Relationship advice please!!!!?

I am 24 yr old male.I have been through many tradegies over the past 4 years-from losing my mother, my grandfather and almost my life in a bad car accident...The problem i am having is I cant seem to find happiness in my long term relationship...I met my g/f 3 years ago and was head over heals for her. She is all I can ask for in a g/f and its frustrating to me that I have such a short fuse with her. I find her attractive, sexy, smart -everyhing a man would want in a gril but I cant seem to find an attachment. It is the most diffcitult thing in the world. Put youself in my shoes and think how it feelis to have feelings for some one so trong one day and be cold and anit- everything the next. I am in grad school full time and have a full time jon. I am on 50 mg of zoloft weening my self down from 100mg. I stoped going to therapy as these obessive negative thoughts come and go--i found it to helpful in someways and annoying in others. I wish I could jus be happy and Im tired of asking myself if she is the one-- it doenst get any better--- I had many other girls and the pieces never fit...She is beautiful and my mind downplays everything about her. I see her everyday which may be bad but then if I dont want to see her I over think it and tell myself I dont like her...Its crazy...what are normal feelings? I lost them through lifes rough path.....Please help...Relationship advice please!!!!?
You have OCD get some help before you ruin her life.Relationship advice please!!!!?
Dude, sounds like you got your plate full, stress is a bit''ch, ask youself, why am I on Zoloft.. Was it prescribed to help you with this hot cold feeling?? Dude ya aren't crazy, but maybe you might be chemically imbalanced, it is not crazy, it is like diabetes or chrones, or chronic heartburn, just something ain't quite right in your system, you are producing too much or too little of something... If you were goin to hterapy, they decide you were well enough, or ya just quit, you feel better or worse after quitting.. She know u take zoloft?? If ya can't do anything else, explain it to her on a day that ya feel good, but man ya are under a lot of strees, tell het that also, give her a hug, thank her for bein there for ya, and a hug, then a lil spank so she dont think ya are being too sentimental, luck to ya..
Well I can certainly relate. I am bi-polar and I suffer from serious mood swings. I take medicine, but like you I have good days and bad days. The best I can tell you is to keep getting help. A therapist can help you discover why you have these feelings. These can help you fix whatever is going on with you. Once you figure out the problem you can then find ways to solve it. Once your mind is clear, then you can sort out your feelings and really find out how you feel about your girlfriend. It will be okay. Just work on yourself first. Love yourself, and you are loving yourself by taking care of your mental problems. I hope this helps.
Ok, first up, there really are no ';normal'; feelings in situations like this. I think this has a hell of a lot to do with the tragedies you've experienced - esp. all before your mid 20s - and not really about her or whether she's the right one for you. I lost my grandmother %26amp; father (both whom I was very, very close to) quite close together when I was in mid 20s %26amp; afterwards became an absolute hermit for a long time. I was working from home, stopped socialising %26amp; my relationship suffered big time. In a lot of ways I stopped really feeling anything at all %26amp; in hindsight that was what I was unconsciously trying to achieve - wrapping myself in a cocoon, becoming numb etc. so I couldn't get close to anyone again %26amp; be hurt so badly by losing them. You've experienced a lot %26amp; you're still going through it - esp. as you say you stopped therapy bc of negative thoughts that kept popping up. What you've described with how you feel towards your girlfriend sounds familiar - my relationship at the time suffered because I'd feel love towards him %26amp; want to be close one day %26amp; the next, I'd be trying to push him away bc I was too scared to let anything that might hurt me again get close. Maybe you're doing something similar - you truly do love her but your mind is downplaying her to keep her at arms length in a way to protect yourself from another tragedy / the possibility of letting yourself go with her, becoming fully attached %26amp; then losing her for some reason.


I could be way off base here, but even so, I hope this helps some. And I will say this, if you can do it, try to keep up with some sort of therapy - its my experience that burying or ignoring the negative thoughts just makes them fester %26amp; come out in various ways later. Good luck :)
One thing is for sure and that is that you love your g/f. The problem is you don't know who you are yet. You are still young and you are trying so desperately to find who you are, how you feel about your life, and what you want out of life. I would suggest taking time to relax your mind through meditation and spending less time with your g/f. By doing so you will miss her all the more and want to see her. Sounds as if she is a good woman but she is unintentionally and unknowingly working your nerves. Separate yourself from her somewhat. Absence will make your heart grow fonder and hopefully give you a renewed outlook on your relationship. The last thing you want to do is push her away from you. You would be doing both of you a favor by giving yourself some space. Good luck.