I've been going out with this guy for 1 year and 9 months and we had some pretty big fights lately over some stupidest crapboth decided that we need to break from each other because we both have things going on with framily and friend problems.
like his friend commited sucide and a few of my family members died lately and im still grieving. so now we are basically broken up even though we love each other a lot but have a hard way of showing it.
my question is: what can i do to save a relationship so we arent apart forever and what kind of nice things could we do when we are back together if that ever happens?
it really hurts because hes the only one i could ever connect with in my whole life and i dont have to pretend to be anyone else when im around him i can just be me. plus we've had so many experiences with each other. help me please.
I ONLY want people to answer if its serious, if its not then ill give a thumbs down. thanks.
jennaI need some relationship advice. serious answers only please.?
To be honest this should be a time when you both need each other. No matter what is going on the point should be you love each other, thats not going to change and to except it the way it is. My fiance and I rarely fight but when we do it's over pronto. But it takes a lot more then love to be with someone and to build a solid life together. Trust, intimacy, compassion, empathy, FRIENDSHIP. If he is the only one you could connect with, you should want that connection more then ever now. But if you don't or he doesn't then maybe you need to ask yourself some hard questions. These are tough times for your relationship but I guarantee there will be plenty more. Are you willing to take a ';break'; every time something happens. Or would you rather have someone who is going to stand by your side?I need some relationship advice. serious answers only please.?
I guess the only thing you can do is keep in touch and help one another by being supportive of one another but give one another the space to work on your own separate issues. but basically all i can say is be supportive to one another and patient and if you get lonely and just want to go out and enjoy his company for awhile then just ask him if that'll be alright to do. I hope that helps you some.
What is most important is that you take the time out you've given each other to reflect on the things that have caused you to drift apart. Work on the things you feel have fallen under your responsibility. Give yourselves enough time to work things out individually. Getting back together too prematurely would cause the same things to happen again. Don't dwell on things you could do once you're back together since if things are worked out individually all good things will happen in the end.
I've never been in a situation anywhere near yours, but all you can do is make sure to spend time focusing on each other. And only each other. If it's a half hour a day or something like that, just give your full attention to him.
Don't hold your problems away from him. Let him in. Hopefully he will do likewise for you.
Best wishes to you both.
i would say...
if you two BOTH really care about each other.. get back together now... if you cant go thru the hard times... then in the future if you get together.. you will have the same trouble... when problems in a relationship happen.. you have to stick together.. not break up... even if you fight... everyone fights.. my guy and i have had horrible fights.. and we have been together over three years now.. seriously.. talking about things after you calm down is how a relationship works.. i hope this helps alittle bit... much love..
well do you still talk to him on a daily basis?
It is important to call him or txt to make sure that he still thinks that your his number one! and vice versa.
Other than try to talk regularly and keep it polite for now.
And when your ready to go on date at your guys favorite place to try to reignite that original spark!
Hi Jenna,
Seems like ur facing a big problem these days. but this stage comes in every relationship. It all depends on hw u handle it!
If u both love each other then there r many ways of saving the relationship.
the best way is start frm ZERO
I mean start like u start a new relationship and then you wil see the result.
thats all I can say!
Bye
tace care
For more details mail me at yusuf.nanabhai@gmail.com
I think you should just enjoy the space you have. Once you guys work your own problems then you can work out relationship problems. Just let him know you love him, call him everyother day and in time you'll be back together, but for now just enjoy your space.
I would say that you guys might just be meant to be close friends it isn't a bad thing i dated a girl for 2 years then we broke up and we are great friends. you will feel the need to date them but if its meant to be it'll happen eventually
just be honest with him
and tell him that u dont want to breakup
tell him that no matter what any kind of fights
u 2 sem to get in its not worth losing eachother
]over it
just remember honesty is the best policy
hopes this helps
=]
You should tell him you love him...now do it gently guys will get scared about tis most of the time....don't seem to stuffy around him...he'll hate that and last but not least BE YOUR SELF!!!!
Never give up on the person you don't go a day without thinking about them
fight for him, the remember how you feel when you're apart.
be ready to compromise
some relationships don't work out at times especially right now so give it time and see
Jenna, I know how you feel... I had a problem similar to this with a serious gf a few years back. Here is my advice, first of all.... if you REALLY need a break, take the break and don't see each other for a while, but don't use the break as an excuse to see other people (not saying you will, but alot of people use that as an excuse). If you love each other the way you say you do, then in my opinion you shouldn't need a break. If you have both had people close to you die recently, then that should open your eyes even more to how precious life is.... and you should both be there for each other. Stop fighting over the little things, and enjoy your life together.
Unfortunately, one break in a relationship usually leeds to another longer one and another until the relationship eventually ends.... that is why i suggested to try and work things out without the break.
I hope things work out between the two of you.
My boyfriend and I fight a lot too, sometimes about the stupidest things. This is normal, especially if you have stressful things going on in your life. People sometimes don't know to grieve or to ';deal'; with certain situations, and so they tend to take it out on someone they are close with like their mate.
It seems like this would be a period where you would need each other the most but are instead pushing each other away but not addressing specific issues. I agree with others who say that it is important to be honest, which is a very hard thing to do. You decided to break up even though you didn't want to, so maybe he feels the same way, and is also afraid to confront you.
My suggestion is to go out for a coffee or something, or even better go for a walk or do something physical. The conversation will come naturally if you are that close. Another thing you may be able to do is before you meet up with him, write a letter if you dont think you can verbalize what it is you are trying to say. He can read it when you meet up, and as weird as it sounds it works for me sometimes. I wish you the best of luck and sorry this is so long.
It's always hard to go through moments like these. It could be a good idea to take a counseling class together. For it sounds that your breaking up is caused more by problems exterior to your relationship. So what you really ned is to sit down and analyze what has happened to you, make a decision on how to go through that hard time and not let him destroy your relationship. You need to communicate, to talk about your problems and understand that you need to support each other emotionally. That's the best way to save your relationship.
First thing to do is share him these ideas, mainly that you think you are still in love and have har time showing it, if he does not share this view you have to forget about it and walk on, on the other hand If he believes you are in love then you have broken the ice and did you both a favor.
Now if you are ever back, don't avoid problems or arguments, but avoid judgments and perceptions,and keep in mind the weight of the argument issue, is it crucial or simple? you can have a rule of break any arguments for 10 mins, thinking about each other point and continue later.
I don't think anyone can really tell you exactly what to do. All I can offer is some advice as to how to do it.
In my experience, it is very hard to have a conversation about the complicated issues you are both dealing with at this point. Yet it is very important that you be articulate and unequivocal too. I think you should sit down, think very carefully about how you feel, what is bothering you, and what you want from the relationship, and then write a letter.
Unless you feel it is appropriate, I would stay away from ultimatums. In any case, some of the things you feel you need to say are right here in your question.
Writing a letter allows you to get it all in there - exactly the way you want to say it without interruption - and sends a message that what you are saying in very important.
You mentioned that it only hurts because you believe he is the only one that you can connect with but how are you so sure of that if you have not been all over the world. There are sooo many people in the world. Are you with him because he is your security blanket and you don't think you can get anyone else? you can work on your individual selves first and realize that love is only limited because you yourselves make it so. Once you can come to terms with the truth then you can decide who you want to share that time and love with the most.
Good luck
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Help relationship advice please!!!!!?
I'm 18 years old and I've never had a bf till a week ago. and I was afraid of getting one because I'm afraid of going through a break up. I mean I've seen people breaking up and it seem so painful. So ever since I got with him the only thing I've been thinking about is when is the break up going to come.
Relationship is so far very good...but it's not like I'm gonna marry the first person I date and kiss. So chances are a break up is gonna come someday.
I don't know...I can't take this anymore.
Should I just tell him this is all a mistake and I'm really not ready yet? I know I should just really chill out but I really can't stand it anymore.
thank you.Help relationship advice please!!!!!?
Ya i agree answer mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>Help relationship advice please!!!!!?
Try it for another week. If you feel the same way then ask your bf about it and see how he feels. If he can meet your needs on any level he should be able to answer your question. If he can't then its time to dump and burn. Here's the question, ';What do you like about me and why do you enjoy going out together?'; Good luck.
hosetly realationships are alot more then just the endings. u just started the realationship chill for a while get 2 know eachother just calm down!!! break ups do suck but dnt bring yrself down by thinking of them relax. evry goes thorugh one and evryone hates them. wait an c wat happens for u and if yr not really ready for the realationship talk to him about it maybe u can figure somthin out.... good luck =)
Hon,
You've been dating a week, you first bf? It's time to start, if you never get hurt you'll never know if you're really in love.
NO! If you really like him, then keep going. Breaking up is a part of life, and if you tell him it was a mistake, won't that be considered a break-up??
I understand that you are feeling scared, but not everyone goes through heartwrenching breakups. And plus, you shouldn't even be worrying about breaking up at this moment. You should be all googly over him, dreaming about being with him forever and ever. That's what relationships are built on; two people believing that they will be together forever.
If you break it off, you will never know what you could have missed.
Relationship is so far very good...but it's not like I'm gonna marry the first person I date and kiss. So chances are a break up is gonna come someday.
I don't know...I can't take this anymore.
Should I just tell him this is all a mistake and I'm really not ready yet? I know I should just really chill out but I really can't stand it anymore.
thank you.Help relationship advice please!!!!!?
Ya i agree answer mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>Help relationship advice please!!!!!?
Try it for another week. If you feel the same way then ask your bf about it and see how he feels. If he can meet your needs on any level he should be able to answer your question. If he can't then its time to dump and burn. Here's the question, ';What do you like about me and why do you enjoy going out together?'; Good luck.
hosetly realationships are alot more then just the endings. u just started the realationship chill for a while get 2 know eachother just calm down!!! break ups do suck but dnt bring yrself down by thinking of them relax. evry goes thorugh one and evryone hates them. wait an c wat happens for u and if yr not really ready for the realationship talk to him about it maybe u can figure somthin out.... good luck =)
Hon,
You've been dating a week, you first bf? It's time to start, if you never get hurt you'll never know if you're really in love.
NO! If you really like him, then keep going. Breaking up is a part of life, and if you tell him it was a mistake, won't that be considered a break-up??
I understand that you are feeling scared, but not everyone goes through heartwrenching breakups. And plus, you shouldn't even be worrying about breaking up at this moment. You should be all googly over him, dreaming about being with him forever and ever. That's what relationships are built on; two people believing that they will be together forever.
If you break it off, you will never know what you could have missed.
Serious relationship advice... HELP PLEASE!?
I know this is going to sound bad, and I don't want people to think I'm incredibally naive, but please note that I'm direly in love with this person and we're engaged.
The day before he was supposed to come up and see me we went to Northgate mall together and were being all snuggly on the bus when he tells me his ex from california is coming up. I kind of shrugged it off, since I'm not that jelouse of a person. Well, we go inside and sit down for 'dinner' in the food court and starts this awkward conversation starting with 'I think you'd find her attractive', after she texts him asking if he thinks I'd find her attractive. I said 'I don't know'. Then he goes on for about 2 whole minutes about how 'hot' she is, even so that his gay friend said 'Daaaamn' when he saw her. She asks him if I'd kiss her, he asks me and I say, ';NO';. Damnit. Then he goes on to tell me she's a sex addict and that the thing they had back in the day was more of a fling... maybe trying to make me for comfortable? Finally, I look him in the face and ask, ';Let me get this straight, you want your SUPER HOT ex SEX ADDICT to come up here, and she's going to feel uncomfortable unless you guys get some ALONE time?...'; FINALLY he says ';Well, you know babe, I'd totally understand if you didn't want her to come up. If I were in your shoes I would be flipping out, so if you don't want her to come up, you just say the word.'; Should he at any point thought that was supposed to be ok?....
The next day, we fooled around in this wooded area, and later on he told me he was texting his ex wife while we had sex.... I said, ';NO WAY! NO....No..That is NOT ok. DON'T do that.'; He turned it into a joke, but he wasn't joking about texting her, he really did. I really love him, I really do, and all he wants is for me to go to him when I feel upset so he can be there for me and he can be very VERY affectionate. He says he's more excited about being with me then anyone he's ever been with and I'm the reason he sings in public now, and he says it a lot, including telling me how beautiful I am. He can also be a total air-head DICK...
The other day at a party I through, the other 3 guys there thought he treated me like **** and did NOT like him, which I was un-aware of until I spoke with my friend Danielle today. All her brother wants is for me to be with someone that treats me right (He's my ex), but I'm really unsure what to do. I do love him....
Am I wasting my time?
I'm hoping there's possibly hope?
I want to be with him forever but I don't want to waste my time on someone who's either that stupid or lacks that much...care. Advice?Serious relationship advice... HELP PLEASE!?
That is bizarre behavior. It seems like he was either intentionally trying to make you jealous or trying to set up a three-some. I really don't know what else to say about that.
If he's a dick to you and your friends can point it out, that is definitely an issue. If he wants you to be able to go to him about anything, than you should talk to him about that. Guys can say stupid things here and there and say stuff that comes out wrong, but the way you treat someone is completely controllable. If he loves you, cares about you, and wants to be with you, he should treat you well all the time.
I would sit down with him and tell him all your concerns.Serious relationship advice... HELP PLEASE!?
drop him.
lose him.
forget him.
i no yu love him...buh that is sooo Sketchy...if i were yu i wudve been FLIPPING OUT on him....props for keeping yur cool
The day before he was supposed to come up and see me we went to Northgate mall together and were being all snuggly on the bus when he tells me his ex from california is coming up. I kind of shrugged it off, since I'm not that jelouse of a person. Well, we go inside and sit down for 'dinner' in the food court and starts this awkward conversation starting with 'I think you'd find her attractive', after she texts him asking if he thinks I'd find her attractive. I said 'I don't know'. Then he goes on for about 2 whole minutes about how 'hot' she is, even so that his gay friend said 'Daaaamn' when he saw her. She asks him if I'd kiss her, he asks me and I say, ';NO';. Damnit. Then he goes on to tell me she's a sex addict and that the thing they had back in the day was more of a fling... maybe trying to make me for comfortable? Finally, I look him in the face and ask, ';Let me get this straight, you want your SUPER HOT ex SEX ADDICT to come up here, and she's going to feel uncomfortable unless you guys get some ALONE time?...'; FINALLY he says ';Well, you know babe, I'd totally understand if you didn't want her to come up. If I were in your shoes I would be flipping out, so if you don't want her to come up, you just say the word.'; Should he at any point thought that was supposed to be ok?....
The next day, we fooled around in this wooded area, and later on he told me he was texting his ex wife while we had sex.... I said, ';NO WAY! NO....No..That is NOT ok. DON'T do that.'; He turned it into a joke, but he wasn't joking about texting her, he really did. I really love him, I really do, and all he wants is for me to go to him when I feel upset so he can be there for me and he can be very VERY affectionate. He says he's more excited about being with me then anyone he's ever been with and I'm the reason he sings in public now, and he says it a lot, including telling me how beautiful I am. He can also be a total air-head DICK...
The other day at a party I through, the other 3 guys there thought he treated me like **** and did NOT like him, which I was un-aware of until I spoke with my friend Danielle today. All her brother wants is for me to be with someone that treats me right (He's my ex), but I'm really unsure what to do. I do love him....
Am I wasting my time?
I'm hoping there's possibly hope?
I want to be with him forever but I don't want to waste my time on someone who's either that stupid or lacks that much...care. Advice?Serious relationship advice... HELP PLEASE!?
That is bizarre behavior. It seems like he was either intentionally trying to make you jealous or trying to set up a three-some. I really don't know what else to say about that.
