HELP! Relationship advice needed.?

My fiance's mother told us that we fight with each other too much and that we fight in front of our kids too much and that we treat each other like crap. My fiance agrees with her, but he didnt tell me that he felt like this until his mom said something.His mom wont talk to us because she is so upset about it. What should I do? I am surprised by these accusations.





We have been together for 9 years and we have a 4 year old son %26amp; a 1 year old son.





I want to get married but he tells me that it is not on the top of his list right now.HELP! Relationship advice needed.?
Family counseling is strongly advised.





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*HELP! Relationship advice needed.?
i know you probably dont want to hear this, but i think his mother does not like you, and she does not want you guys to get married, and he doesnt want to go against his mom to marry you, so thats why he's holding off right now. if you guys have been together for nine years and he wants to marry you, then why isn't that on the top of his list right now? ask yourself that. hmm sounds like your'e the one treating this man like crap. my advice is try to relax, let the small stuff go, stop argueing, and especially in front of the little ones. good luck!
Smart mom and son. Listen up you may learn something.
If you already have kids together then you need to tell him you dont care what his mother thinks. And he is only feeling this way because his mother put the thought into his head.


It is about time you get married. You tell him either you get married or you and the children will be leaving him. Enough is enough. It is about time he marries you and gives you his last name.





Tell him marriage is on the top of YOUR list and he better change his list quick or else you are out the door. After you are married you can seek couples counseling if he is so concerned with all the fighting going on. And if he wont seek couples counseling then he isnt really concerned with the fighting.
I think you need to go through couple's counseling. Do know though that you should NEVER EVER EVER fight in front of your children because that seriously hurts them. If you need to fight then you take it to your bedroom. Also have you ever considered that you guys don't communicate enough because if you fight as much as you do that usually means you let problems build up and explode. Why don't you talk to your fiance and tell him that you want to begin talking to each other upfront which means if you have a problem or you are thinking something then you tell each other what your problem is.
family counseling.
If you guys can't quit fighting, then you are definitely not in a place to get married right now. You could try couple's counseling but you might have to face the fact that you guys are just not very compatible. You might find that you would be much happier by yourself and eventually with someone you are more compatible with. I continued to date a guy for 3 years even though we were completely incompatible. I wish I would have ended things much sooner than I did. But no, marriage should not be on the top of your list right now either. Fixing your relationship and taking care of your kids is priority.
Well when was the last time you guys went for couples' counselling? Just because some of the people here who suggest it are also peddling bad advice, doesn't meant that counselling isn't a good idea. There are two possible problems here: one is that you guys are fighting too much, and counselling can help by making sure you guys realize what the underlying issues are. It can also help by giving you two tricks for fighting more effectively, which can result in problems getting resolved, and fewer fights happening.





The other possibility (and sorry, but this is less likely), is that your fiance's family thinks that couples shouldn't argue. I know some people who think that, and while it is incredibly stupid and can cause a lot of harm, it's not unheard of. In this case, your fiance and you can learn what is an effective fight, and when it's a good fight and when it's a bad fight.





No matter which the problem is, the counsellor can give you advice for dealing with your mother-in-law.





And this should be in addition to the normal premarital counselling. That tends to be very short, and wouldn't suffice to address serious problems. It's like how you wouldn't go for a general check-up if you were seriously ill, you'd make a doctor's appointment for that complaint.





If your fiance will not go with you, then go alone. If money is an issue, there are many organizations that charge on a sliding scale based on income, see if you can find any in your area. The only one I know of is www.shalomcounselling.org .





Given that you guys have kids, you need to resolve this problem. Put as much effort into it as you would to save a marriage - just walking away really isn't an option.