Need relationship advice ..Please........?

keep taking the blame for my ex of 3 years and his abuse and our break up. We have been split for 4 months now and he wants nothing to do with me, I find myself calling him every now and then and falling back, He doesnt answer- But anyhow ill be good for a week and then call him again. I can only seem to think of the good times when we had so many bad. I feel like nothing with out him, and tried everything, enrolling back in college, new apt., friends, proffesionals, etc. Nothing , not even time and its really heart renching. Need serious advice.Need relationship advice ..Please........?
GET INTO COUNSELING!!! If you are still calling him, then you are more needy than any advice that we can give you on-line. He must be laughing pretty hard when he sees your number pop up on caller ID. He must be sooooooo proud of himself, that he's such a great catch now you can't let go.





Don't you have any self-esteem?? Why would you want him laughing at you and telling all his family and friends how pathetic you are? Don't you realize that he can apply to the court to get a restraining order against you because you're harassing him? Trying to contact someone repeatedly when it's obvious that they don't want any contact with you is harassment!!





I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt but I went to a counselor, a holistic counseor, and I got help!!Need relationship advice ..Please........?
Blame after 3 years should not be an issue. It was over, it is over, it is over. You have to let go of the falling back routine. You should take advantage of what you learned in this sorry relationship and move forward. Sure, it hurts and is heart renching, but after a time you have to just recognize these issues as facts and try to make new meaningful realtionships.





Time is only effective in healing if you let the past be the past. If you continue to focus on the past, it becomes your present (and nobody elses!).





You are doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different to result. This is the definition of insanity, and this is where you will stay until you forgive yourself and others for the past and make plans for the future. Then, time will heal and you will become more focused on the now and be happier.
write everything you feel about this man in a letter, the good, the bad, and the ugly, then put it in an envelope, adress it as if you were going to send it......stand over the garbage can and cut it up, and as you cut it into pieces, say aloud ';I'm letting you go.';
It sounds like you have tried everything. I guess the only thing you have left is to try to find a different counselor to talk to because this one is obviously not helping you. Have you tried depression meds or anything? Maybe you should try that. At least the logical part of you knows this wasn't your fault. Good luck and stay strong.
stop calln him every few weeks or a few months it doesnt matter just cutt him off completely or youll get hurt even more having your hopes up only to be put down after a while you will stop wanting to call him find someone new someone to keep u happy n have more good times then bad





(and really cutt him off thats the #1 step!!!)
You need to find anothrt man. Trust me, it's the only way to get over your ex.


You will have a new love to think about, and your ex will barely ever cross your mind.








good luck!
heres the best piece of advice i got...


Jenna Haze+vaseline+jackin off=good times...





try doin somethin that involves push and pull or somthin..
Give it some more time. Every thing happens for a reason and time go's by fast enough! You will be ok in time.
find another person dear. 4 months you have already lost him. Forget him start life with new light :)
For one, you are safe and not having to put up with the abuse.


You need to take time to heal yourself from all the abuse.You matter a lot to all those who are around you. It seems you did not matter to the ex at all.


And it be best to take this time of healing, and surely there is one man


out there, who will think the world of you and would do his best to care for you in spite of the ex.


The ex was verbal abusive with me and i do the best i can to keep away from him, cause I have 2 girls and no one deserves to be hit or verbal abuse, no one deserves it.


Hope this has been helpful~


Yours truly~


sissa~
My advice to you is to take a step back at reevaluate yourself and your life. I am or WAS in a very similar situation.. someone i have been dating for on and off for 5 years.. I was becoming obssessive and wanted to contact him. It is NOT healthy for you and your state of mind. You need to focus on value yourself and having that respect for yourself. It seems to me that he does not respect you, so why would you want to be with someone who thinks less of you.





They say to keep busy, but dont do it JUST to keep your mind off him, DO IT because YOU HAVE A LIFE!! You have to want it bad enough to move on..





Good luck!
Hi Shhh,


Have you lost it or something. Why is it that us girls are so needy. I have found that guys are interested in sex and we are interested in relationships. Once they get the sex they know that they don't have to hang around, but they do cause they can get what ever they want and need from us and they aren't giving us much of anything. We seem to be satisfied with the mere fact that that are around us. They are always the ones that get the best of everything in the relationships. The love really don't seem like love we just act like it is. When there is a break up the man can walk away from us and get with someone else as though we didn't exist, but us we will take them back in a heart beat no matter how rough the relationship was. We act as though there is no other man on the planet. There have been women who know of guys that would give them the world, but they are so in love with this guy that don't give a dam that they can't imagine living a loving and prosperous life with a man that loves the fat around her gut. When you break up with a guy you are not suppose to give up on life. He is not worth all that. It doesn't matter the reason the fact is you are no longer his girl. So now you are free to do what ever and who ever you choose. Do you remember the days before you met him. You need to go back to being your old self. You are smart and you are strong and the way you have fallen into the dump as though that is your rightful place is discouraging to other woman. We need to set examples for each other. No one can help how they feel about a man, sometimes the things that happen in a


relationship can't be helped, but you can help how you feel about you. Read what you wrote at the bottom of your cry for help.( I can only seem to think of the good times when we had so many bad. I feel like nothing with out him, and tried everything, enrolling back in college, new apt., friends, proffesionals, etc. Nothing , not even time and its really heart wrenching. Need serious advice. Do all the things you say you. I have given you some serious advice.) First thing forget about him start thinking about you and if someone came to you with a similar problem what could you tell them other than you had gone through the same thing. So climb out of the dump. Dress yourself up put on your pretty face and join the land of the living. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of thinking I was hurt over him even if I was. Now get ready to be someone's girl friend that will really respect, protect and love you like you deserve.