If he's a dick to you and your friends can point it out, that is definitely an issue. If he wants you to be able to go to him about anything, than you should talk to him about that. Guys can say stupid things here and there and say stuff that comes out wrong, but the way you treat someone is completely controllable. If he loves you, cares about you, and wants to be with you, he should treat you well all the time.
I would sit down with him and tell him all your concerns.Serious relationship advice... HELP PLEASE!?
drop him.
lose him.
forget him.
i no yu love him...buh that is sooo Sketchy...if i were yu i wudve been FLIPPING OUT on him....props for keeping yur cool
Mature relationship advice. We are still sneaking around help.?
This is kinda sad and embarrassing, but I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years now, and we are still hiding our relationship. We have to hid our relationship from our parents even though we are in our mid twenties. We are from two totally different parts of the world but born in the US, and we are from different religions, Muslim and Christian, and so that is the reason why we hid our long relationship from them. I really love him, but I am getting to the breaking point were it will be so much better to just call it quits. I really just wanna come clean and stop hiding, but i don't know if its better to stay hidden so that I could avoid the calamity that the realization of our relationship could cause. Please only mature answersMature relationship advice. We are still sneaking around help.?
I was in a situation similar to this. My husband (boyfriend at the time) is black, and I am white. My parents didn't approve of our relationship either and didn't meet him until 4 years into our relationship when I told them we were engaged. Now, they love him. There comes a point where you have to sit back and think about a few things:
1. Is the relationship worth possibly losing your family over?
2. If you ever get married, is the other going to expect your children to
follow their religion?
3. Will either of you expect that the other be ';converted';?
Right now it's not fair to either of you to keep hiding your relationship. It probably really is taking a toll on your emotions. You just have to search deep in your heart and do what's right.
*Heather- www.youravon.com/heatherwilliamson*Mature relationship advice. We are still sneaking around help.?
You could be surprised that the families accept this relationship. I think if you approach it maturely and tell them that you love all parties involved. At some point you will have to tell them and if you break up because of them, you will live a life of resentment towards them. Also if both of you take an awerness class in both religions, so you understand both sides. Your knowledge of the others religion could help with the tell of your parents. Good Luck
if i were you, i would stop fearing my parents and be open about it. you are both adults for christ sake. if your parents cannot handle it, that is too bad for them. you are adults and it is your choice who you date, not theirs! who knows, they may not even have a problem with it! but you must do something, hiding a four year relationship at your age is ridiculous. good luck you to
Im going through the same thing girl. Listen, you are a muslim so make sure you don't do anything ';haram'; if you already have, shame one you...me and my bf don't do things like that. we just talk because he is willing to wait till marriage. He is catholic and i am muslim. but i wish you luck. pray a lot to allah and tell your parents very slowly..start off as hes my best friend..and from there pick it up slowly
You have to know how the Muslim side will react. I have heard of some families who would kill or disown their kids if they found they were dating outside of their religion. This is why it is always best to date someone with similar beliefs. Have you thought about how your children will be raised?
You're in a tough spot, but you can't have it both ways. You can't have the peace of your families not knowing, AND the happiness of being together. You have to pick one, and stick with it. If he's worth it, you'll get your parents together some place private and just straight out tell them. Let them know you''ve been together for four years, and that you're happy, and you hope that they can be happy for your both, too. You're grown-ups, so while your families may disapprove, you need to do what's right for yourself and choose your own path.
You'll never be happy if you spend all your time and energy trying to make your families happy.
Good luck!
I've not been in your situation and I'm not going to try to completely understand because I know that Muslim religion has a lot different values and morals than mine. But, if I were in your situation, I would definitely bring out the relationship.. Mixed relationships whether they be race or religion happen often and many of them succeed. If you have the ability to look past their religion and love them then you are Truly in love with them and not a judgmental person. I understand that it'd probably going to be difficult, mostly with both your parents right? My parents hated my man for a long time because of his bad past.. and while it's not as drastic as your situation they still hated him for the same reason: because they love me. Try to make both families understand that you two are in it for the long haul no matter what they say and that you would really love their support. It's gonna suck in the beginning and be really hard, but as long as you two are prepared and stay strong you'll make it.
And if worst comes to worst, you will decide to go separate ways and it wasn't meant to be anyways. Cliche I know, but true. Good luck!!
I was in a situation similar to this. My husband (boyfriend at the time) is black, and I am white. My parents didn't approve of our relationship either and didn't meet him until 4 years into our relationship when I told them we were engaged. Now, they love him. There comes a point where you have to sit back and think about a few things:
1. Is the relationship worth possibly losing your family over?
2. If you ever get married, is the other going to expect your children to
follow their religion?
3. Will either of you expect that the other be ';converted';?
Right now it's not fair to either of you to keep hiding your relationship. It probably really is taking a toll on your emotions. You just have to search deep in your heart and do what's right.
*Heather- www.youravon.com/heatherwilliamson*Mature relationship advice. We are still sneaking around help.?
You could be surprised that the families accept this relationship. I think if you approach it maturely and tell them that you love all parties involved. At some point you will have to tell them and if you break up because of them, you will live a life of resentment towards them. Also if both of you take an awerness class in both religions, so you understand both sides. Your knowledge of the others religion could help with the tell of your parents. Good Luck
if i were you, i would stop fearing my parents and be open about it. you are both adults for christ sake. if your parents cannot handle it, that is too bad for them. you are adults and it is your choice who you date, not theirs! who knows, they may not even have a problem with it! but you must do something, hiding a four year relationship at your age is ridiculous. good luck you to
Im going through the same thing girl. Listen, you are a muslim so make sure you don't do anything ';haram'; if you already have, shame one you...me and my bf don't do things like that. we just talk because he is willing to wait till marriage. He is catholic and i am muslim. but i wish you luck. pray a lot to allah and tell your parents very slowly..start off as hes my best friend..and from there pick it up slowly
You have to know how the Muslim side will react. I have heard of some families who would kill or disown their kids if they found they were dating outside of their religion. This is why it is always best to date someone with similar beliefs. Have you thought about how your children will be raised?
You're in a tough spot, but you can't have it both ways. You can't have the peace of your families not knowing, AND the happiness of being together. You have to pick one, and stick with it. If he's worth it, you'll get your parents together some place private and just straight out tell them. Let them know you''ve been together for four years, and that you're happy, and you hope that they can be happy for your both, too. You're grown-ups, so while your families may disapprove, you need to do what's right for yourself and choose your own path.
You'll never be happy if you spend all your time and energy trying to make your families happy.
Good luck!
I've not been in your situation and I'm not going to try to completely understand because I know that Muslim religion has a lot different values and morals than mine. But, if I were in your situation, I would definitely bring out the relationship.. Mixed relationships whether they be race or religion happen often and many of them succeed. If you have the ability to look past their religion and love them then you are Truly in love with them and not a judgmental person. I understand that it'd probably going to be difficult, mostly with both your parents right? My parents hated my man for a long time because of his bad past.. and while it's not as drastic as your situation they still hated him for the same reason: because they love me. Try to make both families understand that you two are in it for the long haul no matter what they say and that you would really love their support. It's gonna suck in the beginning and be really hard, but as long as you two are prepared and stay strong you'll make it.
And if worst comes to worst, you will decide to go separate ways and it wasn't meant to be anyways. Cliche I know, but true. Good luck!!
Serious relationship advice needed.?
Hi everyone, I have been seeing a man for four years on and off. The first part of our relationship was 2 and a half years, then we split.....his choice. but we got back together properly 9 months later after both having the odd very short relationship. one month after getting back ( last dec) his mum was diagnosedwith motor neurone disease and she sadly passed away one month ago, leaving him living with his dad.
During the time his mum was ill, he looked after her and I saw him about once a week if that. I am living with my folks at the mo, as due to being made redundant could not afford to keep up the rent on my house ( the same house he was supposed to move into with me before we split) I want to approach him about us moving in together............When and how should I do this, I do feel I am being messed around by this man. PS I am 38.....he is 36.Serious relationship advice needed.?
Firstly, if you feel like you are being messed around by this man, why would you want to suggest moving in together?
I understand about taking care of elderly/sick parents, however you are both adults and truly should not be living with your parents. I can understand an elderly parent living with YOU, but not you living with/off of them.
I'm hoping you are both employed and should be able to have your own residences. Perhaps now is not the time to share a home. Perhaps he's not ';the one';.
Best wishes whatever you decide to do.Serious relationship advice needed.?
Stay single. He comes into your life by accident. Not the most handsome but he has a strength. your mother has something to do with the way you will meet. wait. your father says wait.oily skin
During the time his mum was ill, he looked after her and I saw him about once a week if that. I am living with my folks at the mo, as due to being made redundant could not afford to keep up the rent on my house ( the same house he was supposed to move into with me before we split) I want to approach him about us moving in together............When and how should I do this, I do feel I am being messed around by this man. PS I am 38.....he is 36.Serious relationship advice needed.?
Firstly, if you feel like you are being messed around by this man, why would you want to suggest moving in together?
I understand about taking care of elderly/sick parents, however you are both adults and truly should not be living with your parents. I can understand an elderly parent living with YOU, but not you living with/off of them.
I'm hoping you are both employed and should be able to have your own residences. Perhaps now is not the time to share a home. Perhaps he's not ';the one';.
Best wishes whatever you decide to do.Serious relationship advice needed.?
Stay single. He comes into your life by accident. Not the most handsome but he has a strength. your mother has something to do with the way you will meet. wait. your father says wait.
Need relationship advice ..Please........?
keep taking the blame for my ex of 3 years and his abuse and our break up. We have been split for 4 months now and he wants nothing to do with me, I find myself calling him every now and then and falling back, He doesnt answer- But anyhow ill be good for a week and then call him again. I can only seem to think of the good times when we had so many bad. I feel like nothing with out him, and tried everything, enrolling back in college, new apt., friends, proffesionals, etc. Nothing , not even time and its really heart renching. Need serious advice.Need relationship advice ..Please........?
GET INTO COUNSELING!!! If you are still calling him, then you are more needy than any advice that we can give you on-line. He must be laughing pretty hard when he sees your number pop up on caller ID. He must be sooooooo proud of himself, that he's such a great catch now you can't let go.
Don't you have any self-esteem?? Why would you want him laughing at you and telling all his family and friends how pathetic you are? Don't you realize that he can apply to the court to get a restraining order against you because you're harassing him? Trying to contact someone repeatedly when it's obvious that they don't want any contact with you is harassment!!
I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt but I went to a counselor, a holistic counseor, and I got help!!Need relationship advice ..Please........?
Blame after 3 years should not be an issue. It was over, it is over, it is over. You have to let go of the falling back routine. You should take advantage of what you learned in this sorry relationship and move forward. Sure, it hurts and is heart renching, but after a time you have to just recognize these issues as facts and try to make new meaningful realtionships.
Time is only effective in healing if you let the past be the past. If you continue to focus on the past, it becomes your present (and nobody elses!).
You are doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different to result. This is the definition of insanity, and this is where you will stay until you forgive yourself and others for the past and make plans for the future. Then, time will heal and you will become more focused on the now and be happier.
write everything you feel about this man in a letter, the good, the bad, and the ugly, then put it in an envelope, adress it as if you were going to send it......stand over the garbage can and cut it up, and as you cut it into pieces, say aloud ';I'm letting you go.';
It sounds like you have tried everything. I guess the only thing you have left is to try to find a different counselor to talk to because this one is obviously not helping you. Have you tried depression meds or anything? Maybe you should try that. At least the logical part of you knows this wasn't your fault. Good luck and stay strong.
stop calln him every few weeks or a few months it doesnt matter just cutt him off completely or youll get hurt even more having your hopes up only to be put down after a while you will stop wanting to call him find someone new someone to keep u happy n have more good times then bad
(and really cutt him off thats the #1 step!!!)
You need to find anothrt man. Trust me, it's the only way to get over your ex.
You will have a new love to think about, and your ex will barely ever cross your mind.
good luck!
heres the best piece of advice i got...
Jenna Haze+vaseline+jackin off=good times...
try doin somethin that involves push and pull or somthin..
Give it some more time. Every thing happens for a reason and time go's by fast enough! You will be ok in time.
find another person dear. 4 months you have already lost him. Forget him start life with new light :)
For one, you are safe and not having to put up with the abuse.
You need to take time to heal yourself from all the abuse.You matter a lot to all those who are around you. It seems you did not matter to the ex at all.
And it be best to take this time of healing, and surely there is one man
out there, who will think the world of you and would do his best to care for you in spite of the ex.
The ex was verbal abusive with me and i do the best i can to keep away from him, cause I have 2 girls and no one deserves to be hit or verbal abuse, no one deserves it.
Hope this has been helpful~
Yours truly~
sissa~
My advice to you is to take a step back at reevaluate yourself and your life. I am or WAS in a very similar situation.. someone i have been dating for on and off for 5 years.. I was becoming obssessive and wanted to contact him. It is NOT healthy for you and your state of mind. You need to focus on value yourself and having that respect for yourself. It seems to me that he does not respect you, so why would you want to be with someone who thinks less of you.
They say to keep busy, but dont do it JUST to keep your mind off him, DO IT because YOU HAVE A LIFE!! You have to want it bad enough to move on..
Good luck!
Hi Shhh,
Have you lost it or something. Why is it that us girls are so needy. I have found that guys are interested in sex and we are interested in relationships. Once they get the sex they know that they don't have to hang around, but they do cause they can get what ever they want and need from us and they aren't giving us much of anything. We seem to be satisfied with the mere fact that that are around us. They are always the ones that get the best of everything in the relationships. The love really don't seem like love we just act like it is. When there is a break up the man can walk away from us and get with someone else as though we didn't exist, but us we will take them back in a heart beat no matter how rough the relationship was. We act as though there is no other man on the planet. There have been women who know of guys that would give them the world, but they are so in love with this guy that don't give a dam that they can't imagine living a loving and prosperous life with a man that loves the fat around her gut. When you break up with a guy you are not suppose to give up on life. He is not worth all that. It doesn't matter the reason the fact is you are no longer his girl. So now you are free to do what ever and who ever you choose. Do you remember the days before you met him. You need to go back to being your old self. You are smart and you are strong and the way you have fallen into the dump as though that is your rightful place is discouraging to other woman. We need to set examples for each other. No one can help how they feel about a man, sometimes the things that happen in a
relationship can't be helped, but you can help how you feel about you. Read what you wrote at the bottom of your cry for help.( I can only seem to think of the good times when we had so many bad. I feel like nothing with out him, and tried everything, enrolling back in college, new apt., friends, proffesionals, etc. Nothing , not even time and its really heart wrenching. Need serious advice. Do all the things you say you. I have given you some serious advice.) First thing forget about him start thinking about you and if someone came to you with a similar problem what could you tell them other than you had gone through the same thing. So climb out of the dump. Dress yourself up put on your pretty face and join the land of the living. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of thinking I was hurt over him even if I was. Now get ready to be someone's girl friend that will really respect, protect and love you like you deserve.
GET INTO COUNSELING!!! If you are still calling him, then you are more needy than any advice that we can give you on-line. He must be laughing pretty hard when he sees your number pop up on caller ID. He must be sooooooo proud of himself, that he's such a great catch now you can't let go.
Don't you have any self-esteem?? Why would you want him laughing at you and telling all his family and friends how pathetic you are? Don't you realize that he can apply to the court to get a restraining order against you because you're harassing him? Trying to contact someone repeatedly when it's obvious that they don't want any contact with you is harassment!!
