Relationship advice?

Long story short my husband and i have been married for about 4 months. A few months prior to marriage he had a woman friend, who he was talking to behind my back. He claims they were only friends however hid it from me. I chose to believe otherwise, yet forgave him anyway. NOw i find that I really havent forgiven wholeheartedly. I get mad at him for the little things, and I dont even trust him. He says he loves me, and he wants to work at our realtionship, even working OT so we can put down on a house. But with my paranoid mind, I always think otherwise. With his hectic schedule, we have no time for outtings, like dinners and whatnot, and i'm fine with that . Just now he tells me that hes getting off work early , and is going to have a few beers with his friends. I tottallly flipped out and yelled at him, he told me dont call him for the rest of the night. I really feel like im in some sort of bind, and im thinking about really leaving him, but i dont have the gutsRelationship advice?
iT SEEMS TO ME YOU NEED MORE SELFESTEEM YOU CANT STAY WITH SOMEONE YOU DONT TRUST FURTHER MORE YOU CAN NOT LOVE SOMEONE YOU DO NOT TRUST. MAYBE YOU NEED TO BE ASKING YOURSELF WHAT YYOU REALLY FEEL FOR THIS MAN BECAUSE YOU COULD BE TO BLAME JUST AS MUCH AS HIM.Relationship advice?
Run with your gut......nothing should be more important to him than his wife....You should take top priority over any friendship....but with that being said....the same goes for you. I would try and relax but definitely keep your eyes open and not ignore your gut. I have had my own experience with this....and I'm sorry to say but we filed for divorce 3 months ago.
you sound a lot like me when I was first married. A little insecure, and very emotional. try to relax for the moment. your husband deceived you and its natural to be suspicious after that. Keep your eyes wide open for signs of deceit, but don't let suspicion overrule good judgment. When he calls occasionally to say he's going out with the guys, don't jump all over him. That justifies their behavior in their minds. Everyone needs some friend time now and then. If it becomes a regular thing then do some detective work. When he gets home tonight, be nice, ask if he had a good time, let him know you aren't angry. Don't let our female hormones and imaginations get the best of you. Its taken me over 20 years, but I've learned to save my temper for when its justified. It holds more value when you only make a big deal out of big things. Relax and enjoy your evening, or call a friend to meet up with. Either way, don't make any hasty decisions right NOW.
I don't know what to say exactly. My gut feeling is nevertheless this: In all likelihood, you did jump the gun as to your boyfriend-at-the-time's relationship with this woman friend; and, frankly, there is a good likelihood that there was not and is not anything to forgive as to the same.





Second, you don't have a solid relationship with this same individual, who, as per you, is now your husband. While trust, based on your history together, likely will always be an issue between the two of you, frankly, I don't even get a sense of any in-person chemistry between the two of you. No need to sweat about you having or not having the guts to leave, this marriage is headed on the fast-track to doom and it will be over soon enough without you having to lift a finger to aid it.





On the slim chance that you can calmly and civilly communicate with this husband effectively enough to get the two of you to get your keesters over to see a marriage counselor, there might be a slim ray of hope here.
I have been in the SAME EXTACT situation and no matter what anyone says on here.. Believe me.. You need to get out of this ASAP. I let it go for 5 years and it's the worst situation to go through. I tried counseling, etc.. Nothing will ever make you trust him again. Don't have one inch out dount in your mind that this ';lady friend'; was just a friend. He had no business having a ';lady friend'; so close to being married to you. Trust me. Get out of this marriage NOW. You are still on time. Good Luck.
you need to concentrate more on u and not on him. i know that might sound crazy to you right now, but it's true. you sound a little bit paranoid, which is understandable. have you considered a counselor? even if he wont go, although it sounds like he would, just seeing one yourself could help. at least you won't feel like you are alone and in trouble. plus, it's a psychiatrist's job work things out-they have a lot more experience than the average person on Yahoo.
RE: now its begining to take a toll on my self esteem.





OK, two things......


1 study up on self esteem training to bolster yours


2 learn some good relationship skills to improve yours
you know what he made you lose trust in you and now he needs to put that trust back in you and going to have drinks with guys is bull tacos so what you need to do is tell him that you are going out for a few drinks with your friends find a babysitter and go you have the right don't be a fool and sit at home why he is out there having fun i put up with so much with my hubby crap that he cheated on me left and right and of course like a dumb @ person i believe him! ha that all he wanted me to do so then he could keep doing it....