Abusive Relationship Advice?

I really need some advice. I've spent almost ten years in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend. We have fought numerous times in the past but now we don't. I've always made an excuse because since I would fight back and not be a punching bad I thought that this wasn't abusive. Secondly he lets his family ridicule me and does nothing to protect me. We have a kid together and this is the main reason I stay. Our relationship isn't good at all and I am not in love with him anymore. Every time he tries to make love to me it feels like im being raped because I just cringe at the thought of his touch. I feel like a prisoner and I don't know how to leave. I just don't know what to do, I don't have any family and no where to go. Also hes not really a bad person and he says he just didn't know how to act back then. We got into this relationship really earlier on in our twenties. And even though this is the past it still hurts so badly. I don't know what to do do you think it can get better. He don't do much of these things anymore, its just I just am so very confused. And as stupid as it is I don't want to break his heart because he's gotten a whole lot better. I just feel so guilty.Abusive Relationship Advice?
IF you ARE STILL being abused, PLEASE do NOT stay in this relationship. It's NOT going to change until you do something to change it which would be to leave him altogether. I too was in an abusive relationship %26amp; KNOW it just won't change. That person has a deep anger inside of him that only professional help can do anything for him. And I mean a LOT of professional help. Don't take abuse from any man. There is NO reason whatsoever for a man to hit or hurt a woman. They are cowards, they are really weak people w/in themselves w/NO self esteem. IF you can handle the expenses of where you now are, you can ALWAYS get a restraining order %26amp; he won't be allowed anywhere near you nor to have any contact w/you at all. You could ck. w/social services %26amp; see what kind of help is available for you as there IS LOTS of help if you just ask around %26amp; find it. IF you cannot afford to stay where you are, find out from social services just what you CAN do, where you can go %26amp; ask for all the help you can get. You can get a restraining order taken out against him regardless of where you are, %26amp; KNOW he CANNOT hurt you ever again. The law WILL stand behind you on that. But I'm NOT sure IF he's still physically abusing you are not. You cannot feel guilty for not having any feelings for someone who has hurt you like he has. He's the one who did this against you, he's the one who has killed any loving feelings you ever even had for him. So, it's NOT your fault, so please do NOT feel guilty for feeling as you do. You're the victim here, not the one who did all this against you. I KNOW how it is to have loved someone but to have them ';kill'; all your love you once had for them. I have been in the SAME position as you, that's why I KNOW about how you feel %26amp; what you can do about it IF he's still abusive twds. you. Do NOT take abuse from anyone, you are far better than that. Your child does not deserve to be bro't up in a family w/o love in it either. In time your child w/realize there is no love in the home. Better to be bro't up just w/you who at least shows he/she love, than to be bro't up w/none at all %26amp; have that empty feeling of no love in the family. Please do what you must do for you %26amp; your child. You DO have options if you go %26amp; find out about them. You've put up w/this for far too many yrs. You DO deserve a life of happiness, you do deserve a life w/love in it. It's very possible you CAN find that love in your future IF you just give yourself a chance. But DO at least give yourself that chance...I wish you all the best...:)Abusive Relationship Advice?
leave now and tell me your country and location i want help your not alone i am with you,you cannot be with this man anymore. you are too wounded. you need to make some honest decisions and take care of yourself and your baby but now leave here because need to u and our baby,


contact with me by mail i want some Personal discuss with u alone.
leave him. go stay at a friends house or something.





and as for the kid, i think its better because they wont have to see you guys arguing and fighting all the time. seeing thier parents hate each other is worse than seeing them not together. how do you think they feel when they see them hit you and treat you like crap. they are going to grow up thinking its ok to hit and be hit.
at all times keep a phone with you in case u need to call the police. a pocket knife will also be a huge help in violent situations. car keys too. these are the stuff you need in order to feel more protected individualy. keep in mind that if your boyfriend sees your message....


Anyways god bless you and best of luck!
The main reason why you stay is because of the kid!!!??? That should be the main reason you LEAVE! How dare you expose your child to such abuse??? You have no right to do so! You are his mother, your job is to provide a safe, healthy and happy environment! SHAME ON YOU!
hes the one with the problems not you. leave him, stay with a friend until you can find someone else/get your own place.
Abusive relationship = leave,no questions needed
honey... you cannot be with this man anymore. you are too wounded. you need to make some honest decisions and take care of yourself and your baby...
If you put up with someone treating you like that, it's YOUR fault.


Get away from him.... 10 years, you must enjoy it. Get some backbone and get him out..
Police... call the police.
LEAVE!!!!!!!!!! get out of it! and if it's happening now or during the next incident call the POLICE!
Leave.
ok u can do so much better, dump hum... its not worth it
if you stay for your child and they see what's going on they will be abusive or abused as an adult, and lose all respect for you. this happened to me with the father of my 3 children. i ended up leaving him to live at a womens shelter who had a two yr program for abused women and there children. they paid for my college, daycare for my kids, and gave me free counseling. this really shocked my husband and he wanted us back so bad he said he'd do anything. i told him he needed to get counseling and go to church. i stayed gone for just over a year when i decided to move back in. we ended up getting married a year later and slowly became a better man. change didn't happen overnight, but through prayer and counseling we made it work. been married for 3.5 yrs now. still have to pray everyday, but i'm glad we came out on the other side. good luck.
He's gotten a ';whole lot better'; basically implies that he has still sometimes hits you. It's better that you leave because it is to show your child what a relationship should be like. Do you really want your child to grow up thinking it is ok to hit a women? That this is how relationships are supposed to be like? It is actually selfish to stay with him, it isn't for your child, it is purely for you.





I suggest you do the following: Get a job, save your money, pack up your bags and leave. If you feel like you need to leave immediately because of danger, then you need to call a abuse shelter, they will give you a place to stay and help you with everything.
I have a lot of sympathy for you, but do not say you're staying for your kid. That doesn't even make sense - in fact, your kid is the main reason you should have gotten out a long time ago! You're staying because, in your own words, you ';don't want to break his heart';.





I hope you see how illogical that is! You're putting a mean, violent jerk ahead of your child and it's probably already damaged him/her.





I know it isn't easy, but if you feel guilt, feel it on her behalf, not his. He's a worthless piece of junk and he doesn't deserve either one of you. The difference is you can make it change; your child can't.





Call the national abuse hotline or local resources - they're all over the country. They can help you get started. Worry about your guilt later - your child needs you to get him/her out of there. You barely mentioned the child and this should be your focus.
I was in an abusive marriage for 15 yrs before I asked for a divorce. I didn't know what verbal/emotional abuse was. I recommend you read this book that helped me understand what was going on and how to leave the relationship permanently. You HAVE to end the relationship - there is nothing that will change him and you are not only putting yourself in danger, but also your child witnessing all of it too.





Please go to the library or book store and get ';Abuse Survivors Speak Out'; by Patricia Evans. It saved my life and now I'm married to a wonderful loving man who showed me what true love really is.
you say hes got better once a man starts hittin you sweety he will never stop he thinks its ok you either get out im sure you have an aunt are sumone he hits you abain scream yell get the dam phone if ya noty close scream so loud that the neigbers will here you dont put up with that shyt he was my bf he will be beat the ***** up i hit him with sumthin nock him out lol but just get away from him