I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt but I went to a counselor, a holistic counseor, and I got help!!Need relationship advice ..Please........?
Blame after 3 years should not be an issue. It was over, it is over, it is over. You have to let go of the falling back routine. You should take advantage of what you learned in this sorry relationship and move forward. Sure, it hurts and is heart renching, but after a time you have to just recognize these issues as facts and try to make new meaningful realtionships.
Time is only effective in healing if you let the past be the past. If you continue to focus on the past, it becomes your present (and nobody elses!).
You are doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different to result. This is the definition of insanity, and this is where you will stay until you forgive yourself and others for the past and make plans for the future. Then, time will heal and you will become more focused on the now and be happier.
write everything you feel about this man in a letter, the good, the bad, and the ugly, then put it in an envelope, adress it as if you were going to send it......stand over the garbage can and cut it up, and as you cut it into pieces, say aloud ';I'm letting you go.';
It sounds like you have tried everything. I guess the only thing you have left is to try to find a different counselor to talk to because this one is obviously not helping you. Have you tried depression meds or anything? Maybe you should try that. At least the logical part of you knows this wasn't your fault. Good luck and stay strong.
stop calln him every few weeks or a few months it doesnt matter just cutt him off completely or youll get hurt even more having your hopes up only to be put down after a while you will stop wanting to call him find someone new someone to keep u happy n have more good times then bad
(and really cutt him off thats the #1 step!!!)
You need to find anothrt man. Trust me, it's the only way to get over your ex.
You will have a new love to think about, and your ex will barely ever cross your mind.
good luck!
heres the best piece of advice i got...
Jenna Haze+vaseline+jackin off=good times...
try doin somethin that involves push and pull or somthin..
Give it some more time. Every thing happens for a reason and time go's by fast enough! You will be ok in time.
find another person dear. 4 months you have already lost him. Forget him start life with new light :)
For one, you are safe and not having to put up with the abuse.
You need to take time to heal yourself from all the abuse.You matter a lot to all those who are around you. It seems you did not matter to the ex at all.
And it be best to take this time of healing, and surely there is one man
out there, who will think the world of you and would do his best to care for you in spite of the ex.
The ex was verbal abusive with me and i do the best i can to keep away from him, cause I have 2 girls and no one deserves to be hit or verbal abuse, no one deserves it.
Hope this has been helpful~
Yours truly~
sissa~
My advice to you is to take a step back at reevaluate yourself and your life. I am or WAS in a very similar situation.. someone i have been dating for on and off for 5 years.. I was becoming obssessive and wanted to contact him. It is NOT healthy for you and your state of mind. You need to focus on value yourself and having that respect for yourself. It seems to me that he does not respect you, so why would you want to be with someone who thinks less of you.
They say to keep busy, but dont do it JUST to keep your mind off him, DO IT because YOU HAVE A LIFE!! You have to want it bad enough to move on..
Good luck!
Hi Shhh,
Have you lost it or something. Why is it that us girls are so needy. I have found that guys are interested in sex and we are interested in relationships. Once they get the sex they know that they don't have to hang around, but they do cause they can get what ever they want and need from us and they aren't giving us much of anything. We seem to be satisfied with the mere fact that that are around us. They are always the ones that get the best of everything in the relationships. The love really don't seem like love we just act like it is. When there is a break up the man can walk away from us and get with someone else as though we didn't exist, but us we will take them back in a heart beat no matter how rough the relationship was. We act as though there is no other man on the planet. There have been women who know of guys that would give them the world, but they are so in love with this guy that don't give a dam that they can't imagine living a loving and prosperous life with a man that loves the fat around her gut. When you break up with a guy you are not suppose to give up on life. He is not worth all that. It doesn't matter the reason the fact is you are no longer his girl. So now you are free to do what ever and who ever you choose. Do you remember the days before you met him. You need to go back to being your old self. You are smart and you are strong and the way you have fallen into the dump as though that is your rightful place is discouraging to other woman. We need to set examples for each other. No one can help how they feel about a man, sometimes the things that happen in a
relationship can't be helped, but you can help how you feel about you. Read what you wrote at the bottom of your cry for help.( I can only seem to think of the good times when we had so many bad. I feel like nothing with out him, and tried everything, enrolling back in college, new apt., friends, proffesionals, etc. Nothing , not even time and its really heart wrenching. Need serious advice. Do all the things you say you. I have given you some serious advice.) First thing forget about him start thinking about you and if someone came to you with a similar problem what could you tell them other than you had gone through the same thing. So climb out of the dump. Dress yourself up put on your pretty face and join the land of the living. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of thinking I was hurt over him even if I was. Now get ready to be someone's girl friend that will really respect, protect and love you like you deserve.
Need relationship advice despertly preferbly from women?
ive been divorced fro 4 yrs n realy havent dated cause am nervous to ge intimate with a women cause i have a realy small penis(5inches)it wasnt a problem with my wife cause i was her first but ive been seeing a girl who wants to get intimate but am nervous cause of my size she said her ex boyfrined was very big should i tell her first or just see what happens but i dont want to disapoint her or get laughed at plesase helpNeed relationship advice despertly preferbly from women?
I'm Not a Woman... but I would say to use foreplay to your advantage, make her organism so many times that it doesn't matter how small your penis is, she will be happy and enjoy the moment. Many women cannot organism off penis alone, they need much more (Seduction, Foreplay, Intimacy, etc). Women are far more complex than just penis size.
Good Luck and be Confident, if you are not confident it will show.Need relationship advice despertly preferbly from women?
If your worried about your size do something to compensate for it. Try eating her out extra good for a while try all the tricks you have up your sleeve on her and im sure she will come back begging for more.
Good *uck to you!
there are many ways to please a woman without a penis
learn some skills
I'm Not a Woman... but I would say to use foreplay to your advantage, make her organism so many times that it doesn't matter how small your penis is, she will be happy and enjoy the moment. Many women cannot organism off penis alone, they need much more (Seduction, Foreplay, Intimacy, etc). Women are far more complex than just penis size.
Good Luck and be Confident, if you are not confident it will show.Need relationship advice despertly preferbly from women?
If your worried about your size do something to compensate for it. Try eating her out extra good for a while try all the tricks you have up your sleeve on her and im sure she will come back begging for more.
Good *uck to you!
there are many ways to please a woman without a penis
learn some skills
Serious relationship advice/opinion?
Hi firstly i would like to thank in advance responses received and the time taken to read my situation.
I have been with my current partner/gf for six years. We are both are similar ages early 20's and are both living with parents.
Through the times we have shared we have had our ups and downs as every usual relationship. Over recent years I have became more distant towards her not showing as much attention or affection to her as i once did and generally lacking excitement towards the relationship. Is this normal?
We have never been as sexual active as i would have liked but that to has gone sour completely with myself having sexual thoughts of other women and desires towards others. When i mean none sexual active i don't mean once/twice a week i mean very rare more months. That said i was her first and i would feel guilty of her believing it was ';worth nothing';.
I find it difficult to speak about how i feel and do not have any intentions of ending the relationship but at times i feel that the relationship has come to an end. I love her but i am not in love with her.
We are going on holiday in two months and she is really looking forward to the break, whilst i am looking forward to the break im not so keen on it being with her with us most likely arguing all holiday. I am disappointed in myself as i am unable to search my inner self to determine how i feel when i am usual in control of my feelings and understand exactly how i feel.Serious relationship advice/opinion?
Wow I am sorry for your situation for sure. I would say its time you make a clean and kind break from her. When your young and you have spent most of your dating life with one person, especially one you don't have the 'fire' for anymore, your cheating yourself (and her) out of the happiness you deserve.
It sounds to me like your still with her because she is 'comfortable' and you will feel guilty if you break up and that is not a reason to be with another person.
Do the right thing and let her go.. so both of you can find someone who you are 'in love' with.Serious relationship advice/opinion?
Gareth, six years a long time. It is normal for relationships to kind of fizzle out, but not in a bad way. It's the same for married couples, only they are bound by matrimonial vows to each other, not to mention children. Don't feel bad about it. It just sounds as if you both have ';grown apart'; from each other. It happens. I think you both need to come to a mutual understanding within your relationship. Talk about exactly how you are feeling and what you can do about it, especially if you have no intentions of ending the relationship. I think you do. You are still young, Gareth. Damn! Give yourself a chance to date other women. Don't stifle yourself. That's why you have feelings of disappointment in yourself. You're only trapping yourself when you're really not even happy or satisfied in the relationship. Why prolong that?? You said it yourself, you love her, but you are not IN love with her. There you go! Don't fool yourself, you need to break it off. Think really hard about what you want to do about the relationship. Do you REALLY want to stay in it? Is it worth it? Do I love her? Does she love me? If you have more negative answers than positive, then the time has come to go your separate ways, sad as it may seem. You are unhappy, Gareth, and that's unhealthy. You need to be happy. Don't prolong her agony and stay in the relationship just for the hell of it. It's a cruel thing to do somebody. If you still feel you want to stay in the relationship. You need to sit down with her and talk to her about EVERYTHING and how you feel. Then, you need to come to a mutual understanding about how you both are gonna deal with and try to resolve the differences or whatever that is bothering you so much. Get it out, don't hold that kind of stuff in. It's better to be honest with yourself. If you stay, but you don't love her, that being dishonest to you and to her and you both are missing out chances for happiness. Take a stand. Think about what you wanna do, talk about it, come to an understanding, and make sure you both follow through on it. Remember, it's a team effort and requires both of your input and efforts. Don't drag out your unhappiness, it's not cool. But, think about it, seriously. Don't make any hasty decisions. Think everything through before you decide, okay? You'll be okay. Don't be disappointed in yourself because it's NOT your fault. Understand that. That's part of having a relationship. You are finding out about whether this person is suitable for you or not to spend your life with. So, it turns out it isn't?? The world is not gonna crumble. Life will go on and you'll meet tons of other beautiful women waiting for you out there. Be strong, take action, and remedy it. Things in life won't always go the way you want it. Take care and good luck, sweetie. Aloha!
I have been with my current partner/gf for six years. We are both are similar ages early 20's and are both living with parents.
Through the times we have shared we have had our ups and downs as every usual relationship. Over recent years I have became more distant towards her not showing as much attention or affection to her as i once did and generally lacking excitement towards the relationship. Is this normal?
We have never been as sexual active as i would have liked but that to has gone sour completely with myself having sexual thoughts of other women and desires towards others. When i mean none sexual active i don't mean once/twice a week i mean very rare more months. That said i was her first and i would feel guilty of her believing it was ';worth nothing';.
I find it difficult to speak about how i feel and do not have any intentions of ending the relationship but at times i feel that the relationship has come to an end. I love her but i am not in love with her.
We are going on holiday in two months and she is really looking forward to the break, whilst i am looking forward to the break im not so keen on it being with her with us most likely arguing all holiday. I am disappointed in myself as i am unable to search my inner self to determine how i feel when i am usual in control of my feelings and understand exactly how i feel.Serious relationship advice/opinion?
Wow I am sorry for your situation for sure. I would say its time you make a clean and kind break from her. When your young and you have spent most of your dating life with one person, especially one you don't have the 'fire' for anymore, your cheating yourself (and her) out of the happiness you deserve.
It sounds to me like your still with her because she is 'comfortable' and you will feel guilty if you break up and that is not a reason to be with another person.
Do the right thing and let her go.. so both of you can find someone who you are 'in love' with.Serious relationship advice/opinion?
Gareth, six years a long time. It is normal for relationships to kind of fizzle out, but not in a bad way. It's the same for married couples, only they are bound by matrimonial vows to each other, not to mention children. Don't feel bad about it. It just sounds as if you both have ';grown apart'; from each other. It happens. I think you both need to come to a mutual understanding within your relationship. Talk about exactly how you are feeling and what you can do about it, especially if you have no intentions of ending the relationship. I think you do. You are still young, Gareth. Damn! Give yourself a chance to date other women. Don't stifle yourself. That's why you have feelings of disappointment in yourself. You're only trapping yourself when you're really not even happy or satisfied in the relationship. Why prolong that?? You said it yourself, you love her, but you are not IN love with her. There you go! Don't fool yourself, you need to break it off. Think really hard about what you want to do about the relationship. Do you REALLY want to stay in it? Is it worth it? Do I love her? Does she love me? If you have more negative answers than positive, then the time has come to go your separate ways, sad as it may seem. You are unhappy, Gareth, and that's unhealthy. You need to be happy. Don't prolong her agony and stay in the relationship just for the hell of it. It's a cruel thing to do somebody. If you still feel you want to stay in the relationship. You need to sit down with her and talk to her about EVERYTHING and how you feel. Then, you need to come to a mutual understanding about how you both are gonna deal with and try to resolve the differences or whatever that is bothering you so much. Get it out, don't hold that kind of stuff in. It's better to be honest with yourself. If you stay, but you don't love her, that being dishonest to you and to her and you both are missing out chances for happiness. Take a stand. Think about what you wanna do, talk about it, come to an understanding, and make sure you both follow through on it. Remember, it's a team effort and requires both of your input and efforts. Don't drag out your unhappiness, it's not cool. But, think about it, seriously. Don't make any hasty decisions. Think everything through before you decide, okay? You'll be okay. Don't be disappointed in yourself because it's NOT your fault. Understand that. That's part of having a relationship. You are finding out about whether this person is suitable for you or not to spend your life with. So, it turns out it isn't?? The world is not gonna crumble. Life will go on and you'll meet tons of other beautiful women waiting for you out there. Be strong, take action, and remedy it. Things in life won't always go the way you want it. Take care and good luck, sweetie. Aloha!
Marijuana/relationship advice?
I'm having relationship problems because my boyfriend is seemingly addicted to smoking weed. Now, I'm not ignorant in the fact that marijuana has no addictive agents. However, I consider a person addicted to a substance when they feel its the only thing that will make them happier in a situation and have a compulsive longing to use it.
The problem presented itself when he began lying to me and hiding the fact that he smokes. He knows that I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of him smoking, and I told him I would never be upset as long as it wasn't around me. Last night, however, I caught him smoking in our bathroom when he said he was just using the restroom. WE'RE 20 AND 22, so I was quite surprised to see such an immature display.
Anyway. I told him I didn't have a problem with smoking, I had a problem with lying to me about it and hiding it like he was. If it came down to breaking up, would literally choose smoking weed over me. So I need yalls advice.
Thanks for reading this. I know it was kind of long. Thank you so much.Marijuana/relationship advice?
The pot does not bother me as much as the lying so I get what you are saying. It sounds like you deserve better and maybe look for a different type of guy. A little older, a career, a bank account ect. Your young do you really see yourself married to a guy who locks himself in the bathroom to smoke a joint? Lots of fish in the sea. Good Luck!Marijuana/relationship advice?
You should have a problem with his smoking. You are on a one way track down a bad path. Did you know that if he gets caught by the cops, you could go down with him? Smarten up. Pot is illegal and your boyfriend is an idiot. Get out of there before you know what it is like to be sitting behind bars.
Dump him. He sounds like a loser.
Heres my advice. You may not like htat he smokes but if you consider breaking up with him because its a problem FOR YOU then you need to break up because you asked him not to smoke around you and that you didnt want him to do it in front of you he wanted to smoke so he did. Honestly I would expect that no matter what the age. Hes a grown man. If he wants to smoke he will end of story. Would you have rathered he go out to his car really quick or left to the gas station and came back no. you would be even more pissed and probly would have wanted to go so ya Think about it from his point of veiw
I'm a whole lot younger than you but I went through the exact same thing with the exact same drug.
I see no problem with my boyfriend smoking weed when he's with his buddies on the weekends but I do have a problem with it when he smokes everyday.
