*help* relationship advice?

Hi all,





I really need some help figuring out my situation...I need good unbiased advice, from non-family or friends.





OK so I recently became a mother for the 1st time and 2 weeks after my child was born his father decided to tell me that he was ';in-love with his ex';.


Now this came @ a shock to me and I was silent for a few days and cried my eyes out. I never knew I would react like this @ all I thought to myself if we split I could handle it. I decided to take myself and my child 50 miles from where me and him was living and to go spend time at my family home, with my loved ones.





I received a text message from him at this point which sounded somewhat regretful as I sent him one along the lines of it's me and my child against the world.





I spent a few days away and had to go back to see the health visitor...by this point I had got over the initial shock and this turned into wanting answers and I asked him why he waited so long to tell me and if he didn't want to be with me why lead me on. He said to me that these feelings just came back suddenly. I asked for the reasons as to why he didn't want to be with me he had no answer.





My initial questioning of the situation turned into anger as I wasn't getting any answers as to why and all he could say was he made his decision and that was his reason for screwing up the relationship.





Anyways I was curious as to what she looked like and found her last name on his facebook page in his friends list (crazy I know) I managed to find a pic of her and I was shocked to see how ugly and manly this girl was...I just couldn't understand the attraction he had 4 her in the 1st place...I know looks aint everything but if u saw her you would question his sexuality.





He got me so made one day that I told him I saw her pic and I told him that she was ugly and manly and basically called him gay...I wanted 2 hurt him like he hurt me. His reply 2 my statement was ';I haven't seen her done up'; correct me if i'm wrong but if your in a relationship with someone and even if you knew that they wasn't the most attractive person, wouldn't you defend them regardless?





So after the anger came the calm on my side we started to get along and he told me he wanted to hug me, so I allowed him to and he started to cry...he gave me signs of him being regretful of his actions but I wasn't prepared to put myself out their to get hurt again. A day passed with us getting along and I think I heard him say ';I love you' to her now after the events the day before I was mad and told him I heard him say I love you to her and he said ';what's the difference between saying it and feeling it'; I flipped and felt so disrespected as he had only left me a week or so ago...he had shown signs of moving on from me in this week but this was the last straw.





I did more things out of anger...no I look back and think why, but people can push you 2 do crazy things.





So we started to get on again as I am able to forgive his wrong doings so quickly (I think that's because we have a child together).





We hug numerous times over the next few days and at this point the way he hugs me is like his holding on for dear life...he squeezes me tightly and at this time he also gets an erection every time we have this physical contact..which I find a little odd as you said you want to be with someone else...infact he said he's in-love with this person (why would you allow your self to get an erection if your in love with someone else?)





I'm going to fast forwards to what happened this week...I'm now living back at my family home...he's moved to the city aswell and he comes and gets his son to spend sometime eith him when he has his days off.





I wrote him a letter expressing my feelings and I asked him to be honest with me as I he owes me that much...


Anyways I read the letter to him when he brought our child back and he said he had to go and he will write me a reply.





So the following day he read his reply...it basically said what he believes is love and it's about finding a companion...etc and he said he needs to figure out the feelings he left unresolved for his ex...etc and things about us.





I then went onto ask him questions and he told me that some days he wants to be with me more than he wants to be with her and it changes on a daily basis. I also asked him if he loves her and he said that you can't just get back with someone after time apart and love them (then why did he do all this?).





He had to go to work and time was cutting short and I drove him a good 3 miles to a bus stop that would allow him enough time to get to work. When I was driving him he spilled he let me in a little more and he said he thinks he wants to be with me...I ignored him as he know where I stand if I take him back he has to be sure he wants and needs me and has dealt with his issue regarding the ex.





I forgot to mention a significant event...I had to go back 2 the city we where living together in and the baby wasn't w*help* relationship advice?
Ok he either wants to be with you or he doesn't. Stop writing him notes and move on. Things will never resolve themselves until you make a clean break from him, child or no child. Stick to your convictions and break free of this immature relationship. Devote your time and energy with your child as he is the most important thing right now. This guy doesn't know what he wants so quit doing things for him and stay away, quit contacting him. He will never figure out what he wants until you are done!