Sticky relationship advice needed......?

My partner and I have been together just over a year and a half. He left his wife bout 6 months b4 I was on the seen and he has two kids with her. At new year she attempted to take her own life and he has since got temp custody of their two children as he was worried about what she might do while the kids were in her care. I hardly get to see him anymore as he has the kids full time and is living with his parents for the time being. If I do go over to visit his eldest doesnt like leaving us in the room together as she thinks that we will start kissing behind her back. ( Which we make a point of NOT doing while the kids are around) I have since found out that my partner hasn't told the kids that I am his girlfriend and that were are just good friends. I am really struggling to cope with being treated like a naughty little secret. I can't talk to him on the phone coz his kids are always listening and I hardly see him anymore. I dont know what to do. Am I being selfish?? :(Sticky relationship advice needed......?
all credit to your man for putting his children first, mentally emotionally and physically. Dont make this into a battle for him or you'll loose him.


Right now he needs your support by being patient. He'll love you all the more for it later on.


It is important that children arent rushed into new situations until they are able to deal with it.


Dont take the childrens behaviour personally, they just not as able to express or control their feelings as adults can.


I made my current husband wait 9 months before i even introduced him as a friend to my girl!


If you love him, hang on in there and support himSticky relationship advice needed......?
This is unfortunate.





Here's the lowdown, his kids come first.





They are very vulnerable right now based on mom and dad not being together and mom try to end her life. Yes, you are being selfish by thinking you deserve certain things, but maybe that's just a lack of life experience. You have to understand that any man who is a good father will put his kids first, and that means you never will be. If this is not what you want, respectfully find the exit.
This man has more baggage than Terminal 5 and it is not fair on you that he has not even been honest about you. That will be more difficult to rectify as time goes by and your visits increase.


You need and deserve to have someone who is prepared to be honest and open about you - That is a way of showing love.





Best wishes
No you are not. In this situation you have to give him credit, he is prioirtising his kids, which is what he should do. However, this does not mean that you have to be part of it. He is obviously not in the right place at the moment to be able to deal with you and the kids.
No you`re not selfish.It semms to me your partner is the selfish one and should devote more time to you , and tell his kids about you . Life moves on and that`s what he has to do!!
You're being foolish. The man has too much on his plate AND it sounds like he's still married, Leave him alone and find a guy who is emotionally ready for a relationship. This one isn't.
Married men usually come with baggage.


You have two choices.


Be very patient or move on.


Me, I would choose the latter.
This is a tough one.! I can sympathize with his Wife at this point, from what youv'e described, he gets married brings two kids into World then dumps her after she had to go through all that. ? Is this the kind of guy you really want to hang around with. ? It is understandable how his Wife feels, Where I do not condone suicide as a solution, I can certainly understand her depression, after all what has she left to look forward to. ? and now he's taken the kids away as well...wow, what a compassionate individual he must be.!
No you are not being selfish at all.


It is a shame that things have gone so wrong ....but I think you will have to accept they have.


It seems that for the foreseeable future your boy friend needs to put his children first.


I don't agree with the way he is doing it...it is cruel to cut you out in this way...but perhaps that is the only way he can cope with this situation.


You need to talk to him and ask him do you have a future together.


You need to know if and when he is going to tell his family that you are not just a good friend.


If he intends to leave the situation as it is for much longer I would say there really isn't much hope for you having a relationship.


His children have feelings....but so do you.. and he needs to think about that !!!!!!
you have to see things from the children stand point. if you were going through what they are going through wouldn't you practically HATE any woman ';taking your mother place';. you might not be doing that, but i can guarantee you that that is how they are seeing it.


you can either give it time, and let things work out, or you can leave and try to find someone who deserves you.


this man has allot going on right now, and with children life doesn't get easier, it gets harder.


do you want to eventually be a step-mother?


do you want a man that can easily forget you exist?


do you want a man who will lie to his children about you?


i hope it helps, and that things work themselves out for you.
No but things have changed now, he has commitments that take priority over you at the moment, and this could take a while as the cchildren are obviously feeling very insecure with life at the moment with the mum being unstable, so you have 2 choices, leave the man to raise his hildren alone, or tell him you will take things slowly because of he children, after all he can always see you when then children are in bed, and phone you then also, if you cannot commit to this life then you will have to finish it and find some one who is free.,
No your not being selfish but your partner is doing the right thing, he has to put his kids first and at the moment you have to respect that he has his hands full. If i were you i would distance yourself, explain that you really care for him and you understand the situation he is in is difficult at the moment but you need someone who can be there for you and put you first. If you think that when things settle down there could be a future for you then leave the door open, tell him to contact you when his life has settled down abit and his kids are in a more emotionaly stable place that they would be able to cope with him being in a relationship then put yourself first and have some fun, go out with your friends and enjoy life.