Another this is, I know my boyfriend would NEVER chose the weed over me and that is VERY important. If you know your boyfriend would rather smoke weed than be with you, dump him. You really just have to let him know that you want to make him happy and that it makes you sad when he smokes weed instead of hang out with you.
The lying is another problem, a boy who lies about smoking weed could lie about his commitment. Now, I don't know you relationship with him any further than you've told but you really need to get him to understand that weed is not going to help you relationship.
xoxo
Good luck.
The problem presented itself when he began lying to me and hiding the fact that he smokes. He knows that I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of him smoking, and I told him I would never be upset as long as it wasn't around me. Last night, however, I caught him smoking in our bathroom when he said he was just using the restroom. WE'RE 20 AND 22, so I was quite surprised to see such an immature display.
Anyway. I told him I didn't have a problem with smoking, I had a problem with lying to me about it and hiding it like he was. If it came down to breaking up, would literally choose smoking weed over me. So I need yalls advice.
Thanks for reading this. I know it was kind of long. Thank you so much.Marijuana/relationship advice?
The pot does not bother me as much as the lying so I get what you are saying. It sounds like you deserve better and maybe look for a different type of guy. A little older, a career, a bank account ect. Your young do you really see yourself married to a guy who locks himself in the bathroom to smoke a joint? Lots of fish in the sea. Good Luck!Marijuana/relationship advice?
You should have a problem with his smoking. You are on a one way track down a bad path. Did you know that if he gets caught by the cops, you could go down with him? Smarten up. Pot is illegal and your boyfriend is an idiot. Get out of there before you know what it is like to be sitting behind bars.
Dump him. He sounds like a loser.
Heres my advice. You may not like htat he smokes but if you consider breaking up with him because its a problem FOR YOU then you need to break up because you asked him not to smoke around you and that you didnt want him to do it in front of you he wanted to smoke so he did. Honestly I would expect that no matter what the age. Hes a grown man. If he wants to smoke he will end of story. Would you have rathered he go out to his car really quick or left to the gas station and came back no. you would be even more pissed and probly would have wanted to go so ya Think about it from his point of veiw
I'm a whole lot younger than you but I went through the exact same thing with the exact same drug.
I see no problem with my boyfriend smoking weed when he's with his buddies on the weekends but I do have a problem with it when he smokes everyday.
Another this is, I know my boyfriend would NEVER chose the weed over me and that is VERY important. If you know your boyfriend would rather smoke weed than be with you, dump him. You really just have to let him know that you want to make him happy and that it makes you sad when he smokes weed instead of hang out with you.
The lying is another problem, a boy who lies about smoking weed could lie about his commitment. Now, I don't know you relationship with him any further than you've told but you really need to get him to understand that weed is not going to help you relationship.
xoxo
Good luck.
Some relationship advice?
ok so i have liked this guy for the past two years. its been on and off really and when i would like him, he wouldnt like me, n when he liked me, i wouldnt like him. and so and so forth. it has been so complicated. and i know he is defintaly over me, but i just cant get over him. i have tried everything possible. but nothing has worked. now he has a girlfriend and i am so mad. everytime i see him i feel like punching him, i tell everyone i hate him, but i could never. i tell him how i feel but its hard when his girlfriend is one of my friends. i would never ask her to talk to him about it. but i feel like i have no choice.
please help me.
what should i do?Some relationship advice?
this is a good question,
thanks for sharing.
exactly what i felt about
this guy that i dated.
i kept thinking about him.
and i doodled his name anywhere
but he is so over me too.
i was like a ';toy'; to him.
i know it sux.
but we had nothing in common
so whatever,
you know what you should do,?
you should start dateing other guys,
thatll keep u distracted, and itll help
you forget about him.
because you really dont want to
think abouta guy thats with your friend.
thats dum,theres a bunch of guys out there
that would like to be with you,and you dont even
know it.
please help me.
what should i do?Some relationship advice?
this is a good question,
thanks for sharing.
exactly what i felt about
this guy that i dated.
i kept thinking about him.
and i doodled his name anywhere
but he is so over me too.
i was like a ';toy'; to him.
i know it sux.
but we had nothing in common
so whatever,
you know what you should do,?
you should start dateing other guys,
thatll keep u distracted, and itll help
you forget about him.
because you really dont want to
think abouta guy thats with your friend.
thats dum,theres a bunch of guys out there
that would like to be with you,and you dont even
know it.
Need relationship advice!!?
I've been with a girl for over a year now, and she's a really great person. She's pretty, and SUPER nice and all that. But, I had this crush on this other girl for a whole year and we got pretty close and hungout a lot. The other day, I met up with the other girl and we hung out again for the first time in a long while, and I started having feelings for her again. She's really smart and nice as well. Ugh, I don't know what to do. I have no good reason for breaking up with my girlfriend since she's a good person, I just don't feel like I love her anymore. And when I met up with the other girl, I just felt something that I haven't felt in a long while. I didn't cheat on my girlfriend or anything but just being close to this other girl again was awesome.
Any advice is GREATLY appreciated!Need relationship advice!!?
if you really feel that you don't love your girlfriend anymore, than it would be wrong to keep the relationship going. just be with who ever makes you happy.Need relationship advice!!?
Well first, there is such as a thing as emotional cheating. If you feel that you don't like this girl anymore think about why you don't. Is it because you think this other girl is better? Remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side. This new girl comes with baggage and just different problems. Just don't keep your girlfriend stringing along it's not fair to her and if she's such a good person like you say then you wouldn't want to hurt anymore than what you already will.
Well just think do you truly love your girlfriend?
You should never leave the one you love for the one you like.
What if you left your girlfriend and got together with your crush..and what if she left you within a month..wouldnt you feel dumb that you left your girlfriend for no reason?
I would say stay with your girlfriend if you really truly love her and truly care about her.
You guys have been together for over a year dont end it because you have a crush on this girl.
And does your girlfriend know that you met up with this other chick?
if i was your gf i would be pretty pissed %26gt;: [
so its you decison if you want to **** things up with the one you love then do it and go with the other chick.oily skin
Any advice is GREATLY appreciated!Need relationship advice!!?
if you really feel that you don't love your girlfriend anymore, than it would be wrong to keep the relationship going. just be with who ever makes you happy.Need relationship advice!!?
Well first, there is such as a thing as emotional cheating. If you feel that you don't like this girl anymore think about why you don't. Is it because you think this other girl is better? Remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side. This new girl comes with baggage and just different problems. Just don't keep your girlfriend stringing along it's not fair to her and if she's such a good person like you say then you wouldn't want to hurt anymore than what you already will.
Well just think do you truly love your girlfriend?
You should never leave the one you love for the one you like.
What if you left your girlfriend and got together with your crush..and what if she left you within a month..wouldnt you feel dumb that you left your girlfriend for no reason?
I would say stay with your girlfriend if you really truly love her and truly care about her.
You guys have been together for over a year dont end it because you have a crush on this girl.
And does your girlfriend know that you met up with this other chick?
if i was your gf i would be pretty pissed %26gt;: [
so its you decison if you want to **** things up with the one you love then do it and go with the other chick.
Need relationship advice! Tell me whether my bf is a flirt or if I am crazy!?
So I called my bf of the carpet for these messages with another girl about being his ';little sis'; in his frat. He says he's not being flirty with her. I beg to differ, opinions?
Boyfriend:
hey I heard about what happened, I dont know why or who made that decision but it made me really sad!! you still are a little so to me anyway... if you dont hate me lets hang out sometime!
Other Girl:
a little so? i hope you mean little sis...lol
but were you really gonna pick me as your lil sis?? you better not pick up one now! haha
i was really bummed that i didn't get a bid but oh wells..
i don't hate you. yea lets hang out! =)
Boyfriend:
uh oh... there was one little sis left who needed to be picked up so I said I would do it :( sorry c***y please forgive me! yeah apparently they would have given you a bid if I had told them earlier I was going to pick you up... :( so sad! I think i saw you today too
Other Girl:
Shut the f up! Omg you suck!!! Why didn't you tell them :( I'm so sad! Awww.. Who is it?? You're just trying to make me jealous lol meany..
Yea I thought I saw you today too! Were you skateboarding?
Boyfriend:
too late now :*( but apparently if I had been there during decisions you would have gotten a bid. I still dont understand why that happened! maybe do it next semester??? either way i want to see you around! and my little now doesnt really fit me at all!! I just picked her cause no one wanted her and i was her top choice :( oh and yeah i was skating haha
Other girl:
The way you said that sounded so mean! Lol when I met b****e she seemed pretty chill.. Haha how does she not fit you?? :( I don't think I would do it next year..UNLESS you promise you'll pick me lol but iono if you want 2 littles. Iono how it works. Haha
Yea hopefully we'll see each other more! You gotta make an effort to hang out with me :) haha
Boyfriend:
b****e is really chill! but i guess i just feel that its hard to picture her as my ';little'; sis cause she seems all old and mature. And I would pick you up if you did it next year! unless you wanted someone who didnt already have a little which would be totally understandable. when are we going to kick it???Need relationship advice! Tell me whether my bf is a flirt or if I am crazy!?
flirt!Need relationship advice! Tell me whether my bf is a flirt or if I am crazy!?
what is all this little stuff? how old are these people? and yes it does sound like he's a flirt
Hm. Well, I honestly think maybe he's just friends with her? I'm like that with all my guy friends...and I have alot of them (mostly because I get along better with guys than girls)
Sit him down and talk about him with it.
Boyfriend:
hey I heard about what happened, I dont know why or who made that decision but it made me really sad!! you still are a little so to me anyway... if you dont hate me lets hang out sometime!
Other Girl:
a little so? i hope you mean little sis...lol
but were you really gonna pick me as your lil sis?? you better not pick up one now! haha
i was really bummed that i didn't get a bid but oh wells..
i don't hate you. yea lets hang out! =)
Boyfriend:
uh oh... there was one little sis left who needed to be picked up so I said I would do it :( sorry c***y please forgive me! yeah apparently they would have given you a bid if I had told them earlier I was going to pick you up... :( so sad! I think i saw you today too
Other Girl:
Shut the f up! Omg you suck!!! Why didn't you tell them :( I'm so sad! Awww.. Who is it?? You're just trying to make me jealous lol meany..
Yea I thought I saw you today too! Were you skateboarding?
Boyfriend:
too late now :*( but apparently if I had been there during decisions you would have gotten a bid. I still dont understand why that happened! maybe do it next semester??? either way i want to see you around! and my little now doesnt really fit me at all!! I just picked her cause no one wanted her and i was her top choice :( oh and yeah i was skating haha
Other girl:
The way you said that sounded so mean! Lol when I met b****e she seemed pretty chill.. Haha how does she not fit you?? :( I don't think I would do it next year..UNLESS you promise you'll pick me lol but iono if you want 2 littles. Iono how it works. Haha
Yea hopefully we'll see each other more! You gotta make an effort to hang out with me :) haha
Boyfriend:
b****e is really chill! but i guess i just feel that its hard to picture her as my ';little'; sis cause she seems all old and mature. And I would pick you up if you did it next year! unless you wanted someone who didnt already have a little which would be totally understandable. when are we going to kick it???Need relationship advice! Tell me whether my bf is a flirt or if I am crazy!?
flirt!Need relationship advice! Tell me whether my bf is a flirt or if I am crazy!?
what is all this little stuff? how old are these people? and yes it does sound like he's a flirt
Hm. Well, I honestly think maybe he's just friends with her? I'm like that with all my guy friends...and I have alot of them (mostly because I get along better with guys than girls)
Sit him down and talk about him with it.
Need relationship advice in regards to boundaries?
I have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half and he was laid off his job and we decided that he could get his Real Estate License. Well of course it has been a struggle and I have been paying all of the bills 100%. I share everything with him. My home/financials/kids/youth/cell phone usage/car...etc. He was a single for 10 years before shacking up. I have some insecurities from leaving a previous relationship due to cheating. I have been a little cautious but then he has also displayed some behavior that has me on alert such as a flirty email to a girl. 2 nights ago, we were just talking and his bank statement was laying on the counter and I pick it up and I said, $12 for Wendys? Who did you buy lunch for? He snatched it out of my hand and started screaming that his bank statement is none of my business, that it is private. I feel it IS my business. We live together, I am paying all bills and I feel that I have a right to see his income and spending habits. Advice Please!Need relationship advice in regards to boundaries?
when someone reacts in anger it is usually a sign of fire behind smoke. yes it is your business. i would be more concerned about his reaction than the $12 dollars itself. if you suspect he bought someone lunch he most likely did and doesn't want you to know who it was. keep your eyes open! make sure you don't enable his behavior by keeping a blind eye to facts you're keenly aware of. The biggest mistake anyone makes is not trusting their instince. Transparency is key in any relationship when that transparency is clouded seeds of doubt begin to sprout.Need relationship advice in regards to boundaries?
Sorry to hear about your situation. Firstly, you do live together but you aren't married, so essentially, he is right. I personally, wouldn't be supporting my children, myself and a grown man who doesn't seem to have any intent or offering my any assistance. In doing this, you are enabling him and to some degree, mothering him. So, he probably feels like he can do whatever he wants you and will simply take it because you have been. My advise, if you are sick of him leeching, let him know it and offer him an ultimatum. You are not a doormat and don't allow him to treat you like one or allow your children to see you treated as one, either.
well.. maybe he took a friend out? and no you dont have a right to see his income and spending habits unless they are way out of control.. like if his kids came to visit and he spent over $2000 on them over a time period of a month on clothes meanwhile he is still paying child support to their mother - then you open your mouth.. not when he spends $12 at a fast food chain - who knows, maybe he was extra hungry that day..
when someone reacts in anger it is usually a sign of fire behind smoke. yes it is your business. i would be more concerned about his reaction than the $12 dollars itself. if you suspect he bought someone lunch he most likely did and doesn't want you to know who it was. keep your eyes open! make sure you don't enable his behavior by keeping a blind eye to facts you're keenly aware of. The biggest mistake anyone makes is not trusting their instince. Transparency is key in any relationship when that transparency is clouded seeds of doubt begin to sprout.Need relationship advice in regards to boundaries?
Sorry to hear about your situation. Firstly, you do live together but you aren't married, so essentially, he is right. I personally, wouldn't be supporting my children, myself and a grown man who doesn't seem to have any intent or offering my any assistance. In doing this, you are enabling him and to some degree, mothering him. So, he probably feels like he can do whatever he wants you and will simply take it because you have been. My advise, if you are sick of him leeching, let him know it and offer him an ultimatum. You are not a doormat and don't allow him to treat you like one or allow your children to see you treated as one, either.
well.. maybe he took a friend out? and no you dont have a right to see his income and spending habits unless they are way out of control.. like if his kids came to visit and he spent over $2000 on them over a time period of a month on clothes meanwhile he is still paying child support to their mother - then you open your mouth.. not when he spends $12 at a fast food chain - who knows, maybe he was extra hungry that day..
Early relationship advice?
Background, I met this girl about two weeks ago. We are going out tomorrow night for a halloween party and it should be fun. The previous two times we've gone out we've both had a really good time with each other and I know that we have good chemistry and that something is there.
My question is how to handle the early stages of a relationship. I want to see her as often as I can because I really enjoy being around her but I also don't want to come across as easy or too available. How often should I call her and how often should I make plans with her over the next couple of weeks? ThanksEarly relationship advice?
