgot to mention a significant event...I had to go back 2 the city we where living together in and the baby wasn't w*help* relationship advice?
Ok he either wants to be with you or he doesn't. Stop writing him notes and move on. Things will never resolve themselves until you make a clean break from him, child or no child. Stick to your convictions and break free of this immature relationship. Devote your time and energy with your child as he is the most important thing right now. This guy doesn't know what he wants so quit doing things for him and stay away, quit contacting him. He will never figure out what he wants until you are done!stop pimples
I really need some help figuring out my situation...I need good unbiased advice, from non-family or friends.
OK so I recently became a mother for the 1st time and 2 weeks after my child was born his father decided to tell me that he was ';in-love with his ex';.
Now this came @ a shock to me and I was silent for a few days and cried my eyes out. I never knew I would react like this @ all I thought to myself if we split I could handle it. I decided to take myself and my child 50 miles from where me and him was living and to go spend time at my family home, with my loved ones.
I received a text message from him at this point which sounded somewhat regretful as I sent him one along the lines of it's me and my child against the world.
I spent a few days away and had to go back to see the health visitor...by this point I had got over the initial shock and this turned into wanting answers and I asked him why he waited so long to tell me and if he didn't want to be with me why lead me on. He said to me that these feelings just came back suddenly. I asked for the reasons as to why he didn't want to be with me he had no answer.
My initial questioning of the situation turned into anger as I wasn't getting any answers as to why and all he could say was he made his decision and that was his reason for screwing up the relationship.
Anyways I was curious as to what she looked like and found her last name on his facebook page in his friends list (crazy I know) I managed to find a pic of her and I was shocked to see how ugly and manly this girl was...I just couldn't understand the attraction he had 4 her in the 1st place...I know looks aint everything but if u saw her you would question his sexuality.
He got me so made one day that I told him I saw her pic and I told him that she was ugly and manly and basically called him gay...I wanted 2 hurt him like he hurt me. His reply 2 my statement was ';I haven't seen her done up'; correct me if i'm wrong but if your in a relationship with someone and even if you knew that they wasn't the most attractive person, wouldn't you defend them regardless?
So after the anger came the calm on my side we started to get along and he told me he wanted to hug me, so I allowed him to and he started to cry...he gave me signs of him being regretful of his actions but I wasn't prepared to put myself out their to get hurt again. A day passed with us getting along and I think I heard him say ';I love you' to her now after the events the day before I was mad and told him I heard him say I love you to her and he said ';what's the difference between saying it and feeling it'; I flipped and felt so disrespected as he had only left me a week or so ago...he had shown signs of moving on from me in this week but this was the last straw.
I did more things out of anger...no I look back and think why, but people can push you 2 do crazy things.
So we started to get on again as I am able to forgive his wrong doings so quickly (I think that's because we have a child together).
We hug numerous times over the next few days and at this point the way he hugs me is like his holding on for dear life...he squeezes me tightly and at this time he also gets an erection every time we have this physical contact..which I find a little odd as you said you want to be with someone else...infact he said he's in-love with this person (why would you allow your self to get an erection if your in love with someone else?)
I'm going to fast forwards to what happened this week...I'm now living back at my family home...he's moved to the city aswell and he comes and gets his son to spend sometime eith him when he has his days off.
I wrote him a letter expressing my feelings and I asked him to be honest with me as I he owes me that much...
Anyways I read the letter to him when he brought our child back and he said he had to go and he will write me a reply.
So the following day he read his reply...it basically said what he believes is love and it's about finding a companion...etc and he said he needs to figure out the feelings he left unresolved for his ex...etc and things about us.
I then went onto ask him questions and he told me that some days he wants to be with me more than he wants to be with her and it changes on a daily basis. I also asked him if he loves her and he said that you can't just get back with someone after time apart and love them (then why did he do all this?).
He had to go to work and time was cutting short and I drove him a good 3 miles to a bus stop that would allow him enough time to get to work. When I was driving him he spilled he let me in a little more and he said he thinks he wants to be with me...I ignored him as he know where I stand if I take him back he has to be sure he wants and needs me and has dealt with his issue regarding the ex.
I forgot to mention a significant event...I had to go back 2 the city we where living together in and the baby wasn't w*help* relationship advice?
Ok he either wants to be with you or he doesn't. Stop writing him notes and move on. Things will never resolve themselves until you make a clean break from him, child or no child. Stick to your convictions and break free of this immature relationship. Devote your time and energy with your child as he is the most important thing right now. This guy doesn't know what he wants so quit doing things for him and stay away, quit contacting him. He will never figure out what he wants until you are done!
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