Ask her out once a week and talk to her two to three time a week. Do not call her or text her every day. If she texts you be sure to answer it but make it short and not to revealing.Early relationship advice?
have fun
My question is how to handle the early stages of a relationship. I want to see her as often as I can because I really enjoy being around her but I also don't want to come across as easy or too available. How often should I call her and how often should I make plans with her over the next couple of weeks? ThanksEarly relationship advice?
Ask her out once a week and talk to her two to three time a week. Do not call her or text her every day. If she texts you be sure to answer it but make it short and not to revealing.Early relationship advice?
have fun
Abusive Relationship Advice?
I really need some advice. I've spent almost ten years in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend. We have fought numerous times in the past but now we don't. I've always made an excuse because since I would fight back and not be a punching bad I thought that this wasn't abusive. Secondly he lets his family ridicule me and does nothing to protect me. We have a kid together and this is the main reason I stay. Our relationship isn't good at all and I am not in love with him anymore. Every time he tries to make love to me it feels like im being raped because I just cringe at the thought of his touch. I feel like a prisoner and I don't know how to leave. I just don't know what to do, I don't have any family and no where to go. Also hes not really a bad person and he says he just didn't know how to act back then. We got into this relationship really earlier on in our twenties. And even though this is the past it still hurts so badly. I don't know what to do do you think it can get better. He don't do much of these things anymore, its just I just am so very confused. And as stupid as it is I don't want to break his heart because he's gotten a whole lot better. I just feel so guilty.Abusive Relationship Advice?
IF you ARE STILL being abused, PLEASE do NOT stay in this relationship. It's NOT going to change until you do something to change it which would be to leave him altogether. I too was in an abusive relationship %26amp; KNOW it just won't change. That person has a deep anger inside of him that only professional help can do anything for him. And I mean a LOT of professional help. Don't take abuse from any man. There is NO reason whatsoever for a man to hit or hurt a woman. They are cowards, they are really weak people w/in themselves w/NO self esteem. IF you can handle the expenses of where you now are, you can ALWAYS get a restraining order %26amp; he won't be allowed anywhere near you nor to have any contact w/you at all. You could ck. w/social services %26amp; see what kind of help is available for you as there IS LOTS of help if you just ask around %26amp; find it. IF you cannot afford to stay where you are, find out from social services just what you CAN do, where you can go %26amp; ask for all the help you can get. You can get a restraining order taken out against him regardless of where you are, %26amp; KNOW he CANNOT hurt you ever again. The law WILL stand behind you on that. But I'm NOT sure IF he's still physically abusing you are not. You cannot feel guilty for not having any feelings for someone who has hurt you like he has. He's the one who did this against you, he's the one who has killed any loving feelings you ever even had for him. So, it's NOT your fault, so please do NOT feel guilty for feeling as you do. You're the victim here, not the one who did all this against you. I KNOW how it is to have loved someone but to have them ';kill'; all your love you once had for them. I have been in the SAME position as you, that's why I KNOW about how you feel %26amp; what you can do about it IF he's still abusive twds. you. Do NOT take abuse from anyone, you are far better than that. Your child does not deserve to be bro't up in a family w/o love in it either. In time your child w/realize there is no love in the home. Better to be bro't up just w/you who at least shows he/she love, than to be bro't up w/none at all %26amp; have that empty feeling of no love in the family. Please do what you must do for you %26amp; your child. You DO have options if you go %26amp; find out about them. You've put up w/this for far too many yrs. You DO deserve a life of happiness, you do deserve a life w/love in it. It's very possible you CAN find that love in your future IF you just give yourself a chance. But DO at least give yourself that chance...I wish you all the best...:)Abusive Relationship Advice?
leave now and tell me your country and location i want help your not alone i am with you,you cannot be with this man anymore. you are too wounded. you need to make some honest decisions and take care of yourself and your baby but now leave here because need to u and our baby,
contact with me by mail i want some Personal discuss with u alone.
leave him. go stay at a friends house or something.
and as for the kid, i think its better because they wont have to see you guys arguing and fighting all the time. seeing thier parents hate each other is worse than seeing them not together. how do you think they feel when they see them hit you and treat you like crap. they are going to grow up thinking its ok to hit and be hit.
at all times keep a phone with you in case u need to call the police. a pocket knife will also be a huge help in violent situations. car keys too. these are the stuff you need in order to feel more protected individualy. keep in mind that if your boyfriend sees your message....
Anyways god bless you and best of luck!
The main reason why you stay is because of the kid!!!??? That should be the main reason you LEAVE! How dare you expose your child to such abuse??? You have no right to do so! You are his mother, your job is to provide a safe, healthy and happy environment! SHAME ON YOU!
hes the one with the problems not you. leave him, stay with a friend until you can find someone else/get your own place.
Abusive relationship = leave,no questions needed
honey... you cannot be with this man anymore. you are too wounded. you need to make some honest decisions and take care of yourself and your baby...
If you put up with someone treating you like that, it's YOUR fault.
Get away from him.... 10 years, you must enjoy it. Get some backbone and get him out..
Police... call the police.
LEAVE!!!!!!!!!! get out of it! and if it's happening now or during the next incident call the POLICE!
Leave.
ok u can do so much better, dump hum... its not worth it
if you stay for your child and they see what's going on they will be abusive or abused as an adult, and lose all respect for you. this happened to me with the father of my 3 children. i ended up leaving him to live at a womens shelter who had a two yr program for abused women and there children. they paid for my college, daycare for my kids, and gave me free counseling. this really shocked my husband and he wanted us back so bad he said he'd do anything. i told him he needed to get counseling and go to church. i stayed gone for just over a year when i decided to move back in. we ended up getting married a year later and slowly became a better man. change didn't happen overnight, but through prayer and counseling we made it work. been married for 3.5 yrs now. still have to pray everyday, but i'm glad we came out on the other side. good luck.
He's gotten a ';whole lot better'; basically implies that he has still sometimes hits you. It's better that you leave because it is to show your child what a relationship should be like. Do you really want your child to grow up thinking it is ok to hit a women? That this is how relationships are supposed to be like? It is actually selfish to stay with him, it isn't for your child, it is purely for you.
I suggest you do the following: Get a job, save your money, pack up your bags and leave. If you feel like you need to leave immediately because of danger, then you need to call a abuse shelter, they will give you a place to stay and help you with everything.
I have a lot of sympathy for you, but do not say you're staying for your kid. That doesn't even make sense - in fact, your kid is the main reason you should have gotten out a long time ago! You're staying because, in your own words, you ';don't want to break his heart';.
I hope you see how illogical that is! You're putting a mean, violent jerk ahead of your child and it's probably already damaged him/her.
I know it isn't easy, but if you feel guilt, feel it on her behalf, not his. He's a worthless piece of junk and he doesn't deserve either one of you. The difference is you can make it change; your child can't.
Call the national abuse hotline or local resources - they're all over the country. They can help you get started. Worry about your guilt later - your child needs you to get him/her out of there. You barely mentioned the child and this should be your focus.
I was in an abusive marriage for 15 yrs before I asked for a divorce. I didn't know what verbal/emotional abuse was. I recommend you read this book that helped me understand what was going on and how to leave the relationship permanently. You HAVE to end the relationship - there is nothing that will change him and you are not only putting yourself in danger, but also your child witnessing all of it too.
Please go to the library or book store and get ';Abuse Survivors Speak Out'; by Patricia Evans. It saved my life and now I'm married to a wonderful loving man who showed me what true love really is.
you say hes got better once a man starts hittin you sweety he will never stop he thinks its ok you either get out im sure you have an aunt are sumone he hits you abain scream yell get the dam phone if ya noty close scream so loud that the neigbers will here you dont put up with that shyt he was my bf he will be beat the ***** up i hit him with sumthin nock him out lol but just get away from him
IF you ARE STILL being abused, PLEASE do NOT stay in this relationship. It's NOT going to change until you do something to change it which would be to leave him altogether. I too was in an abusive relationship %26amp; KNOW it just won't change. That person has a deep anger inside of him that only professional help can do anything for him. And I mean a LOT of professional help. Don't take abuse from any man. There is NO reason whatsoever for a man to hit or hurt a woman. They are cowards, they are really weak people w/in themselves w/NO self esteem. IF you can handle the expenses of where you now are, you can ALWAYS get a restraining order %26amp; he won't be allowed anywhere near you nor to have any contact w/you at all. You could ck. w/social services %26amp; see what kind of help is available for you as there IS LOTS of help if you just ask around %26amp; find it. IF you cannot afford to stay where you are, find out from social services just what you CAN do, where you can go %26amp; ask for all the help you can get. You can get a restraining order taken out against him regardless of where you are, %26amp; KNOW he CANNOT hurt you ever again. The law WILL stand behind you on that. But I'm NOT sure IF he's still physically abusing you are not. You cannot feel guilty for not having any feelings for someone who has hurt you like he has. He's the one who did this against you, he's the one who has killed any loving feelings you ever even had for him. So, it's NOT your fault, so please do NOT feel guilty for feeling as you do. You're the victim here, not the one who did all this against you. I KNOW how it is to have loved someone but to have them ';kill'; all your love you once had for them. I have been in the SAME position as you, that's why I KNOW about how you feel %26amp; what you can do about it IF he's still abusive twds. you. Do NOT take abuse from anyone, you are far better than that. Your child does not deserve to be bro't up in a family w/o love in it either. In time your child w/realize there is no love in the home. Better to be bro't up just w/you who at least shows he/she love, than to be bro't up w/none at all %26amp; have that empty feeling of no love in the family. Please do what you must do for you %26amp; your child. You DO have options if you go %26amp; find out about them. You've put up w/this for far too many yrs. You DO deserve a life of happiness, you do deserve a life w/love in it. It's very possible you CAN find that love in your future IF you just give yourself a chance. But DO at least give yourself that chance...I wish you all the best...:)Abusive Relationship Advice?
leave now and tell me your country and location i want help your not alone i am with you,you cannot be with this man anymore. you are too wounded. you need to make some honest decisions and take care of yourself and your baby but now leave here because need to u and our baby,
contact with me by mail i want some Personal discuss with u alone.
leave him. go stay at a friends house or something.
and as for the kid, i think its better because they wont have to see you guys arguing and fighting all the time. seeing thier parents hate each other is worse than seeing them not together. how do you think they feel when they see them hit you and treat you like crap. they are going to grow up thinking its ok to hit and be hit.
at all times keep a phone with you in case u need to call the police. a pocket knife will also be a huge help in violent situations. car keys too. these are the stuff you need in order to feel more protected individualy. keep in mind that if your boyfriend sees your message....
Anyways god bless you and best of luck!
The main reason why you stay is because of the kid!!!??? That should be the main reason you LEAVE! How dare you expose your child to such abuse??? You have no right to do so! You are his mother, your job is to provide a safe, healthy and happy environment! SHAME ON YOU!
hes the one with the problems not you. leave him, stay with a friend until you can find someone else/get your own place.
Abusive relationship = leave,no questions needed
honey... you cannot be with this man anymore. you are too wounded. you need to make some honest decisions and take care of yourself and your baby...
If you put up with someone treating you like that, it's YOUR fault.
Get away from him.... 10 years, you must enjoy it. Get some backbone and get him out..
Police... call the police.
LEAVE!!!!!!!!!! get out of it! and if it's happening now or during the next incident call the POLICE!
Leave.
ok u can do so much better, dump hum... its not worth it
if you stay for your child and they see what's going on they will be abusive or abused as an adult, and lose all respect for you. this happened to me with the father of my 3 children. i ended up leaving him to live at a womens shelter who had a two yr program for abused women and there children. they paid for my college, daycare for my kids, and gave me free counseling. this really shocked my husband and he wanted us back so bad he said he'd do anything. i told him he needed to get counseling and go to church. i stayed gone for just over a year when i decided to move back in. we ended up getting married a year later and slowly became a better man. change didn't happen overnight, but through prayer and counseling we made it work. been married for 3.5 yrs now. still have to pray everyday, but i'm glad we came out on the other side. good luck.
He's gotten a ';whole lot better'; basically implies that he has still sometimes hits you. It's better that you leave because it is to show your child what a relationship should be like. Do you really want your child to grow up thinking it is ok to hit a women? That this is how relationships are supposed to be like? It is actually selfish to stay with him, it isn't for your child, it is purely for you.
I suggest you do the following: Get a job, save your money, pack up your bags and leave. If you feel like you need to leave immediately because of danger, then you need to call a abuse shelter, they will give you a place to stay and help you with everything.
I have a lot of sympathy for you, but do not say you're staying for your kid. That doesn't even make sense - in fact, your kid is the main reason you should have gotten out a long time ago! You're staying because, in your own words, you ';don't want to break his heart';.
I hope you see how illogical that is! You're putting a mean, violent jerk ahead of your child and it's probably already damaged him/her.
I know it isn't easy, but if you feel guilt, feel it on her behalf, not his. He's a worthless piece of junk and he doesn't deserve either one of you. The difference is you can make it change; your child can't.
Call the national abuse hotline or local resources - they're all over the country. They can help you get started. Worry about your guilt later - your child needs you to get him/her out of there. You barely mentioned the child and this should be your focus.
I was in an abusive marriage for 15 yrs before I asked for a divorce. I didn't know what verbal/emotional abuse was. I recommend you read this book that helped me understand what was going on and how to leave the relationship permanently. You HAVE to end the relationship - there is nothing that will change him and you are not only putting yourself in danger, but also your child witnessing all of it too.
Please go to the library or book store and get ';Abuse Survivors Speak Out'; by Patricia Evans. It saved my life and now I'm married to a wonderful loving man who showed me what true love really is.
you say hes got better once a man starts hittin you sweety he will never stop he thinks its ok you either get out im sure you have an aunt are sumone he hits you abain scream yell get the dam phone if ya noty close scream so loud that the neigbers will here you dont put up with that shyt he was my bf he will be beat the ***** up i hit him with sumthin nock him out lol but just get away from him
Lesbian relationship advice?
I realize asking this won't solve my problem; I suppose I just want to see if any of you had a similar problem and maybe a solution or some advice ...
For the past 2 years I've been in a relationship with a woman I dearly care about. It's the first time for us both, however, though we have no previous experiences of this sort - we feel that it's right. I suppose our biggest problem is that we live in a very Catholic country. Myself, I don't practice nor believe that God will sentence me to hell just cause I'm in a lesbian relationship but my gf was raised in a very Catholic family. Despite the time we've been together and what we share, she cannot fully come to terms with her 'newly' discovered sexuality. On and off she thinks its wrong to be with a person of the same sex and gets sad she can't fully participate in mass or that when she dies she'll go to hell... I have no idea how to counter this. And then there's the baby issue. She'd like to have a baby but doesn't imagine being with a man anymore to have one. I'd hate for her to wake up one day and feel she's made the biggest mistake of her life being with me and giving up on religion or a baby, which are two extremely important things to her. She is older than I am, perhaps that is why I'm a bit more open-minded and tolerant? Do I let her go? Wait for her to leave me so she can have a baby? I have no idea how to go about this. I know I'd hate to see her sad and that's what she is now - incapable of making a choice: mainstream 'normal family' or an alternative one ...Lesbian relationship advice?
My wife is/grew up Catholic. There IS a place that will accept you both, regardless of orientation:
http://www.dignityusa.org/
It's a place for gay Catholics.
Check them out %26amp; their website.
It's going to be hard for your girl to come to terms with how she feels %26amp; what the Church says is right %26amp; wrong. But don't let that get between your girl %26amp; her relationship to God. She's going to have to choose between the easy wrong of living a lie with a man in line with Catholic doctrine, or the hard right of living her life in truth.
You guys can still adopt, get a donor (another of our friends are doing this now), etc. So, her wanting a baby is doable. You just have to think outside the box a bit!
Hope this helps.Lesbian relationship advice?
Well for starters girls are the luckier sex if they wish to have a baby! Men's sperm is cheap while a surrogate mother or adoption is not! So she can still have a baby if she desires one! You are not keeping her from that and should not feel guilty about that one!
Her religion is another thing but is very workable, even the dreaded Catholic guilt! I'm Catholic myself and was lucky enough to have my Church accept, love and cherish me for who I am. Have her look around and find a church that fits her better! Yes there are Catholic churches out their that do this!!! With time and being in a church that loves and accepts you for who you are that guilt might very well go away.
well your one strong women to be listening to that everyday. baby this and church that. well i would say you be the better person and non-selfish (in a way) to let her go. she obviously has the issues and to me looks like shes going to make it your fault in the future about going to hell and not producing a child. if she wants to lie to herself and do what everyones expects of her like to go to church with her family one of these days, well i say you shouldnt bother. and 2yrs is a long time to end a relationship. if she feels that way.....let her. find yourself a lesbian-lesbian who is as much as tolerant as you :) ....not too lesbian-ish..lol.%26lt;--..those type of lesbians are nasty.,ew..lol. hoped i helped
One of my best les friends had a similar problem. In the end there's only so much you can do before the girl with issues decides. You can't change her relgious views even if they damage her self-image %26amp; self-esteem. Depending on where you're located, the baby issue could be solved by either adopting or artificial insemination (yep, no man-stick going up her box!). However, a baby would probably only complicate matters for her b/c now she'd have to deal w/ the Church's hangup on same-sex parents raising a child.
Kudos to you if you decide to hang in there %26amp; brave the possibility she might one day decide she can live w/ suppressing what she is in order to gain societal %26amp; Church approval. My bud, though, blew out of her relationship. Mind you, as she was also raised Catholic she also had issues w/ being the les she is %26amp; how it went against what she was taught on Sundays. But she came to terms with it, %26amp; she's a happy girl overall. Single, but happy!
From the looks of all these thorough answers, you're probably well informed on what you're options are here.
When it comes to the religion part, I was once in the same boat as your girlfriend. The struggle between my happiness and what God's word said would arise from time to time and I would get depressed and feel like I need to break up with her. I found after many years of this back and forth struggle, that I just needed to accept who I was and trust that God accepted me this way as well. I thought for a long time that Satan had a strong hold on me, that being lesbian was a bondage from hell. But when I tried being with a man, I felt like I was being tortured. She needs to be true to herself. She needs to talk to God about how she feels. She is a daughter of God, He wants her to be happy and to love herself. Satan wants us to be depressed and feel bad about who we are. Afterall, if we feel bad about ourselves, we are separating ourselves from the Lord. As long as she is living in condemnation, she is not pleasing God. She needs to pray about this, have a conversation with the Lord, and accept that she is loved how she is.
Im sure you know this but you do not have to actually be with a man to have a baby it is something that you both can experience together and it could possibly help with ya's relationship. As for the other thing talk to her sit down and actually talk about how she is feeling and tell her if she needs time to think things through and make sure she is making the right choice then be able to do that and give her time but not too much of course.. I hope things turn out better! Maybe you both can find a church that accepts gays there are some churches that do. They will be able to help you feel comfortable being there as yourself...
For the past 2 years I've been in a relationship with a woman I dearly care about. It's the first time for us both, however, though we have no previous experiences of this sort - we feel that it's right. I suppose our biggest problem is that we live in a very Catholic country. Myself, I don't practice nor believe that God will sentence me to hell just cause I'm in a lesbian relationship but my gf was raised in a very Catholic family. Despite the time we've been together and what we share, she cannot fully come to terms with her 'newly' discovered sexuality. On and off she thinks its wrong to be with a person of the same sex and gets sad she can't fully participate in mass or that when she dies she'll go to hell... I have no idea how to counter this. And then there's the baby issue. She'd like to have a baby but doesn't imagine being with a man anymore to have one. I'd hate for her to wake up one day and feel she's made the biggest mistake of her life being with me and giving up on religion or a baby, which are two extremely important things to her. She is older than I am, perhaps that is why I'm a bit more open-minded and tolerant? Do I let her go? Wait for her to leave me so she can have a baby? I have no idea how to go about this. I know I'd hate to see her sad and that's what she is now - incapable of making a choice: mainstream 'normal family' or an alternative one ...Lesbian relationship advice?
My wife is/grew up Catholic. There IS a place that will accept you both, regardless of orientation:
http://www.dignityusa.org/
It's a place for gay Catholics.
Check them out %26amp; their website.
It's going to be hard for your girl to come to terms with how she feels %26amp; what the Church says is right %26amp; wrong. But don't let that get between your girl %26amp; her relationship to God. She's going to have to choose between the easy wrong of living a lie with a man in line with Catholic doctrine, or the hard right of living her life in truth.
You guys can still adopt, get a donor (another of our friends are doing this now), etc. So, her wanting a baby is doable. You just have to think outside the box a bit!
Hope this helps.Lesbian relationship advice?
Well for starters girls are the luckier sex if they wish to have a baby! Men's sperm is cheap while a surrogate mother or adoption is not! So she can still have a baby if she desires one! You are not keeping her from that and should not feel guilty about that one!
Her religion is another thing but is very workable, even the dreaded Catholic guilt! I'm Catholic myself and was lucky enough to have my Church accept, love and cherish me for who I am. Have her look around and find a church that fits her better! Yes there are Catholic churches out their that do this!!! With time and being in a church that loves and accepts you for who you are that guilt might very well go away.
well your one strong women to be listening to that everyday. baby this and church that. well i would say you be the better person and non-selfish (in a way) to let her go. she obviously has the issues and to me looks like shes going to make it your fault in the future about going to hell and not producing a child. if she wants to lie to herself and do what everyones expects of her like to go to church with her family one of these days, well i say you shouldnt bother. and 2yrs is a long time to end a relationship. if she feels that way.....let her. find yourself a lesbian-lesbian who is as much as tolerant as you :) ....not too lesbian-ish..lol.%26lt;--..those type of lesbians are nasty.,ew..lol. hoped i helped
One of my best les friends had a similar problem. In the end there's only so much you can do before the girl with issues decides. You can't change her relgious views even if they damage her self-image %26amp; self-esteem. Depending on where you're located, the baby issue could be solved by either adopting or artificial insemination (yep, no man-stick going up her box!). However, a baby would probably only complicate matters for her b/c now she'd have to deal w/ the Church's hangup on same-sex parents raising a child.
Kudos to you if you decide to hang in there %26amp; brave the possibility she might one day decide she can live w/ suppressing what she is in order to gain societal %26amp; Church approval. My bud, though, blew out of her relationship. Mind you, as she was also raised Catholic she also had issues w/ being the les she is %26amp; how it went against what she was taught on Sundays. But she came to terms with it, %26amp; she's a happy girl overall. Single, but happy!
From the looks of all these thorough answers, you're probably well informed on what you're options are here.
When it comes to the religion part, I was once in the same boat as your girlfriend. The struggle between my happiness and what God's word said would arise from time to time and I would get depressed and feel like I need to break up with her. I found after many years of this back and forth struggle, that I just needed to accept who I was and trust that God accepted me this way as well. I thought for a long time that Satan had a strong hold on me, that being lesbian was a bondage from hell. But when I tried being with a man, I felt like I was being tortured. She needs to be true to herself. She needs to talk to God about how she feels. She is a daughter of God, He wants her to be happy and to love herself. Satan wants us to be depressed and feel bad about who we are. Afterall, if we feel bad about ourselves, we are separating ourselves from the Lord. As long as she is living in condemnation, she is not pleasing God. She needs to pray about this, have a conversation with the Lord, and accept that she is loved how she is.
Im sure you know this but you do not have to actually be with a man to have a baby it is something that you both can experience together and it could possibly help with ya's relationship. As for the other thing talk to her sit down and actually talk about how she is feeling and tell her if she needs time to think things through and make sure she is making the right choice then be able to do that and give her time but not too much of course.. I hope things turn out better! Maybe you both can find a church that accepts gays there are some churches that do. They will be able to help you feel comfortable being there as yourself...
Need relationship advice.?
Everywhere I go my gf has to be right there. We have a 1 yr old together and I do my share of parenting without complaints, but she can't stop raising her voice at her because our kid 'annoys' her. Like if our kid climbs on the 2 ft high table she yells and yells at her then ends up spanking her on the diaper. Thankfully she's not traumatized by it but I just pick her up, say no maam I don't want you to hurt yourself then place her on the couch where she wants to be.
It seems my s/o can't be calm unless I'm in the room to leave the responsibility off her. When I go into the computer room to relax a bit and get some peace she starts calling me out saying I'm a coward, anti-social, I choose the computer over them, and so on.
It pisses me off. But when I return she'll start doing her thing and leave us alone. I don't say nothing and let her have her peace, trying to understand. an hour passes, then 2. And finally she comes back. We all play together then I leave the room wanting a breath real quick, by myself. Again she starts her **** up and freaks out. It's night time and our kid is getting cranky so she puts her in her toddle bed and shuts the door behind her. I can go on and on but dam how do I deal with my g/f. I love her, she's supportive of a lot of stuff, but when it comes to parenting she can't handle the load. She can't do a single thing by herself. And if I don't assist her she throws the biggest guilt trip. She can't change a diaper without calling me and asking me to fold the diaper up and throw it away, or getting baby powder. She can't give her a bath unless I come in and pick her up so she can wrap her up in a towel. She can't dress her unless I get socks and shoes ready..C'mon, I can understand lets do this together thing. But from day 1 she can't be a independent parent. I can do it just fine but seeing it and dealing with it gets old.I don't want to split but I'm a relationship and nice guy. I like to work things out.Need relationship advice.?
You both need help with parenting classes. You can find out if there are parenting classes in your area if you contact social services. There should be no hitting a small child for anything, but there should not be any child allowed to climb onto tables either. You have to learn how far you can go with discipline - both of you - or you will end up in a messy separation or divorce. You sound as though you are more capable than your wife/gf of handling the child. Just do not make the child suffer for her parents not knowing how to handle these problems, get help and get it before anything bad happens to ruin what you do have together.oily skin
It seems my s/o can't be calm unless I'm in the room to leave the responsibility off her. When I go into the computer room to relax a bit and get some peace she starts calling me out saying I'm a coward, anti-social, I choose the computer over them, and so on.
It pisses me off. But when I return she'll start doing her thing and leave us alone. I don't say nothing and let her have her peace, trying to understand. an hour passes, then 2. And finally she comes back. We all play together then I leave the room wanting a breath real quick, by myself. Again she starts her **** up and freaks out. It's night time and our kid is getting cranky so she puts her in her toddle bed and shuts the door behind her. I can go on and on but dam how do I deal with my g/f. I love her, she's supportive of a lot of stuff, but when it comes to parenting she can't handle the load. She can't do a single thing by herself. And if I don't assist her she throws the biggest guilt trip. She can't change a diaper without calling me and asking me to fold the diaper up and throw it away, or getting baby powder. She can't give her a bath unless I come in and pick her up so she can wrap her up in a towel. She can't dress her unless I get socks and shoes ready..C'mon, I can understand lets do this together thing. But from day 1 she can't be a independent parent. I can do it just fine but seeing it and dealing with it gets old.I don't want to split but I'm a relationship and nice guy. I like to work things out.Need relationship advice.?
You both need help with parenting classes. You can find out if there are parenting classes in your area if you contact social services. There should be no hitting a small child for anything, but there should not be any child allowed to climb onto tables either. You have to learn how far you can go with discipline - both of you - or you will end up in a messy separation or divorce. You sound as though you are more capable than your wife/gf of handling the child. Just do not make the child suffer for her parents not knowing how to handle these problems, get help and get it before anything bad happens to ruin what you do have together.
Weird relationship. advice please?
okayy so there was this guy i was talking to for a while and we really liked eachother even to the point of love but we werent boyfriend and girlfriend. wellll he started acting distant and then everytime we would talk it would be awkward. then one day he just wouldnt talk to me and he ignored me for about a week i got sad because when we would talk he always said he wanted me to be his girlfriend and i said he would have to wait and he said that he was perfectly fine with it because he loved me and there isnt anyone like me and im worth the wait. well he texted me today after a week of no communication apologizing for everything and i started talking to him and he said his mom just lost her job today and he had alot of things going on and he was dumbb well i dont know it sounded like a line to me but i started to feel for him again and we talked for a while and he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes:( i know i should be happy but no im not i regret it because the when he was gone for a while it broke my heart that he hurt me yahh i know a little dramatic but true but anyway i started talking to another friend ive known for a while and he said he loves me and i said i love you too:( so i dont know what to do i dont want to be his girlfriend but i dont want to lose him%26lt;3 but i dont want to lose the other guy either because the other guy has never hurt me:( goshh i feel so bad i need help who do i pick? how can i tell him i dont want to be with him? how can i still talk to both? is that wrong? :/ im sorry thats alot but thank you ahead of time for even reading this muchWeird relationship. advice please?
i was with one of my x's for 2 hours and then he decided he wanted to just be friends, that's all he had to say... just tell him how you feel and i'm sure he'll understand... unless he's a heartless dumbassWeird relationship. advice please?
As A Doctor...I think the only thing you can do in this situation is very very clear. call both of them to your home and tell them to arrive at 3pm exactly and when they both show up be waiting to give in to their sexual fantasy. yes they both want nothing but sex if your not willing to do this then don't worry about witch dude to date because all guy want is that yummy snatch.
You're cheating on your current boyfriend. That's just wrong. Either break up with him or tell him what's going on with the other guy. Don't let your boyfriend hear it from someone else.
same thing happened to me
he just stopped talking to me and then apologized
we went out on a date and then he said he just wanted to be friends
if he hurts you once, and you werent even going out, then i would just tell him that you dont know if you can be his girlfriend because he could just start ignoring you again and you wont know why. tell him you cant handle that but that you want to be friends.
i was with one of my x's for 2 hours and then he decided he wanted to just be friends, that's all he had to say... just tell him how you feel and i'm sure he'll understand... unless he's a heartless dumbassWeird relationship. advice please?
As A Doctor...I think the only thing you can do in this situation is very very clear. call both of them to your home and tell them to arrive at 3pm exactly and when they both show up be waiting to give in to their sexual fantasy. yes they both want nothing but sex if your not willing to do this then don't worry about witch dude to date because all guy want is that yummy snatch.
You're cheating on your current boyfriend. That's just wrong. Either break up with him or tell him what's going on with the other guy. Don't let your boyfriend hear it from someone else.
same thing happened to me
he just stopped talking to me and then apologized
we went out on a date and then he said he just wanted to be friends
if he hurts you once, and you werent even going out, then i would just tell him that you dont know if you can be his girlfriend because he could just start ignoring you again and you wont know why. tell him you cant handle that but that you want to be friends.
Serious Relationship Advice....HELP!?
PLEASE READ ALL AND ONLY SERIOUS HONEST OPINIONS:
I have been with this guy for almost three and a half years. I feel that I am not in love with him anymore. I am not 100% sure on leaving him yet. But I plan on making the decision soon. I basically live with his parents and where we live by law we are considered common-in-law. We always seem to fight, there is a lack of sexual anything (sex, kissing, touching, hugging, affection), trust, and just generally getting along. Yet somehow out of this all we still love each other. However, I am miserable. I want to move out and he says if I do that the relationship is pretty much over since I am proving to him I lack commitment and care for this relationship. I find that it is too much to live with his parents for any longer and I feel that living alone will help us appreciate each other and make things better. He thinks otherwise. I am basically looking for a overall opinion on this. Especially if you can relate to me.Serious Relationship Advice....HELP!?
I'm sorry I can't relate... but it sounds to me like you have already talked to him about it and he doesn't want to make the effort to make you feel more special... so I think that you should definetly break up w/ him... I wouldn't want to be w/ a guy who didn't show me that he loved me like thatSerious Relationship Advice....HELP!?
Well, its either stay with him, or leave him. Dont keep the relationship droning on if your going to move out because obviously hes not going to be very happy and wont be willing to work with you to make it better. May be give it a week or two and really pay attention to the way he acts, and if you want to stay with him because if your not in love anymore and its just not working out hes obviously not the right one for you.
It sounds like you are so ready to go on with you life and he isn't. You deserve better for yourself so you must do you. Life is to short to waste it where you are not happy. Put your cap on and head up that road to happiness you will find life much better for yourself. It may seem hard alone at first but in the long run you will see anything is possible to the life you want to live. Do you girl and be smart. Leave him and go on. Let him stay with his mom why should you.
He sounds selfish and inconsiderate. I know you love him, but if you can't see yourself marrying him or spending the rest of your life the way it is now, then you're only wasting time. I say he seems selfish because he's being manipulative and using guilt trips against you to get what he wants, while disregarding what you want.
I know it seems like throwing away over 3 years, but you won't regret it. I promise, relationships can be good, and everyone deserves it.
I'd say, don't even talk about it with him, you just need to make a clean break. GL
I think that there was never true love to begin with because you already going to leave him yet you say that you love him, that doesn't make since but i mean if your not happy then what the point of being with him!
if you aren't happy..then why stay? it's not going to change. End the relationship and find someone who does make you happy. its ok to let it go when you know in your heart that there is nothing more that you can do
tell him you love him and take him to a romantic movie and lay on him and kiss him
i think you should just wait a little longer see how you feel. but ultimatley its up to you, if your not ready he'll understand
Hello sister In Christ, I think your boyfriend needs to grow up..You need to put your faith in God first, Your living in Sin...Why is it hard for us to live alone with God we know His comandments, and yet we never live by them...Your boyfriend is not ready to be the man that God wants him to be...Let him prove to you that he can and will live on his own with out his parents help and with out you, If a Man dont love God, and live for God first how can he love his wife and children as Jesus Christ loves the Church, My advice to you is get your life right with God, Put God first, live your life according to the Word and God will make sure He gives you the right husband, God Bless you, I know by experience, I live it every day...rember God loves you and he wants you to live a happy and joyful life...
Feeling that you are in love with him and being in love with him is pretty much two different things. If you are in love with this guy for real and true the feeling will come back - once your relationship picks up again. You might just need to initiate something to get it going again. Do something you two both use to love with three and a half years you guys have a lot of history to work through.. If you seriously don't feel that you actually love the guy anymore and don't think that a marraige relationship would work (as this is pretty much the next step if anything for you guys) then don't stay with this guy just for security purposes. You're not married and you don't want to remain miserable and always just hoping for things to get better - especially if you meet another single guy down the line in two or three years after you're married because that would be totally unfair for you to just get up and just leave after marrying him - you're his for life.
i relate to you completely!!!!!! i moved in with my boyfriend and his parents right after high school grad. we didn't really fight at that time, just wanted our own apt. we moved out and had our own place for 3 years, then moved back so we could afford for me to work part time and go to college. (and save money to buy a house) well then we fought quite a bit (esp for us, we don't fight) it drove me insane and i wanted to get out,. i thought i wasn't in love with him anymore. i was stressed constantly and couldn't take it anymore. i sat him down and told him how i felt. within 2 weeks he was out looking for a house daily. we get along great and are more in love than ever. it's just having that many people in the same house all the time is HARD. you can't be loud. sex is ackward cause you don't want to bother anyone. but when you have your own place it's much much better. BUT you also have to consider the fact that you don't love him anymore and just want out. this was our case, not everyones. and you don't want to get a place together and then decide to leave and leave him with everythng. good luck!
I have been with this guy for almost three and a half years. I feel that I am not in love with him anymore. I am not 100% sure on leaving him yet. But I plan on making the decision soon. I basically live with his parents and where we live by law we are considered common-in-law. We always seem to fight, there is a lack of sexual anything (sex, kissing, touching, hugging, affection), trust, and just generally getting along. Yet somehow out of this all we still love each other. However, I am miserable. I want to move out and he says if I do that the relationship is pretty much over since I am proving to him I lack commitment and care for this relationship. I find that it is too much to live with his parents for any longer and I feel that living alone will help us appreciate each other and make things better. He thinks otherwise. I am basically looking for a overall opinion on this. Especially if you can relate to me.Serious Relationship Advice....HELP!?
I'm sorry I can't relate... but it sounds to me like you have already talked to him about it and he doesn't want to make the effort to make you feel more special... so I think that you should definetly break up w/ him... I wouldn't want to be w/ a guy who didn't show me that he loved me like thatSerious Relationship Advice....HELP!?
Well, its either stay with him, or leave him. Dont keep the relationship droning on if your going to move out because obviously hes not going to be very happy and wont be willing to work with you to make it better. May be give it a week or two and really pay attention to the way he acts, and if you want to stay with him because if your not in love anymore and its just not working out hes obviously not the right one for you.
It sounds like you are so ready to go on with you life and he isn't. You deserve better for yourself so you must do you. Life is to short to waste it where you are not happy. Put your cap on and head up that road to happiness you will find life much better for yourself. It may seem hard alone at first but in the long run you will see anything is possible to the life you want to live. Do you girl and be smart. Leave him and go on. Let him stay with his mom why should you.
He sounds selfish and inconsiderate. I know you love him, but if you can't see yourself marrying him or spending the rest of your life the way it is now, then you're only wasting time. I say he seems selfish because he's being manipulative and using guilt trips against you to get what he wants, while disregarding what you want.
I know it seems like throwing away over 3 years, but you won't regret it. I promise, relationships can be good, and everyone deserves it.
I'd say, don't even talk about it with him, you just need to make a clean break. GL
I think that there was never true love to begin with because you already going to leave him yet you say that you love him, that doesn't make since but i mean if your not happy then what the point of being with him!
if you aren't happy..then why stay? it's not going to change. End the relationship and find someone who does make you happy. its ok to let it go when you know in your heart that there is nothing more that you can do
tell him you love him and take him to a romantic movie and lay on him and kiss him
i think you should just wait a little longer see how you feel. but ultimatley its up to you, if your not ready he'll understand
Hello sister In Christ, I think your boyfriend needs to grow up..You need to put your faith in God first, Your living in Sin...Why is it hard for us to live alone with God we know His comandments, and yet we never live by them...Your boyfriend is not ready to be the man that God wants him to be...Let him prove to you that he can and will live on his own with out his parents help and with out you, If a Man dont love God, and live for God first how can he love his wife and children as Jesus Christ loves the Church, My advice to you is get your life right with God, Put God first, live your life according to the Word and God will make sure He gives you the right husband, God Bless you, I know by experience, I live it every day...rember God loves you and he wants you to live a happy and joyful life...
Feeling that you are in love with him and being in love with him is pretty much two different things. If you are in love with this guy for real and true the feeling will come back - once your relationship picks up again. You might just need to initiate something to get it going again. Do something you two both use to love with three and a half years you guys have a lot of history to work through.. If you seriously don't feel that you actually love the guy anymore and don't think that a marraige relationship would work (as this is pretty much the next step if anything for you guys) then don't stay with this guy just for security purposes. You're not married and you don't want to remain miserable and always just hoping for things to get better - especially if you meet another single guy down the line in two or three years after you're married because that would be totally unfair for you to just get up and just leave after marrying him - you're his for life.
i relate to you completely!!!!!! i moved in with my boyfriend and his parents right after high school grad. we didn't really fight at that time, just wanted our own apt. we moved out and had our own place for 3 years, then moved back so we could afford for me to work part time and go to college. (and save money to buy a house) well then we fought quite a bit (esp for us, we don't fight) it drove me insane and i wanted to get out,. i thought i wasn't in love with him anymore. i was stressed constantly and couldn't take it anymore. i sat him down and told him how i felt. within 2 weeks he was out looking for a house daily. we get along great and are more in love than ever. it's just having that many people in the same house all the time is HARD. you can't be loud. sex is ackward cause you don't want to bother anyone. but when you have your own place it's much much better. BUT you also have to consider the fact that you don't love him anymore and just want out. this was our case, not everyones. and you don't want to get a place together and then decide to leave and leave him with everythng. good luck!
Ugh, relationship advice...EX help.?
i just got broken up with about a month ago, and i'm fine.
I was with this person for about a year, and i just wanted to know how he was doing i guess.
I'm not even sure i want to be friends
and i'm pretty sure i don't want him back.
I just feel uncomfortable with
the fact that after being in this relationship with me for such a while and expressing how much he ';loved'; me, he threw me out of his life so easily.
i see him everyday, and we havent talked in about a month
so why am i feeling like this?
and should i text him?
thanks for your help in advance.
(:Ugh, relationship advice...EX help.?
i saw leave him alone for awhile. My ex did the same thign to me, now he shrugs me off like we never dated..Im not sure why.
but the girl he cheated on me with hes now dating and has a kid with...sure that has something to do with it..
But just walk away...Ugh, relationship advice...EX help.?
I'm in the EXACT same situation except he told me he hates me because we got in a fight. it was really stupid too. im looking for the same advice, he really meant a lot to me. my life just seems so empty without him in it at all so i really do want to be friends but he's so stubborn and wont even look at me.
I was with this person for about a year, and i just wanted to know how he was doing i guess.
I'm not even sure i want to be friends
and i'm pretty sure i don't want him back.
I just feel uncomfortable with
the fact that after being in this relationship with me for such a while and expressing how much he ';loved'; me, he threw me out of his life so easily.
i see him everyday, and we havent talked in about a month
so why am i feeling like this?
and should i text him?
thanks for your help in advance.
(:Ugh, relationship advice...EX help.?
i saw leave him alone for awhile. My ex did the same thign to me, now he shrugs me off like we never dated..Im not sure why.
but the girl he cheated on me with hes now dating and has a kid with...sure that has something to do with it..
But just walk away...Ugh, relationship advice...EX help.?
I'm in the EXACT same situation except he told me he hates me because we got in a fight. it was really stupid too. im looking for the same advice, he really meant a lot to me. my life just seems so empty without him in it at all so i really do want to be friends but he's so stubborn and wont even look at me.
Serious Relationship Advice?
I've been dating a girl for a year and a half. She's the love of my life, I just started at the college she has been going to this year (I got a scholarship for track) and its 800 miles from my home. Weve had our share of problems, but she just can't seem to get over her ex. Were just dating now, not in an actual relationship, but her ex is crazy. If he sees my truck parked at her apartment, he'll key it. I love her with all my heart. She told me that when she's around him, she doesn't feel anything, but she tries to force herself to. That she doesn't want him but she doesn't want him to want anyone else. Anyways, last night we got in a fight because I told her this hurts me too much and I can't do it anymore and everytime she is just like, ';I can't deal with this right now.'; I tell her I'm going to walk away she tells me not too, or she comes back in my life. What should I do? Should I wait it out? Or give her an ultimatum or let go? And if so, how do I go about it?Serious Relationship Advice?
she's not over him yet, why else would she care if he's with someone else or not. you're just setting yourself up for getting hurt. no offense, but it sounds like both she and her ex are crazy. it's better if you move on with your life, there's something/someone better out there for you. it's either she's crazy or playing games, you don't need that if what you're looking for is a serious, mature relationship.Serious Relationship Advice?
You may love her, but love isn't everything, I assure you.
The two things that jump out at me are her obvious unhealthy choices in men (the previous boyfriend and not you), tho it could be only one mistake she has made, what is she even doing putting up with him if she actually doesn't care for him at all? Something amiss here.
And someone who avoids discussing problems every time they are approached will be a pain in the future. Believe me, trying to build anything with one who only avoids the unpleasant is a problem.
I would advise you to let go and don't look back no matter what she says or does. Honestly, honey, this is trouble. And if she can't get over this guy, she can't make room for you in any real way. It's a total waste of your time.
Its not fair on you. You're giving all yourself to her and shes not doing the same. Theres no way this relationship is equal. I think you know in your gut what you should do
Ultimatum, then if she doesn't follow through, let her go.
I've seen this time %26amp; again, and just happened to our friend, who was married. His marriage broke up because his wife still had ties with her ex, whom she got back together with - this after 5 years of marriage to our friend (who was devastated).
If your g/f doesn't cease communication with her ex right now - especially after he keyed your car(!) - you really need to let her go, for your own sake.
You cannot force a relationship. If there are so many obstacles thrown in the path, then there is a reason for it. You are at a school 800 miles away from everything. Start living your own life. If it is meant to be, events will occur to help make it so. If you try to force the issue you will simply lose her friendship too. Let her untangle her life.
You never know, there may be another love of your life right in front of your eyes but you cannot see her because of the blinders you have placed on yourself.
BTW, ultimatus are never a good idea. They always garner resistance and resentment.
My advice is move on. There are lots of women out there. First, long distance relationships rarely work. Second, your young. There is plenty of opportunity for you to find a new girl. If she were serious, she would never even see her ex. Ultimatums will hardly ever work in your favor and can be a sore spot for years if she accepts.
She's a nut job, lose her.
She isn't ready for a relationship with anyone. She sounds really immature. Tell her it has to be only you or not you at all. Stick to it. You might be wasting your time with her. There are plenty of girls who would love to have your attentions.
Wow! This is my honest opinion, but I believe that you need to cut your losses and go. It seems like she doesn't want you to be happy either. From my point of view I see that if she is suffering then you do too, but she doesn't feel anything like you do for her. You have sacrificed enough of yourself and you need to start dating other people. If she is so hung up on her ex then she just needs to go back to him.
Honestly, you sound like a good guy and you deserve better than what she is willing to give to you. You're still young and other girls will come into your life. If she sees that you are moving on it might let her decide what she really wants and maybe the two of you can have a more stable relationship. She's not ready to make difficult decisions and you have to be the one to do it.
I wish you all the luck with this situation. And remember that leaving her is not going to hurt so much in the long run, but will be better for you. It's that first week that will be difficult, but you can do it.....
GL!!
RUN
she's not over him yet, why else would she care if he's with someone else or not. you're just setting yourself up for getting hurt. no offense, but it sounds like both she and her ex are crazy. it's better if you move on with your life, there's something/someone better out there for you. it's either she's crazy or playing games, you don't need that if what you're looking for is a serious, mature relationship.Serious Relationship Advice?
You may love her, but love isn't everything, I assure you.
The two things that jump out at me are her obvious unhealthy choices in men (the previous boyfriend and not you), tho it could be only one mistake she has made, what is she even doing putting up with him if she actually doesn't care for him at all? Something amiss here.
And someone who avoids discussing problems every time they are approached will be a pain in the future. Believe me, trying to build anything with one who only avoids the unpleasant is a problem.
I would advise you to let go and don't look back no matter what she says or does. Honestly, honey, this is trouble. And if she can't get over this guy, she can't make room for you in any real way. It's a total waste of your time.
Its not fair on you. You're giving all yourself to her and shes not doing the same. Theres no way this relationship is equal. I think you know in your gut what you should do
Ultimatum, then if she doesn't follow through, let her go.
I've seen this time %26amp; again, and just happened to our friend, who was married. His marriage broke up because his wife still had ties with her ex, whom she got back together with - this after 5 years of marriage to our friend (who was devastated).
If your g/f doesn't cease communication with her ex right now - especially after he keyed your car(!) - you really need to let her go, for your own sake.
You cannot force a relationship. If there are so many obstacles thrown in the path, then there is a reason for it. You are at a school 800 miles away from everything. Start living your own life. If it is meant to be, events will occur to help make it so. If you try to force the issue you will simply lose her friendship too. Let her untangle her life.
You never know, there may be another love of your life right in front of your eyes but you cannot see her because of the blinders you have placed on yourself.
BTW, ultimatus are never a good idea. They always garner resistance and resentment.
My advice is move on. There are lots of women out there. First, long distance relationships rarely work. Second, your young. There is plenty of opportunity for you to find a new girl. If she were serious, she would never even see her ex. Ultimatums will hardly ever work in your favor and can be a sore spot for years if she accepts.
She's a nut job, lose her.
She isn't ready for a relationship with anyone. She sounds really immature. Tell her it has to be only you or not you at all. Stick to it. You might be wasting your time with her. There are plenty of girls who would love to have your attentions.
Wow! This is my honest opinion, but I believe that you need to cut your losses and go. It seems like she doesn't want you to be happy either. From my point of view I see that if she is suffering then you do too, but she doesn't feel anything like you do for her. You have sacrificed enough of yourself and you need to start dating other people. If she is so hung up on her ex then she just needs to go back to him.
Honestly, you sound like a good guy and you deserve better than what she is willing to give to you. You're still young and other girls will come into your life. If she sees that you are moving on it might let her decide what she really wants and maybe the two of you can have a more stable relationship. She's not ready to make difficult decisions and you have to be the one to do it.
I wish you all the luck with this situation. And remember that leaving her is not going to hurt so much in the long run, but will be better for you. It's that first week that will be difficult, but you can do it.....
GL!!
RUN
I need relationship advice?
hello i need your help and advice. You see I dated this girl six months ago, and we broke up recently and I haven't seen her in about 3 months... And she promised that she was going to come this Sunday for us to meet at Church once again. I called her numerous times today but she kept ignoring my cell phone calls to her cell phone... Then I tested her and called her from my job's phone... And she picked up and I said my name and said, ';Can you come to church?'; And she hung up on me.... I don't know what to do... Please help me, should I call her Today later in the evening to see if she is coming or not??? You tell me what I should do?I need relationship advice?
It's time to find a new girlfriend. You don't hang -up on someone you care for.
It's time to find a new girlfriend. You don't hang -up on someone you care for.
I need relationship advice...?
I fell completely in love with my girlfriend and now after all the fighting we've ever done..she's decided to say i'd be better off without her (being as i start all the fights).
The truth is I'm not better off without her, she makes me really happy, i love her so much, but she won't believe me when i say i want her to be in my life forever....i don't think it's fair she's making this decision for me as to how i'm going to be spending the rest of my life..she knows, and i have said this...i want to be with her for the rest of my life....i just don't understand...
I've told her everything I can possibly think of...I've gotten mad, I've been sensitive, I've been mean, I've been nice...I've said everything I can say..and I KNOW she's wrong this time...I've taken advantage of all we have..and I realize that now...she says she just can't shake the feeling she won't make me happy..i know that's not true. i've given up....what do i do?...no jerk comments either...i'm in pieces...I need relationship advice...?
Have you thought maybe you've just plain old blown it. Most people don't want to spend all the time fighting. That gets old. Makes you tired. You are thinking of yourself.....only. She has made the wise decision that this is not the way she wants to spend the rest of her life. Sure easy for you to say. I can relate to that stuff, and pretty soon, you just get tired and you will not believe how easy it is to just walk away from it and never look back. Life's too short. She's taken a good look at your relationship and decided.Oh hell, no! She's not making your decision. She's not following your rules anymore! The harsh things that people say when they are fighting each other sometime stick. Everybody can't live the rest of their life like that. You forgot one thing, you weren't married. She is free to walk away at anytime, and you are just now facing the reality.........oh boy, she can! Now you're full of promises she doesn't want to hear anymore. I suggest you step back and give her time. That's why you've run out of ways to get her back. This time she means it! You understand....let's just call it denial. Think about it!oily skin
The truth is I'm not better off without her, she makes me really happy, i love her so much, but she won't believe me when i say i want her to be in my life forever....i don't think it's fair she's making this decision for me as to how i'm going to be spending the rest of my life..she knows, and i have said this...i want to be with her for the rest of my life....i just don't understand...
I've told her everything I can possibly think of...I've gotten mad, I've been sensitive, I've been mean, I've been nice...I've said everything I can say..and I KNOW she's wrong this time...I've taken advantage of all we have..and I realize that now...she says she just can't shake the feeling she won't make me happy..i know that's not true. i've given up....what do i do?...no jerk comments either...i'm in pieces...I need relationship advice...?
Have you thought maybe you've just plain old blown it. Most people don't want to spend all the time fighting. That gets old. Makes you tired. You are thinking of yourself.....only. She has made the wise decision that this is not the way she wants to spend the rest of her life. Sure easy for you to say. I can relate to that stuff, and pretty soon, you just get tired and you will not believe how easy it is to just walk away from it and never look back. Life's too short. She's taken a good look at your relationship and decided.Oh hell, no! She's not making your decision. She's not following your rules anymore! The harsh things that people say when they are fighting each other sometime stick. Everybody can't live the rest of their life like that. You forgot one thing, you weren't married. She is free to walk away at anytime, and you are just now facing the reality.........oh boy, she can! Now you're full of promises she doesn't want to hear anymore. I suggest you step back and give her time. That's why you've run out of ways to get her back. This time she means it! You understand....let's just call it denial. Think about it!
Long distance relationship advice?
Well, I was dating this girl. There was a party at her house, and we were alone in her bedroom. Then her two older brothers walk in on us. Unbelievable. I got in one little fight, and my mom got scared, and said ';you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air';. I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said 'Fresh' and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare but I thought 'nah, forget it',';yo homes, to Bel-Air';. I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, when I said to the cabbie, ';yo homes, smell ya later!'; Looked in my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit in my throne, as the prince of Bel-Air.Long distance relationship advice?
Ahahahahahahhahahhahahahhaa.Long distance relationship advice?
I was born in the 80's
Ahahahahahahhahahhahahahhaa.Long distance relationship advice?
I was born in the 80's
I need relationship advice, I really screwed things up with my boyfriend?
Basically, my ex boyfriend who I dated for a year and a half and was in love with started texting me lately. I'm over him, completely. But the night he texted me I was upset with my boyfriend so I flirted with him... a lot. I said things like ';I want to come over'; and ';if I had car I would'; and he said he'd come pick me up, but I drew the line there and told him no that's a bad idea. My boyfriend got a hold of my phone that night and it upset him so bad. Ive never seen him so hurt and so betrayed. I have no idea how to fix this. He said he can't bring himself to breakup with me because I'm the only person he can see himself with but then again he doesn't know how long our trust less relationship will last. Someone please help me. I can't lose him. I don't ever want to do that to him again, and I know I never will... but how can I make him see that?I need relationship advice, I really screwed things up with my boyfriend?
Not going to lie, but you definitely screwed things up big time.
Just sit down with him, and talk it over. Admit to him you made a mistake, and apologize. Assure him you won't do anything like that again, and I'm pretty sure if he loves you enough, he'll understand.
Love is a bumpy road, and stuff like this can only make it stronger in some cases.
Good luck.
:)I need relationship advice, I really screwed things up with my boyfriend?
Tell him what you told us. Leave out no details.
wow sweetie. im really sorry. see, that's why i have a lock on my phone. haha..anyway. more serious..i think trust is always hard. no matter if ur in a good relationship or not. i think you need to be upfront and honest with your boyfriend. the truth hurts sometimes, but its better to say it than leave it. idk how you can make him see that you want him..cuz what you did. but i've been in the situation before..and truthfully, the best policy was and is honesty. maybe just give him a day to cool off, and dont play victim when he comes back around. im not trying to sound mean or anything..so im sorry about that..but you know you were in the wrong. but everyone makes mistakes. and he must be a good guy..your current boyfriend..if he says he cant break up with you..just take things slow..and dont let it just blow over like nothing happened..trust me thats worse. if u need anything else, my email is arodshorty13@yahoo.com good luck with everything :)
Not going to lie, but you definitely screwed things up big time.
Just sit down with him, and talk it over. Admit to him you made a mistake, and apologize. Assure him you won't do anything like that again, and I'm pretty sure if he loves you enough, he'll understand.
Love is a bumpy road, and stuff like this can only make it stronger in some cases.
Good luck.
:)I need relationship advice, I really screwed things up with my boyfriend?
Tell him what you told us. Leave out no details.
wow sweetie. im really sorry. see, that's why i have a lock on my phone. haha..anyway. more serious..i think trust is always hard. no matter if ur in a good relationship or not. i think you need to be upfront and honest with your boyfriend. the truth hurts sometimes, but its better to say it than leave it. idk how you can make him see that you want him..cuz what you did. but i've been in the situation before..and truthfully, the best policy was and is honesty. maybe just give him a day to cool off, and dont play victim when he comes back around. im not trying to sound mean or anything..so im sorry about that..but you know you were in the wrong. but everyone makes mistakes. and he must be a good guy..your current boyfriend..if he says he cant break up with you..just take things slow..and dont let it just blow over like nothing happened..trust me thats worse. if u need anything else, my email is arodshorty13@yahoo.com good luck with everything :)
24wks pregnant- Relationship Advice?
Ive been with this guy for 2years next month. When I found out i was pregnant, he was real excited. Now he is not supportive at all. Hes tells his friends i shouldve gotten an abortion.. Which are the only people he cares about and being with. I dont know if hes cheated on me or not but he wouldnt tell me if he has. He doesnt ever ask how i feel and hasnt been to any doctor visit with me, I grew up without a dad and the only thing i wanted for my son was to not have to go through that. When i told him that, from the begining, he said he would never leave me. But actions speak louder then words. Its like hes a completely differnt person, Should i stay with him or leave him.. anyone going through this.?24wks pregnant- Relationship Advice?
My mum went through the exact same thing during her pregnancy , but her husband cheated on her in the end. I say get out right now, your going through a very tough time and its a time when you need him most and you either need him there with you and being supportive and helping you or you don't need him at all. You will find someone out there for you he's just not that guy and the sooner you ditch him the sooner you can look for mr right. I know it might seem not as easy as that but it really is, without him you'll still have your family and friends and you won't have all the pressure from the worrying about if hes cheated on you or not. If you get out now it will be one decision that you will not regret. Your child can still visit his dad if you want him to growing up , but im sure you will find someone who will want to be with you and your child.24wks pregnant- Relationship Advice?
You should decide to stay or leave him while pregnant...you can not trust your feelings when your hormones are raging through your body. It does sound like the both of you are very young still and have a lot of maturing to do. Talk to your boyfriend and explain how you are feeling, hear his side of things about how he is feeling and get to know eachother in a deeper way. It could be that he is scared of the awsome responsability that comes with a child.
my bff of 12 years went through something similar, when she got pregnant with their 2nd son and she got big he started going to the club and seeing other women his reason were that she was too big to come to the club and catch him. he treated her really horrible and we spent many nights up crying together. as soon as she had her son and lost her baby weight he became the ';perfect'; husband and father again. but now she has to deal with someone else claiming to be pregnant by her husband. you said it yourself honey actions speak louder than words and you can do bad by yourself. only you can answer should you stay or go. maybe he is scared to death at the thought of bringing a life into this world. or maybe his friends influenced him... i hope things get better for you hun.
My mum went through the exact same thing during her pregnancy , but her husband cheated on her in the end. I say get out right now, your going through a very tough time and its a time when you need him most and you either need him there with you and being supportive and helping you or you don't need him at all. You will find someone out there for you he's just not that guy and the sooner you ditch him the sooner you can look for mr right. I know it might seem not as easy as that but it really is, without him you'll still have your family and friends and you won't have all the pressure from the worrying about if hes cheated on you or not. If you get out now it will be one decision that you will not regret. Your child can still visit his dad if you want him to growing up , but im sure you will find someone who will want to be with you and your child.24wks pregnant- Relationship Advice?
You should decide to stay or leave him while pregnant...you can not trust your feelings when your hormones are raging through your body. It does sound like the both of you are very young still and have a lot of maturing to do. Talk to your boyfriend and explain how you are feeling, hear his side of things about how he is feeling and get to know eachother in a deeper way. It could be that he is scared of the awsome responsability that comes with a child.
my bff of 12 years went through something similar, when she got pregnant with their 2nd son and she got big he started going to the club and seeing other women his reason were that she was too big to come to the club and catch him. he treated her really horrible and we spent many nights up crying together. as soon as she had her son and lost her baby weight he became the ';perfect'; husband and father again. but now she has to deal with someone else claiming to be pregnant by her husband. you said it yourself honey actions speak louder than words and you can do bad by yourself. only you can answer should you stay or go. maybe he is scared to death at the thought of bringing a life into this world. or maybe his friends influenced him... i hope things get better for you hun.
Need some relationship advice...?
My girlfriend and I broke up 8 days ago. We were together for two years and are madly in love with each other. Were taking a break/breakup beacuse she's afraid of the future. Were both in our senior year of college and she's a lil scared of moving in together and going to grad school. What can I do or say to make it better and get us back on track. Right now we need space and to take time to ourselves. So I've been writing music and I'm going to record some songs that are for her and about her. Good idea? How do i get us back on track? I think she feels un appreciated also but idk she wont say?Need some relationship advice...?
cockNeed some relationship advice...?
Help her feel more comfortable with the future. Discuss your future plans. Us women just want to feel special and loved. Recording the songs for her will make her feel special. That should be nice! Also make sure she doesnt think you are rushing to move in with her. Maybe she is thinking about marriage and not wanting to give her all to you and you not move on to the next step that us women also want. That is to be a man's wife and not just ';girlfriend';
Hope this helps!!!
shes not ready.
cockNeed some relationship advice...?
Help her feel more comfortable with the future. Discuss your future plans. Us women just want to feel special and loved. Recording the songs for her will make her feel special. That should be nice! Also make sure she doesnt think you are rushing to move in with her. Maybe she is thinking about marriage and not wanting to give her all to you and you not move on to the next step that us women also want. That is to be a man's wife and not just ';girlfriend';
Hope this helps!!!
shes not ready.
I need relationship advice =[ PLEASE?
My boyfriend and i have been in an on-and-of relationship for a while now, and we recently got back together on sunday. He talks about other girls constantly and never texts as often as he used too. I just txted him about 20 mins ago and he just kept giving me 1 word replys, ITS JUST PLAIN BORING lol. I don't want to break up with him cuz i've done that like 5 times already lol hence the word on-and-off lol. I want to make this work i do, but how?
P.S- this is a long distance relationship
-He talks about his ex-gf Arry alot =[I need relationship advice =[ PLEASE?
Since he cant trust u because uve broken up with him so many times, hes only gonna use u and keep the girls on the side because he figures ull just end it either way. Hes prolly not reponding as a part of his hard to get back scheme. I guess just prove him wrong and stay by his side, then see what he does...
P.S- this is a long distance relationship
-He talks about his ex-gf Arry alot =[I need relationship advice =[ PLEASE?
Since he cant trust u because uve broken up with him so many times, hes only gonna use u and keep the girls on the side because he figures ull just end it either way. Hes prolly not reponding as a part of his hard to get back scheme. I guess just prove him wrong and stay by his side, then see what he does...
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